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LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. 



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f UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, f 



Sunshine Among the Clouds: 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 



MRS, M. E. M'ALLISTER. 



lit]) an Sntrobuctioir Jjj &tb. (Gc. 33. Ionian, $. ©. 



"My experience is not ?ny own: God has given it, and I am not at 
liberty to withhold it." 










CI NCINNATI: 


HITCHCOCK AND WALDEN. 


FOR THE AUTH OR. 


1873. 






Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1873, 
BY MRS. M. E. M'ALLISTER, 

In the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. 



TO 



|,he |k>vetl |)ne$ to uMst, 



WHO HAVE BEEN THE COMPANIONS AND HELPERS IN FAITH 

DURING THE CONFLICTS, AND PARTAKERS OF THE 

TRIUMPHS, NARRATED IN THESE PAGES ; 

AND ESPECIALLY 

TO THOSE WHO MOURN FOR THE " GONE FROM EARTH," 

OF WHOM THESE IMPERFECT REMEMBRANCES ARE GIVEN, 

®!jt* 3UttI* Boor 

IS AFFECTIONATELY DEDICATED BY 
THE AUTHOR. 



PREFACE, 




'HE contents of the first eight chapters of 
this unpretending volume were collected 
from scattered papers, with no intention 
of publication, at a time when I supposed that 
earth's pilgrimage was nearly ended. 

The motive prompting to this was, that the 
experiences as therein narrated would be a com- 
fort to my dear parents, husband, and children, 
when I should be resting with the redeemed. 

With returning health came the conviction 
that these experiences might be made a blessing 
to others, and that I had no right to withhold 
them ; nor could I find rest of mind until in my 
closet I promised God that I would place the 
same in the hands of those considered competent 
judges, and that thus the voice of the Church 
should be to me the voice of God. 



VI PREFACE. 

This was done, and the decision made to pub- 
lish ; but in this I seemed strangely prevented, 
from time to time, until since the experience as 
narrated in the last two chapters. 

Cautious and shrinking nature strongly pleaded 
that these experiences be withheld ; while, on the 
other hand, the influence of God's providence 
and Spirit seem urging to give them. 

Believing that His own hand leadeth me, I 
cast them as bread upon the waters, expecting 
that, in the day of the solving of life's mystery, 
I shall know of the whys and wherefores. 

I only give these unusual manifestations in 
dreams, etc., because they have been to me mes- 
sengers of comfort and joy ; and while I would 
lay little stress upon them — knowing that God's 
revealed Word is the true and all-sufficient lamp 
for our feet — I have been led to accept them as 
way-marks in the path of glory, and through 
them to trust the more fully in Him who so 
tenderly leads his children through their own 
darkness into his light. 

THE AUTHOR. 



CONTENTS. 



Introduction, Page 13 

CHAPTER I. 

Our Commission — Blessings of Childhood — Early Conver- 
sion — Wanderings of Heart — Convictions of the Necessity of 
Holiness — Years of Seeking — The Rest of Faith gained — Con- 
flicts and Victories in regard to Profession — Witness of the 
Spirit lost — Witness of the Spirit regained — Blessedness of the 
Life of Faith — Remembrances of Former Teachings of the 
Spirit — The Land of Beulah no longer in the Distance — Why 
Christians complain of Darkness — The Earth between them and 
Christ — Longings for Closer Communion with God — Answer to 
Prayer realized — The trial of Faith — Glorious Deliverance from 
Temptation, 19 

CHAPTER II. 

At Quincy Camp-meeting — Victories of the Cross over Nat- 
ural Timidity— Work for All — The Insufficiency of Earthly 
Honors or Emulations to attract the Soul — The Sting of Deatli 
removed — Triumphant Death of Mother Page — Interest in 

7 



8 CONTENTS. 

Bible-class — Bible-class Prayer-meeting — The Want of More 
Holy Members in the Church — Contending with the Powers of 
Darkness — The Eternal Word a Strong Tower — Earnest Desires 
to be More Christ-like — Lessons in the Way of Faith — Con- 
sciousness of being brought Nearer Christ — The Darkness and 
Sorrow brought by the Bloodshed in the Land — Enlistment of 
Companion in the Service of his Country — Motives Influencing — 
Power of Prayer to calm the Soul — The Parting — Assurances of 
meeting again — The Safety and Joyousness of the Narrow Way — 
Again at Quincy Camp-meeting — The Strength given in " The 
Just shall live by Faith " — Comfort in a Night Vision, Page 41 

CHAPTER III. 

Suffering of Mind in regard to Companion — Dream of attend- 
ing his Funeral — Wonderful Blessing in the lifting above Earthly 
Things of May nth — A Special Prayer, and Assurance gained — 
The Much-feared Cup of Sorrow given to drink — The Anguish 
hidden in the Few Words, " Mortally wounded on the Eleventh" — 
Great Triumph in Death — Messages of Comfort — Funeral Serv- 
ices — Glimpses of the Light on the Other Shore — Further Intelli- 
gence from Richmond — The Dying Message — Darkness of Na- 
tional Affairs — The Refuge of the Christian — Blessings of Chris- 
tian Sympathy — Heart-searchings before God — The Witness of 
the Spirit Dimmed — Desire to know that all felt meets the 
Divine Approval — Blessings of the Sanctuary — The " Star of 
Promise" — Full Particulars of Death of Husband— Answer of 
the Prayer of May nth — Belief in a Special Providence strength- 
ened — A Richmond Hospital made Light — The Stability of 
Jerusalem Above — Brighter Stars than those of Earthly Con- 
querors gained — Sorrow of the Land turned to Rejoicing — Tears 
of Widows and Orphans bottled in Heaven — Victory over Suf- 
fering, and Nearness to the Heavenly Jerusalem — Rest of Soul 
regained — Definite Testimony — Walking in the Light — The Trial 
and Victory, 54 



CONTENTS. 



CHAPTER IV. 

Christian Communion — Chosen in the Furnace of Affliction — 
Earthly Good relinquished for Treasure in Heaven — A Remem- 
brance of Mrs. C. E. M'Allister — Among Strangers — Filled with 
" Joy Unspeakable and Full of Glory " — New Year commenced — 
Labor at F. — Quarterly-meeting — An Incident of the Meeting — 
Re-echoings of " Tell my Family to meet me in Heaven " — Pres- 
ence of the Lord with his People — Decisions for Eternity — A 
Realization of " All Things work together for Good," etc. — Suf- 
ferings of Earth bringing Nearer to Christ — Not a Separated 
Family — The Christian's Legacy, .... Page 76 



CHAPTER V. 

Incompetency of Earthly Powers to tell the Joys of the 
Redeemed — Albion Centenary Camp-meeting — Thoughts of the 
Past, Present, and Future — Christian Fellowship — Struggle of 
Soul, and Victory gained by Faith — Heavenly Places — A Real- 
ization of the "Victory gained by Faith" — Gift of Power re- 
ceived — Anticipations of the Future Fellowship of Souls made 
One in Christ — Binding of the Offering upon the Altar — Ann 
Arbor Camp-meeting — Overpowering Manifestation of the Divine 
Presence — Meeting with Dr. and Mrs. Palmer — Victories of the 
Cross — The Banner of Holiness — He set a Child in the Midst 
of Them, 95 



CHAPTER VI. 

Prepared — A Remembrance of Miss M. L. Smith — Unpre- 
pared — Moscow Camp-meeting — New Conference Year com- 
menced — Discouragements — The Foundation of God's Word a 
Firm Rock — Answer to Prayer in Eddy's Mission, . .114 



IO CONTENTS. 



CHAPTER VII. 



Remembrance of Rev. H. Law — The Broken Vow, and Re- 
morse of Conscience in Death — A Realization of the Promise, 
" In All thy Ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy 
Paths " — Unexpected Trial — Prevailing Prayer — Burden of Soul 
for Unconverted, and Deep Convictions of the Unsaved — Specific 
Prayer — Power of Faith, Page 126 

CHAPTER VIII. 

Remembrance of Rev. J. Jennings — His Religious Experi- 
ence — A Visit to his Sick-room — Dying Utterances — Renewal 
of Christian Associations on Coldwater Camp-ground — Vacant 
Places — Strengthened to contend for Scriptural Holiness — Mem- 
orable Evening — White Raiment — Albion Feast of Tabernacles — 
Light about the River — Desire to live and labor — New Wit- 
nesses — Annual Conference — Morning Love-feast — Zion aris- 
ing — Mrs. H. Brockway — Mrs. E. Crane — Her Character and 
Experience as described by a Friend — Christmas-gift — Soul 
Aspirations — Joyful Anticipation of the Future, . . . 144 



CHAPTER IX. 

Remembrance of Rev. E. Crane — Suffering, instead of doing, 
the Will of God — Suggestions of Adversary — Victory gained at 
Family Altar — Preserved Blameless — Conference at Three 
Rivers — Bishop Ames's Remarks upon the Inner Life — Eternity 
none too long for the Revealing of the Mystery — Remembrance 
of Brucie Hoag — " He shall sit as a Refiner," etc. — Sympathy 
with Christ the Christian's Power — Remembrance of Willie 
Daugherty — Blessedness of Life — Influence — Key-stone of the 
Arch, 163 



CONTEXTS. 1 1 



CHAPTER X. 



Moscow — Our Welcome at the Parsonage — Expecting the 
Harvest — Failure of the Health of Mr. M'Allister — A Treas- 
ure — Conversion of Allie — New Experience regarding Public 
Work — Entering of Woman's Foreign Missionary Work — First 
Appointment — Experience at Albion Camp-meeting — License 
Question agitated — Perplexity of Mind — Experience at the Close 
of Meeting — Awake in the Night with the Words, "Go ye" — 
Doubts regarding Duty — Decision to go forward — License Ques- 
tion again hinders — Xorth Adams — Labor at L T nion City — De- 
cision to avoid Every Thing that looks in the Direction oi Special 
Public Work — Anticipation of Mr. M'Allister regarding Regular 
Work — Gains Some Victory — Speedy Answer to a Special Re- 
quest — At Hanover — Illness of Mr. M'Allister — Sent of the 
Lord — Disappointment — Application of "I was brought low, 
and He helped me " — Experience at Bedside of Companion — 
View of the River of Death — Expectation of Recovery — Xew 
Conflicts and Difficulties — Letter from Mrs. M. L. Crawford — 
Struggle and Victory — Conversation with Pastor — Cross lifted — 
Victory — Improving Health of Companion — Anticipated United 
Labor for Christ — Suddenly taken Worse — Hope departing — 
Strengthened by the coming of Mrs. M. L. Jordan, . Page 186 

CHAPTER XL 

Triumphant Death-bed Scene of Rev. J. E. M'Allister — Con- 
flict with Adversary — Mrs. M. L. Crawford awakened by a Voice 
saying, " Vour Precious Friend's Husband is Dead " — Opening 
of Way for Public Work — Divine Strength imparted — Labors 
at Home — License to Exhort given — Examination passed for Li- 
cense to Preach — Prejudices and Self-will at the Feet of Jesus — 
Severe Conflict and Victory — St. Joseph — Benton Harbor — Items 
in the Experience of Mrs. M. L. Crawford — Experience of Full 



12 



CONTENTS. 



Salvation — View of the Cross — Special Prayer brings Special 
Blessing — Hears Angelic Choristers — Return Home — Comforted 
by the Reflection of Earth Lights — Anticipation of the " Wel- 
come Home" on the Other Shore, . ... Page 212 




INTRODUCTION. 




1 HE narration of Christian experience is one 
of the means which God uses to comfort his 
children and advance the interests of his 
kingdom. As he has promised that we shall not be 
tempted above that which we are able to bear, the 
experience of others becomes a demonstration to us 
that the promises of God will be fulfilled. 

The feeling of dependence is so strong in us, 
that we not only lean upon God, but upon each other, 
for support. This is most strikingly manifest in all 
matters pertaining to our spiritual life. God seems 
to have so ordered it that his Word and his Spirit 
lead us to himself through our fellows, as instruments. 
Occasionally, his Spirit may convict and convert a 
soul without the intervention of a fellow-spirit, but 
the instances are rare. In matters of salvation, we 
are "workers together with God." By us the Word 
is preached ; by us witness is borne to all around, 

13 



14 INTRODUCTION. 

that the " Son of Man hath power on earth not only 
to forgive sins, but to cleanse from all unrighteous- 
ness ;" by us the life of faith — the " life hid with 
Christ in God " — is to be so lived that we are to 
represent him, and, in " his stead, beseech men to be 
reconciled to God." 

An angel of God may appear unto the devout Cor- 
nelius, and say: "Thy prayers and thine alms are 
come up for a memorial before God f but he attempts 
not to preach the Gospel, but adds : " Send men to 
Joppa and call for Simon, whose surname is Peter : 
. . . he shall tell thee what thou oughtest to do." 
Peter is instructed by a vision with reference to the 
said Cornelius ; but it was not until he told the story 
of the Cross, and announced himself as a witness 
that " remission of sins " is through faith in the name 
of Christ, that the Holy Ghost fell upon Cornelius 
and those that were with him, as upon the apostles 
on the 'day of Pentecost. Why did not the angel 
preach Jesus to Cornelius ? 

The persecuting and blood-stained Saul of Tarsus 
may be stricken to the earth on his road to Damascus, 
and see and converse with the risen and ascended 
Savior, but in reply to the question, " Lord, what wilt 
thou have me to do?" he does not receive a direct 
answer, but is told, "Arise, and go into the city, and 
it shall be told thee what thou must do." And it is 
not until after three days of darkness and fasting and 
prayer, when the Divinely instructed Ananias enters 
the house where he is, "and putting his hands on 



INTR OD UCTION. 1 5 

him, said, Brother Saul, the Lord, even Jesus, that 
appeared unto thee in the way as thou earnest, hath 
sent me that thou mightest receive thy sight and be 
filled with the Holy Ghost," that he received sight, 
was baptized, and began to " preach that Jesus is the 
Son of God." Why was not Paul converted at the 
time he so humbly asked, " What wilt thou have me 

to do r 

As it was then, so it is now. Few, if any,' are 
converted or sanctified, only as they come in contact 
with the experience of others who enjoy these 
blessings. 

The apostles, in obedience to a specific command, 
remained in Jerusalem until they received the gift of 
the Holy Ghost, that they might be " witnesses unto 
Christ;" and when they were filled with the Holy 
Ghost, they spake as the Spirit gave them utterance, 
and preached remission of sins and the gift of the 
Holy Spirit unto every one who repented and called 
upon the name of the Lord ; and multitudes were 
added unto their number, and witnessed to a present 
and full salvation in the name of Jesus. 

All along the ages, the relation of personal ex- 
perience has been an element of power in the 
Christian Church. "I am a Christian," was the ut- 
terance of the martyrs ; and, despite the fagot and 
the stake and the block, the witnesses for Jesus were 
multiplied. 

In the days of early Methodism in this land, the 
apostolic custom of " telling one's experience" was 



1 6 INTRO D UCTION. 

followed by the ministers, and many were led to the 
Savior. The class-meeting and love-feast have been 
the instruments of the conversion of hundreds of 
thousands ; and it will be a sad clay for Methodism 
when these places for the relation of Christian ex- 
perience are not attended by the masses of the 
Church, and when ministers forget to tell how and 
when they were released from the guilt and dominion 
of sin. 

Frequently the pen supplies, in a measure, the 
place of the tongue, and letters and books are made 
the medium by which Christian experience is narrated 
to the honor and glory of God. Books of personal 
experience have many disadvantages, and, on the 
whole, are not equal to oral testimony, yet they have 
some advantages. Books can be with you and speak 
when the nearest and dearest personal friends can 
not. Over the written or printed pages you can linger 
and meditate and pray • and, as you drink in the 
spirit of the writer, the Holy Spirit enlightens your 
mind and leads you to that fountain where all sin and 
un cleanness are washed away. Many souls have 
been awakened by the tract and the written Word; 
many have been led to seek a fuller baptism of the 
Spirit by reading the experience of men and women 
eminent for their spirituality, and seeing in that ex- 
perience a practical application of the promises of 
God to them in answer to their prayer and faith. 

One want of the Church, at the present time, is 
clear, well-written narrations of Christian experience, 



INTRODUCTION. 1 7 

covering the whole life of faith. We have many books 
of precepts,, of doctrine, of controversy. These are 
necessary, and are accomplishing their work. Some- 
thing more is needed. Books illustrating the power 
of the grace of God in daily life are needed by the 
Church, and these illustrations must be drawn from 
real life, and name and date and place given. Illus- 
trations, such as are frequently given in the garb of 
fiction, however true to nature they may be, will not 
do. The soul longs to hear some other souls tell by 
pen or tongue what God has done for them ; and, 
when such souls speak, the fainting heart is revived, 
the doubting heart believes, and the hungry and thirsty 
heart is filled. May God multiply books of Christian 
experience ! 

This little book is such a work. It is a plain ac- 
count of the dealings of God with one of his children, 
in the ordinary walks of life. The greater portion of 
the work is in the form of a diary, and the daily bless- 
ings and trials, temptations and victories, are enumer- 
ated. It is the experience of one who has been made 
a partaker of the blessings of perfect love, and who 
feels that it is her duty to tell the riches of grace in 
Christ Jesus to her, that others may be emboldened to 
step into that " higher life," and thus be qualified to 
labor more efficiently for God. Her simple narration 
will do good to all who may read it. If they are seek- 
ing for holiness of heart, it will aid them ; if they 
enjoy it, it will stimulate them to renewed zeal, a more 
open confession of Christ, and a more careful illus- 

2 



1 8 INTRODUCTION. 

tration in their lives of a state of grace ignored by 
some, misapprehended by many, and misrepresented 
by others. May God, who " is able to do exceeding 
abundantly above all that we ask or think," make 
these pages a blessing to thousands! 

G. B. J. 

Albion College. 




SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 



CHAPTER I. 

OUR COMMISSION. 



BH-ilT was an hour of darkness and gloom to 
the little band of disciples. He on 
whom they had looked as Israel's Re- 



deemer, had been crucified, and his body was now 
lying in the tomb. 

" Ah ! death seemed all-conquering when he bound 
The Lord of Life in prison !" 

But, "As it began to dawn" — fit emblem of a 
more glorious light dawning upon our sin-cursed 
world than mortal saw — " came Mary Magdalene 
and the other Mary, to see the sepulcher. And, 
behold, there was a great earthquake : for the 
angel' of the Lord descended from heaven, and 
came and rolled back the stone from the door, and 

19 



20 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

sat upon it. His countenance was like lightning, 
and his raiment white as snow. And for fear of 
him the keepers did shake, and became as dead 
men. And the angel answered and said unto 
the women, Fear not ye : for I know that ye seek 
Jesus, which was crucified. He is not here : for 
he has risen, as he said. Come, see the place 
where the Lord lay. And go quickly, and tell 
his disciples that he is risen from the dead." 
What a change ! 

" The might of death was nowhere found, 
When Christ again was risen." 

Marys of the present age ! Have we seen the 
light shining in a dark place ? Has the day 
dawned ? the day-star arisen in our hearts ? Has 
the light, seen afar down through the vista of ages 
yet to come, brightening with glowing ray the 
pages of an Isaiah, giving beauty to the prophe- 
sies of a weeping Jeremiah, entered our soul ? 

"How blessed are our eyes 

That see this heavenly light ! 
Prophets and kings desired it long, 
But died without the sight." 

*- 

But hear our commission ! "Go quickly and 
tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead !" 
Not, let thy lips be sealed while the soul burns 
within for joy thereof; but hasten, while the sepul- 
cher's open, the breezes blowing from Calvary's 
mountain ; while He liveth to make intercession 



EXTRA CTS FR OM EXPERIENCE. 2 1 

for the sins of the people, to redeem from all 
iniquity, and sanctify unto himself a peculiar peo- 
ple; while by blessed experience thou art proving 
that Christ is a risen Savior, that his blood 
clean seth, washeth whiter than snow, — go, bear 
the glad news ! Publish it ! The Master saith : 
" Be not afraid. My presence shall go with thee, 
and I will give thee rest." 

Tell the Church her bridal attire awaiteth her ; 
the promise of the Father is hers. Tell that 
group mourning over the desolations of Zion, in 
gloom singing of former days of gladness, but 
making no effort to rebuild her walls, to arise and 
shine, for their light is come. 

Tell those mourning ones, weeping above 
newly made graves, that Jesus hath passed 
through the tomb, broken its bars, and now glory 
gilds the grave, paving the way to heaven. 

O, blessed privilege — with so glorious a light 
shining above, beneath, and all around us, to go 
forth amid the gloom of a world lying in wick- 
edness, telling to all, from the king upon his 
throne to the beggar at the rich man's gate, the 
joyful news of a risen Redeemer ! 

Such a life, though it be one of comparative 
obscurity, leaves ever beside its pathway, immortal 
monuments. The world may not discern them ; 
they, seeing so dimly through the mists and vapors 



22 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

of sin, perceive nought but those that are tinged 
with gold, and rear proudly toward heaven. These 
shall crumble into dust ; but a life of faith that 
goeth forth, bearing precious seed, with its record 
on high, shall not die, but live forever ; and 
though it be but the giving of the " cup of cold 
water" in the name of a disciple, immortality is 
stamped upon it. 

Years have passed since in this we saw our 
commission. We looked upon the great harvest- 
field, with earnest longings upon the work of 
those who, scattering broadcast over our land the 
seeds of Scriptural holiness, were already reaping 
an abundant harvest ; then upon our own unfit- 
ness for a work so important, — and our heart sank 
within us. Then we read the encouraging words : 
" Ruth gleaned in the fields of Boaz" 

" If you can not in the harvest 
Gather up the richest sheaves, 
Many a grain both ripe and golden, 
Will the careless reapers leave. 

Go and glean among the briers 
. Growing rank against the wall ; 
For it may be that their shadow 
Hides the heaviest wheat of all." 

We saw our work ; and, though never able to 
point to splendid services in the cause of our 
Master, though not ours to wield the sickle in 
the ripened field, we do expect when, with the 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 23 

redeemed millions we shout the harvest-home, to 
be able, all of grace, to carry our sheaves with us. 

11 Happy then will be those gleaners 
Who have sheaves to carry home." 

Amid our gleanings, these Christian experi- 
ences have been gathered, and, trusting that to 
some traveler with us to the better country, they 
may prove as would a " cup of cold water given 
in the name of a disciple," we give them. 

December 1, 1858. The past of my life has 
been bountifully strewn with the blessings of a 
kind heavenly Father. Very early in life the 
seeds were sown in my heart by Christian parents, 
which ought to produce the hundred-fold ; and 
God be praised that the lessons of early child- 
hood have not been upon altogether unfruitful 
soil ! The seed has germinated. O, that it may 
finally become as " the tree planted by the rivers 
of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season ; 
his leaf also shall not wither, and whatsoever he 
doeth shall prosper !" 

When not yet nine years of age, I bowed with 
my parents at the altar of prayer, a weeping pen- 
itent, feeling keenly my need of a Savior, and 
arose happy in the consciousness of sins forgiven. 
The joy of-that hour, though fourteen years have 
since passed, is still fresh in my memory. 



24 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

It was but the conversion of a child, 't is true ; 
but angels in heaven struck anew their golden 
harps, and the song in which the millions around 
the throne joined was over a child saved from 
the power and dominion of sin. My conversion I 
have never doubted. My evidence was as clear 
as the midday sun. The next morning, on 
awakening, I took up the family Bible — " which 
lay on the stand" — and opened to these words : 
" O Lord, I will praise thee : for though thou 
wast angry with me, thine anger is turned away, 
and thou comfortest me ;" and for some time 
praise was continually upon my tongue. God be 
praised that children may know on earth their 
sins forgiven, and retain that evidence too ! O, 
for more fathers and mothers in Israel to lead 
forward to green pastures these tender lambs of 
the fold ! 

For some years I was faithful ; then, as the 
temptations of youth clustered around me, my 
experience relapsed into that of thousands at the 
present day : 

" Now I repent ; now sin again ; 
Now I revive, and now am slain." 

That there was for the Christian a nobler, 
higher, and holier experience, I knew ; for from 
childhood I had been surrounded by living wit- 
nesses of the power of grace to save even unto 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 2$ 

the uttermost : and through the influence of these, 
and the reading of such books as Mrs. Fletcher, 
Hester A. ' Rogers, Mrs. Palmer, and others, I 
was led to see the beauty and excellency of a life 
of holiness in contrast with my own; and the 
necessity of purity of heart as a preparation for 
a life of usefulness, and the abundant entrance 
to that city to which nothing unholy or unclean 
ever gains admittance, became, as never before, a 
reality, until 

" My restless soul cried out, oppress'd, 
Impatient to be freed." 

Yet, not discerning the simple way of faith, 
trusting to a degree in my own works, deeming 
that in order to claim the blessing a certain 
summit of feeling must be attained, it would at 
times seem that I but wept, fasted, and prayed 

in vain. 

i 

u O, how many a glorious record had the angels of me kept, 
Had I done instead of doubted, had I warred instead of wept !" 

At other seasons, the blessing seemed just 

within my reach. Then I would start back as 

some cross would be presented, proving the 

depth of meaning in the interrogation : " How 

can ye believe which receive honor one of another 

and seek not the honor that cometh from God 

only ?" 

O, the groans, the tears, the fastings of those 



26 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

years in which my soul refused to submit fully to 
Christ ! How fully have they proved to this 
heart that 

" No outward form can make us clean ; 
The leprosy lies deep within!" 

A year ago last September, my wearied soul 
exclaimed, " I can not, nor will I, longer rest until 
pure within ;" and alone in my room I bowed, re- 
solved to count the cost then and there, let the 
sacrifice be what it might. O, how ready is the 
Spirit of God to lead us, when we submit to be 
led ! I had but just commenced the struggle, 
crying, " Now, Lord, give me the blessing now !" 
when a voice seemed to whisper to my soul, hush- 
ing it to quietness, " This struggling is not neces- 
sary ;" then the words, " Likewise reckon ye also 
yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive 
unto God through Jesus Christ our Lor^l." Very 
clearly was presented to my mind, through the 
light of the Spirit shining upon the written Word, 
the terms, " Wherefore come out from among them 
and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not 
the unclean thing ;" and the promise, "/will re- 
ceive you" accompanied by the precious exhorta- 
tion : " Having, therefore, these promises, dearly 
beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness 
of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the 
fear of God." The consecration in the light given 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 2J 

was made — time, talent, influence ; and O, how 
these now appeared as not my own ! — and the dear- 
est idols I had were all laid upon the altar, and 
I arose with no other change of feeling than that 
of the consciousness of having met the Divine 
requirement, and a quiet sinking out of self into 
the will of God. 

I had expected some wonderful manifestation, 
an overwhelming joy; and here was only the 
feeling of one long tossed upon the billows at the 
mercy of the waves, now anchored in the harbor 
of repose, a consciousness of safety, of security 
inexpressible, and a fear of moving lest it should 
be from my hiding-place in the clefts of the Rock. 

But not an hour had passed before it was sug- 
gested to my mind, You will have to tell this to 
your companion (who was then absent from 
home). This was the first cross. But remem- 
bering that by virtue of my consecration I was 
no longer my own, I immediately took my pen 
and wrote of the consecration made, adding the 
expression of my faith in the blood that cleanseth 
from all sin. The moment this was done, my 
soul was filled to overflowing. The Spirit, bear- 
ing witness with mine, came, and laying down my 
pen, I long gave vent to the joy within in shouts 
of praise. 

But a short time passed before again was 



28 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

presented to my mind the duty of bearing direct 
testimony before the Church, both in the public 
social circles and in private conversation, of the 
grace received. The tempter suggested : " Better 
wait and let the fruit speak for itself. You are in 
a land of strangers, and know of no one in this 
crowded city Church who professes to have 
present personal knowledge of the efficacy of the 
blood of Christ to cleanse from all sin. Would 
not definite testimony upon your part savor of 
pride ?" 

Sabbath morning came, and I repaired to my 
class-room. Testimonies were given, but nothing- 
was said by either leader or class-mates of " holi- 
ness!' O, how I longed to there find some soul 
beating in sympathy with mine ! But I found it 
not. I arose to my feet, thinking, " I '11 speak 
clearly of the consecration made, but will be care- 
ful of expressions, so as not to give to my brethren 
and sisters cause for offense ;" but had no sooner 
began telling of the past years of wandering in 
the wilderness, the longings after more of the 
inner-life, holiness of heart, and of the consecra- 
tion made during the past week, than the bless- 
ing of God came upon me, causing a hitherto 
unknown boldness, and, instead of saying as in- 
tended, " I think the offering is accepted/' I said, 
" I know the offering is accepted, and the blood 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 29 

of Christ cleanseth." But I had no sooner taken 
my seat than the adversary met me, and accused 
me of boasting ; and then, that I was myself de- 
ceived and was deceiving others. In this state 
of mind I went into the audience-room, and so 
great became the conflict in my own mind that 
nothing of the sermon was heard, and I returned 
to my home in an agony of mind seemingly unen- 
durable, resolved alone with my God to settle 
the question ; and again, in the secret place, I 
threw myself upon the Immutable Word, and 
found my feet again pressing solid rock. To God 
be all the glory, who knoweth how to deliver from 
temptation, and who causeth the trial of our faith 
to be " more precious than of gold that perisheth." 
For some months I was enabled to hold fast 
my confidence in the direct testimony of the Spirit 
relative to the grace received. Moral power was 
given, and O how sweet to labor in the vineyard 
of the Master, while I testified to the Church 
and a wondering world, " Great peace have they 
which love thy law, and nothing shall offend 
them !" But the All-wise Father saw my need of 
different discipline. Cares multiplied. Ill health 
deprived me of the means of grace in which my 
soul so much delighted ; and, by degrees, the wit- 
ness of the Spirit became unnecessarily dim. The 
knowledge of the present application of the blood 



30 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

of Christ to cleanse from all impurity, declined 
into the question, " Does it now cleanse me ?" 

But who that has fed in green pastures can be 
content upon the barren mountain of unbelief? 
Again, last December 14th, in my extremity I 
cried : 

"Only thou, my leader be, 
And I still will follow thee." 

Then I remembered it is written, " If we walk 
in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellow- 
ship one with another, and the blood of Jesus 
Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin? I saw 
no way of retreat, nor did I desire it. The cry 
of my longing heart was : 

" Nearer, my God, to thee ! 
Nearer to thee ! 
E'en though it be a cross 
That raiseth me." 

The answer came. The voice I knew. It was 
that of the Comforter — " I have come and brought 
the Father with me" — while a voice of reproof for 
former unbelief, yet of such tender compassion 
that my soul melted before it, said, " Reach hither 
thy finger and behold my hands ; and reach hither 
thy hand and thrust it into my side, and be not 
faithless, but believing." Quickly my soul re- 
sponded, "Henceforth, when the joys of sense 
depart, I will walk by faith alone.'* O, how 



EXTRA CTS FR OM EXPERIENCE. 3 I 

precious to my soul the answer of my merciful 
High Priest, " Then God shall be glorified ; Christ 
magnified." The blessedness of that hour's com- 
munion is still with me. 

" My flesh which cries, ' It can not be, 7 
Shall silence keep before the Lord." 

Mine is the joy of knowing that all I have or 
am, or ever expect to be, is given to Christ. " Be- 
hold, we have forsaken all and followed thee. 
What shall we have therefore ?" fi In the world 
ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer: 
I have overcome the world." 

My legacy I have read. It's the will of the 
Unchangeable : " Whether Paul, or Apollos, or 
Cephas, or the world, or life* or death, or things 
present, or things to come : All are mine : and I 
am Christ's : and Christ is God's." Unto him 
will I go, without the camp, bearing his re- 
proach until it is said, " It is enough : Child, come 
home !" Then gladly shall I drop this tenement 
of clay, and, clad in immortality, join the redeemed 
above. 

January 6, 1859. The last moments of the 
Old Year were spent in renewed consecration of 
all to Christ. The adversary of late has ceased his 
endeavors to make me believe that I am not wholly 
the Lord's. Perfect faith puts doubt to flight. 



32 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

Through the grace of God I am enabled to testify 
that, " The life which I now live in the flesh I 
live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved 
me and gave himself for me." O, blessed con- 
sciousness of Divine favor ! O, the blessedness 
of hearkening to the commands of the unseen ! 
My peace is as a river. Twice, of late, while 
worshiping with the people of God, I have been 
filled with joy unspeakable and full of glory, and 
had I held my peace, the very stones must have 
cried out. " Cry out and shout, thou inhabitant 
of Zion ; for great is the Holy One of Israel in the 
midst of thee." 

yanuary ytk. A cold, windy, and stormy night. 
All without seems in commotion ; but in my heart 
there is a sweet peace given by Him who of old 
spoke to the troubled deep, " Peace, be still !" I 
look back with wonder upon the long years in 
which my soul has been so tempest-tossed, seek- 
ing rest and quietness. Why, O why, did I not 
cast my anchor within the veil, and let it take 
hold upon Christ ? 

" O'er life's rough ocean wave 
Fast was I going ; 
By threatening tempests driven, and billows tost. 
And surges deep of woe, 
My soul o'erflowing ! 
O, all seem'd lost without Thee — lost, all lost." 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 33 

But now, 

"My faith hath caught the gaze — 
I now behold Thee : 
And now let tempests wing their chilling frost; 
Thy mildly melting ray 
Beams sweetly o'er me — 
But without Thee, I am lost — in darkness lost." 

Just now I am reminded of an experience of 
several years ago. Was visiting in company 
with a friend at the home of a dear sister, who 
had long been walking the narrow way, and in 
my night-visions seemed recounting to this 
friend — who was also in possession of the rest of 
faith — every minutia of my past experience, my 
conversion, after wanderings of heart, times of 
awakening, and again of relapse. God's special 
care and long-suffering amidst it all, seemed to 
come vividly to mind, and, at the remembrance, 
my soul melted before the Lord, when I suddenly 
awoke, while the room seemed filled with the 
glory of God, saying aloud, " In all this he has 
kept me to prove his utmost salvation ; his 
fullness of love !" This made a deep impres- 
sion on my mind, and was the means of intensi- 
fying my desires for holiness of heart. 

My dear companion has of late also entered 
this rest of faith. May we be kept " steadfast, im- 
movable, always abounding in the work of the 

Lord !" 

3 



34 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

January nth. O, how fully is my soul 
proving, " There remaineth therefore a rest to 
the people of God," and "we which have believed 
do enter into rest !" 

The land of Beulah is no longer in the dis- 
tance, or a land enveloped in mist ; nor is it 
where we catch but occasional glimpses of 
celestial light from a clouded sky ; but it is a 
land from whose clear sky a bright steady light 
shines upon my pathway ; an increasing light, as 
I journey onward, permeating my very being. 
Is not the pathway of the just as the shining 
light, that shineth more and more unto the 
perfect day? Then, why should Christians be 
talking ever of clouds and darkness ? Is it not 
because they have wandered from the pathway 
of the just ? O Thou, who hast called me out 
of darkness into thine own marvelous light, keep 
me ; and, with thine own beams shining upon 
me, may I reflect ever the image of the heavenly ! 
May my experience never be like that of the 
moon in the allegory, who, in an eclipse, com- 
plained to the sun that his rays did not shine 
upon her as usual ; but who, in searching out 
the cause, found that the earth was between 
them ! O, how many such troubled souls at the 
present day ! Go where we will, we find those 
whose complaint is, " I do not as in former days 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 35 

walk in the light of His countenance." * Know 
they not that the rays of the Sun of Righteous- 
ness are as warm and bright as ever, but the 
earth is between them and Christ ? 

January 14th. My soul has been much 
drawn out in prayer, of late, for closer com- 
munion with my Savior. Faith, hope, and love, 
all unite in saying, "I would see Jesus!" 

" O, for a glimpse of him my soul adores ! 
As the chased hart, amid the desert waste, 
Pants for the living stream : for Him who made her, 
So pants the thirsty soul, amid the blank 
Of sublunary joys." 

O, the insufficiency of earthly things to satisfy 
the wants of the soul ! Far beneath immortal 
minds are mortal pleasures. These longings for 
things more exalted — for higher, holier joys than 
earth can give — what are they ? by whom given ? 
when shall they be satisfied ? Immortality, 
thou canst answer ! In thee shall the highest 
aspirations be realized. 

Knowing that these yearnings of soul were 
not given to mock, a Job, amid the fiery furnace, 
could hold still, while faith, looking through ages 
yet to come, exclaimed, " I know that my Re- 
deemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the 
latter day upon the earth ;" and, " Whom I shall 



36 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

see for* myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and 
not another ; though my reins be consumed 
within me." Nor are these yearnings for this 
fullness of joy, here, in vain. " For he satis- 
fieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry 
soul with goodness." 

Feel that these breathings of soul after God, 
the living God, these desires to know more of 
Christ, have not been in vain. But O, I need a 
fresh anointing, a new baptism of the Holy 
Ghost ! I must have it for the further estab- 
lishment of my faith, and, above all, to fit me to 
labor more efficiently for the salvation of per- 
ishing souls. Have been permitted of late to 
see some precious ones gathered into the fold 
of Christ. 

March 30///. The prayer for a new baptism 
has been answered. Last Thursday evening, 
while met with the people of God, with them 
awaiting the promise of the Father, I was 
blessed in a more powerful manner than ever 
before. ' Many others shared in this glorious 
baptism of the Holy Ghost. The meeting con- 
tinued until near twelve. As Paul and Silas 
sang praises at midnight, so did we on that 
memorable night. If that were but a foretaste, 
what must the fountain be ! 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 37 

Truly, some of us felt that these frail bodies 
could bear no more, and live ; but the language 
of our hearts was : 

" O, would He more of heaven bestow ; 
And when the vessels break, 
Let our triumphant spirits go, 
To grasp the God we seek !" 

April 23d. " For whatsoever is born of God 
overcometh the world : and this is the victory 
that overcometh the world, even our faith!' Sa- 
tan hath desired to have me, that he might "sift 
me as wheat ;" but One stronger hath said, " I 
have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not." My 
all of strength was gone, but with the God-man 
I have prevailed. To him be glory ! 

For nearly a week past, have been proving 
the^trial of my faith precious. Last evening, the 
contest seemed at its height, the adversary ac- 
cusing me of having lost, or having never re- 
ceived, the blessing of " perfect love." Several 
days had been spent in fasting and prayer ; but, 
seemingly, no advantage had been gained ; and 
I resolved fully to commit my cause to the 
Conqueror, counting it " all joy" that I had 
fallen "into divers temptations; knowing that 
the trial of my faith would work patience," and 
that, if "patience had her perfect work," I, 



38 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

according to the promise, should be "perfect and 
entire, wanting nothing." 

All around were locked in the embrace of 
sleep, the hour being late ; and I took up my 
Bible, and opened to these words : " Wherefore 
I pray you to take some meat ; for this is for 
your health : for there shall not a hair fall from 
the head of any of you." I immediately sup- 
plied the wants of the body, weak from continued 
fasting, and retired to rest ; and was soon in a 
sweet sleep, and thought myself in the midst 
of a congregated world, all moved by some 
intense excitement. Some were in great con- 
sternation and fear, with anguish and remorse 
of mind depicted upon their countenances ; 
others were calm and joyous. Wondering at the 
cause of all this, I looked in the direction in 

which the attention of all seemed riveted — the 

i 

north-east — and beheld above the clouds the 
most beautiful light, beggaring all description — - m 
for earth has none such — which seemed to be 
encircling a city radiant with the glory within. 

I watched it as it descended toward earth, at 
times lost in its own wondrous light, and thought 
of the description given by an inspired apostle : 
" And the city had no need of the sun, neither 
of the moon, to shine in it ; for the glory of 
God did lighten it, and the Lamb is the light 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 39 

thereof. And the nations of them which are 
saved shall walk in the light of it : and the 
kings of the earth do bring their glory and 
honor into it ;" and exclaimed, in an ecstasy of 
joy, "It is the New Jerusalem, coming down 
from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride 
adorned for her husband !" while to me a voice 
from the city sweetly said, "Him that overcom- 
eth will I make a pillar in the temple of my 
God, and he shall go no more out;" and, "He 
that overeometh shall inherit all things." 

I quickly cast a glance upon my own gar- 
ments, to see if I was ready to enter so pure a 
place, but could find no spots, while I exclaimed: 

" O love, thou bottomless abyss ! 

My sins are swallowed up in thee ; 
Covered is my unrighteousness, 

Nor spot of guilt remains on me : 
While Jesus' blood, through earth and skies, 
Mercy, free, boundless mercy, cries ;" 

and with this awoke, but so filled with the pres- 
ence of the Triune God as to be unable to sleep 
any more during the night. Heaven seemed so 
near ; and, with an assurance unknown before, I 
can say, "The tabernacle of God is with men." 
To-day, my soul is inexpressibly happy. 

" By faith we already behold 
That lovely Jerusalem here ; 



40 



SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 



Her walls are of jasper and gold ; 

As crystal, her buildings are clear. 
Immovably founded in grace, 

She stands as she ever hath stood ; 
And brightly her Builder displays, 

And flames with the glory of God." 



CHAPTER II. 




UNE 29TH. Have just been permitted 
to attend our district camp-meeting, at 
Quincy. Went with shrinkings of flesh, 
in view of crosses I felt would be mine to bear — 
crosses unusual, for at such gatherings I had 
hitherto been silent — yet with intense breathings 
of soul after God, and earnest desire and prayer 
for the welfare of our beloved Zion. 

It was indeed a bethel to many souls. Some 
from our class, who had apparently opposed the 
spreading work of holiness in our midst, were 
brought low, and the Lord helped them. New 
witnesses were raised up of the efficacy of the 
blood of Christ to cleanse from the remains of 
the carnal mind. My triumphant soul exclaimed, 
as I looked upon the gracious work, " This is 
the Lord's doing, and it is marvelous in our 
eyes." To him be all the glory ! 

The Lord helped me to rise above my natural 

41 



42 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

timidity, and, as never before, to glory in the 
cross of Christ. I fully realized there is work 
for each to do. The fields already white to har- 
vest, and the laborers so few ! So many idlers ; 
and yet work adapted to the strength of each ! 
If we ean not be a reaper, then a gleaner ; if 
not a gleaner, there are child-errands to do. No 
one can say, " No man hath hired me." The 
command has been given, "Go ye also into the 
vineyard ; and whatsoever is right, I will give 
you." ■ That inactivity is not for the disciples of 
the lowly Nazarene, we are constantly admon- 
ished, from the time of a " I am slow of speech," 
contending with " I AM hath sent thee," to " Be- 
hold, I send you forth as sheep among wolves ;" 
"As the Father hath sent me, even so send I 
you." But with these commands we hear ever 
the voice of the Master, " Lo, I am with you 
alway." 

" The glorious privilege, to DO, 
Is man's most noble dower." 

One day, at this long-to-be-remembered meet- 
ing:, I had been absent from our tent most of 
the day, doing what little I could for the cause 
of Christ, leaving the care of our little Ella, not 
yet three years of age, to others, and so intent 
was my soul in its work that for the time she 
was forgotten ; when suddenly the tempter, ever 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 43 

ready, insinuated that in my anxiety for others I 
was neglecting my own work ; that my first care 
should be for my own. I immediately hastened 
to the tent, and, as she met me at its door, in- 
quired of her, in a playful manner, " Who is 
your keeper ?" Her ready answer, in childish 
accents, of, " The Lord is my keeper!" assured 
my heart that I was to 

" Fix on His work my steadfast eye, 
So should my work be done." 

O, as I journey onward in the path of obedi- 
ence, I see more and more of the simple way of 
faith. How ready is our great Teacher to teach 
us, when we are but willing to lay aside our 
own wisdom and be taught ! 

June 1, 1862. A long time has passed since 
any record has here been made of the dealings 
of an ever-kind Heavenly Father w T ith my soul. 
But upon memory's tablet are its scenes, both 
of trial and gladness, engraved. 

O, it is wise to talk with our past hours, and 
ask them what report they have borne to heaven, 
what record have they made in eternity ? With 
confidence I look up, knowing that my treasures 
are accumulating in the better land. Earthly 
honors, pleasures, and emulations have lost their 



44 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

power to woo this heart. These are 'mid the 
darkness of the past. 

" There is my house and portion fair ; 
My treasure and my heart are there, 
And my abiding home." 

Have, during these two years, been brought 
very near death's door. But, while "to live is 
Christ," to die "is gain." The sting of death, 
which is sin — death has no sting beside — through 
my Conquering King, was all removed ; while, 
with faith's clear vision, I looked beyond the 
tide. O, there were beauties just over the river! 
There, living waters were flowing, palms of 
glory waving, raiment white decking the saints ! 
There my soul would no more have known the 
exile's thirst. But my crown ! Too few were 
its srars ! arid again I have been permitted, 
with renewed courage, to take my cross. 

" Once again beside the cross, 
All my gain I count but loss ; 
Earthly pleasures fade away, 
Clouds they are that hide my day. 
Hence, vain shadows ; let me see 
Jesus crucified for me." 

But death has entered our family circle, bear- 
ing away one ripe for the better land. Mother 
Page is no more. For over a year, she seemed 
to mortal eye standing upon the verge of Jordan, 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 45 

brushing with her feet its heavy dews. But, 
amid great suffering, she could say : 

" My cheerful soul now, all the day, 

Sits waiting here, and sings ; 
Looks through the ruin of her clay, 

And practices her wings. 
Faith almost changes into sight, 

While from afar she spies 
Her fair inheritance in light, 

Above created skies." 

For many years, she went in and out before 
us, exemplifying by precept and example the 
power of our holy Christianity ; and, when 
brought low by the hand of disease, with confi- 
dence could say : " I know whom I have be- 
lieved ;" " I know that my Redeemer liveth." 
In her own words, the veil seemed oft parted 
while in blissful anticipation she looked upon 
the joys of the redeemed. She rests from her 
labors, and her works do follow her. We '11 
meet thee, mother, where sorrow and suffering 
are unknown. 

July 16th. Have felt, of late, very much 
interested in the spiritual welfare of the mem- 
bers of my Bible-class. A short time since, the 
duty of appointing a weekly meeting for their 
benefit was presented to my mind. 

My heart has been much drawn out in prayer 



46 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

since its appointment, that, if this were of the 
Lord, our first meeting might be specially fa- 
vored with the Divine presence. Eight young 
ladies were present, all but one professors, and 
her we were permitted to carry to the Father as 
an earnest seeker of the " pearl of great price.'' 
All took a part in the exercises; though it was 
with trembling, I called upon some to pray, as I 
had never heard their voices in our social meet- 
ings. Some with tears spoke of their unfaithful- 
ness and desire for a deeper work of grace. May 
the good Shepherd bless these lambs of his fold, 
and lead them nearer to himself! O, for grace 
and wisdom from above to enable me to say to 
these, "Follow me even as I follow Christ!" I 
greatly desire that by experience they may know 
of the blessedness of forsaking all for Christ. 
Read to them to-day, from Mrs. Palmers " Entire 
Devotion," of the happy life and triumphant death 
of one who had thus in early life counted the cost 
of coming out from the world and being separate.. 
O, that there was more holy living among those 
who have been long in the way ! With how much 
greater success could we then. point the young 
convert to the "fountain opened in the house of 
David and to the inhabitants of Jerusalem, for sin 
and uncleanness." But God be praised that 
there are many living members in his Church — 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 47 

" polished stones/' who reflect the image of Christ. 
May the number be greatly increased ! 

August 1st. Have been struggling, for some 
time past, with the powers of darkness. How 
true that we " wrestle not against flesh and blood," 
but " against principalities, against powers, against 
the rulers of the darkness of this world, against 
spiritual wickedness in high places." But the 
Word. of the Lord is my strong tower: "A bruised 
reed shall he not break and smoking flax shall he 
not quench, till he send forth judgment unto vic- 
tory." Have not, for some time past, felt as clear 
a sense of constant abiding in Christ as I believe 
to be my privilege. Am humbled in the dust in 
view of my own nothingness. 

" I loathe myself when God I see, 
And into nothing fall ; 
Content if thou exalted be, 
And Christ be all in all." 

O, I must be more like Christ ! The baptism 
of the Holy Spirit — for this my soul looks up ! 
I thirst ! Spring up, O well, I ever cry, spring up 
within this soul ! O, wash me, and I shall be 
u whiter than snow!" Nothing less than thine 
own nature can satisfy. Give me thyself! Had 
I all things else, without thee I were a wretch 
undone. " Without faith, it is impossible to please 



48 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

God." "Abraham believed God, and it was 
counted unto him for righteousness. " " The just 
shall live by faith." Passages like these are 
much on my mind. Feel a consciousness of be- 
ing led by the Spirit of God : " For as many as 
are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of 
God." Yes, I am thy child ! Thou — O joy ! — 
art my Father! 

" In hope believing against hope, 
Jesus, my Lord, my God, I claim." 

August 2>oth. Have been permitted, during 
this month, to meet God's people in the tented 
grove, in Albion District. O, consecrated ground ! 
Delightful place where God meets his chosen Is- 
rael ! Have been consciously brought into closer 
union and communion with Him whom my soul 
loveth. 

"O, in the secret of His presence dwelleth 
Fullness of joy, forever and forever !" 

Yet shades of sorrow seem falling about my 
pathway. "Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing!" 
Storms. of wrath are shaking our nation. Sacri- 
fices of blood are being lain upon our altars. To 
human sight the future is enshrouded in darkness 
and mystery. Can I say, welcome alike the crown 
or cross ? This morning took up, for comfort, the 
ever-blessed Word. My eye rested upon, " Ye 
shall drink indeed of my cup, and be baptized 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 49 

with the baptism that I am baptized with." What 
means it ? Is it to be sorrow, that 

" Shall build the shining ladder up, 
"Whose golden rounds are our calamities, 
Whereon our firm feet planting; nearer God 
The spirit climbs ; and hath its eyes unsealed ?" 

January 2Jth, 1863. Strange have been the 
scenes and trials through which I have passed 
during the last few months. On the sixteenth of 
December, ult., feeling that God called for the 
sacrifice, my companion enlisted in the service of 
his country. Long have we felt that true freedom 
was not alone to break 

11 Fetters for our own dear sake, 
And, with leathern hearts, forget 
That we owe mankind a debt." 

And now, when such important results — the 
freedom of our land from traitors, the breaking 
of the tyrant's chain, and the proclaiming of 
liberty to the captive — were at stake, I could not 
selfishly say, " Stay!" Oft in the past, when 
gathered in our happy family group, from our 
consecrated altar has ascended the fervent prayer, 
" Let the oppressed go freer And now I dare 
not refuse my offering to the onward march of 
liberty, even though that march be through seas 
of blood. 

" God moves in a mysterious way, 
His wonders to perform." 
4 



50 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

Thou, who makes t even the wrath of man 
to praise thee, and who hath promised that not a 
sparrow shall fall to the ground without our 
Father, to thee I look ! O, thou shadow of a 
great rock in a weary land, be thou my hiding- 
place ; and, although 

" Pain's furnace-heat within me quivers, 

God's breath upon the flames doth blow, 
And all my heart in anguish shivers, 
And trembles at the fiery glow," — 

yet O, help me calmly to whisper, " God's will 
be done !" 

"And in his hottest fire hold still !" 

Thank God ! I have left me the calm, safe, 
and sure retreat beneath the mercy-seat. Never 
before did I so realize the power of prayer to 
calm the troubled heart. Blessed assurance, 
that we have not an High-priest who can not 
be " touched with the feeling of our infirmities." 

February $tk. We have to-day taken the part- 
ing hand, not knowing when we shall meet again. 
Perhaps never on earth ! How can I bear the 
thought ? O, thou sympathizing Savior, leave me 
not ! Remember I am dust. 

February 22d. My mind seems constantly oc- 
cupied with one thought, "that the regiment in 



EXTRA CTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 5 I 

which my companion is, to-day moves toward the 
scene of strife." Is it true we are to be so far 
separated, and perhaps never meet again until the 
morning of the resurrection ? But hush, O my 
soul ! " Clouds and darkness are round about him ;" 
yet knew I that there is a heaven-side to the 
dark cloud o'ershadowing our beloved country. 
From that side, hidden to mortal vision, comes 
the soothing whisper, u Righteousness and judg- 
ment are the habitation of His throne." 

We shall meet again ; if not on earth, at the 
marriage-supper of the Lamb, and, with the blood- 
washed millions, join in the new song. 

March 22d. The holy Sabbath, sweet emblem 
of eternal rest. Have been permitted to-day to 
sit under the droppings of the sanctuary, and felt 
strengthened to walk the narrow way — the way I 
know I love. From choice, I tread its paths. 
No lion treads it ; no ravenous beast goes up 
thereon ; and, all praise to Him who trod it before 
me, the "vulture's eye" hath not seen it, but on 
it the "ransomed of the Lord shall return, and 
come to Zion with songs and everlasting joy upon 
their heads : they shall obtain joy and gladness, 
and sorrow and sighing shall flee away." 

Storms of wrath are still shaking earth and 
sea. There are cries of " Lo, here !" and " Lo, 



52 SUA'SHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

there!" but onward I'll haste. There is light 
ahead. It gleams from the city of which " glorious 
things are spoken ;" " Beautiful for situation, the 
joy of the whole earth." 

June 29th. Have again been permitted to meet 
God's people on the old camp-ground at Quincy. 
Had here no joyous, ecstatic emotions, but all 
through the meeting seemed before me in legible 
characters, " The jitst shall live by faith !" Upon 
this I rested satisfied. It seemed at the time 
that if all else of the Word of God were forever 
blotted out, with this I could still journey onward, 
even though my onward march be alone, through 
storm after storm. This morning I awoke, very 
happy in God. In my night visions, I thought 
myself with a dear Christian friend in a lonely 
wood, unweariedly journeying onward, when un- 
expectedly we came upon a deep thicket of thorns. 
Suddenly my friend disappeared, and I next saw 
her upon the other side beyond the hedge, in a 
most lovely place, where were shady trees, green 
pastures, rivers of clear water, singing birds, and 
every thing attractive. With uplifted hands and 
streaming eyes, she was praising God for deliver- 
ing grace, while I was exerting every power to 
extricate myself from the thorns which, turn which 
way I would, were lacerating my flesh and tearing 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 53 

and blackening my dress of clear white. After 
many endeavors, I succeeded in extricating my- 
self from the hedge and reaching my friend. Upon 
examining my garments I found them perfectly 
whole and of a purer white than when I entered 
the thorns. At this we were filled with wonder, 
and together we joined in songs of praise to our 
Deliverer. Father, grant that thus it maybe; 
that from amid the fiery trials of earth I may 
come forth without even the mark or smell of fire 
upon my garments ! 

" To Him mine eye of faith I turn, 

And through the fire pursue my way ; 
The fire forgets its power to burn, 

The lambent flames around me play; 
I own His power, accept the sign, 
And shout to prove the Savior mine." 

This has been a precious day to my soul ; am 
being brought into closer union with Christ- 
The sweet consciousness which I feel of an abid- 
ing in Christ, is inexpressible. The half was never 
told. Would that I could tell the story of re- 
deeming grace and dying love ! Glorious thought, 
that by and by this tongue will be unloosed ! 

" Then in a nobler, sweeter song, . 
I '11 sing Thy power to save." 



CHAPTER III. 




PRIL 27, 1864. Have suffered much 
in mind of late, in reference to my com- 
panion. Scarcely a week passes but that 
the news of some of our friends fallen, reaches us. 
The habiliments of woe are all around us. The 
orphans' tears, the widows' weeds and sighs, the 
mourning for fallen brothers, every-where remind 
us that war and bloodshed are in our land ; yet 
the strife ceaseth not. The great armies are soon 
to move. Hearts, with anguish, are yet to be 
rent in twain. A few nights since, I dreamed 
of attending my clear T.'s funeral. My sorrow 
seemed so great as to unable me to support my- 
self, and I was carried into the church by others. 
In passing through the aisle (the congregation 
were all seated before I entered the house), among 
the group of mourners I discovered Mother P. 
She had a countenance unearthly in all respects. 
Such perfect calmness and holy joy I never saw 
54 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 55 

upon the face of mortal. Her dress was of pure 
white. I gazed upon her, and wondered how 
she could be so unmoved — and my anguish 
so great ! 

I heard nothing of the sermon ; but at its 
close a group of white negroes, also clad in 
snow-white garments, more lovely than earth 
can boast — though I knew them to be of the 
despised race — came, and, standing before me, 
commenced singing. The words (there were a 
number of verses) I heard distinctly. It seemed 
to be not the composition of earth, excepting 
the chorus, which was : 

" There is sweet rest, sister, for thee in heaven." 

The music I will not attempt to describe. Earth 
has no words in which to speak of it. As they 
saner verse after verse, I commenced shouting — 
first in a whisper; then, rising higher and 
higher — " Glory to God !" until I awoke with 
the thought, " I am shouting at my husband's 
funeral." 

May nth. All around is quietness. The 
hour is late, yet I can not sleep. The armies 
have met. Thousands have fallen. No letter 
yet ! This morning awoke, repeating : 

" My lifted eye, without a tear, 
The gath'ring storm shall see; 



$6 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

My steadfast heart shall know no fear; 
That heart will rest on Thee." 

Never before was I so lifted above earth. 
This afternoon, Rev. H, Law called. Had a 
season of prayer. Brother Law prayed much 
for dear husband. Said, in his prayer, " Lord, 
we give him to his country." I could not re- 
spond or pray, only continue silently to repeat : 

" My lifted eye, without a tear." 

So completely, this day, have I been lifted 
above the world and its sorrows, that it has 
seemed that if at any moment the news should 
come, " Truman is fallen/' it would not have 
moved me from my perfect calmness and rest of 
soul. This evening, tried to pray, as usual, for 
his safety and return to the embrace of his 
family, but could not. My only prayer was, 
that if he were suffering in the land of the 
enemy, the Lord would raise up some one to 
care for him. Long the struggle continued, 
until it was said, " Thy prayer is heard. " 

July 10th. Again I take my pen. But O, 
where shall I begin, or with what words shall I 
record the scenes through which I have passed 
of late? 

Eighteen months since, and ours was a happy, 
unbroken family circle. Can it be that now I 



EXTRA CTS FR OM EXPERIENCE. 5 7 

am left to write, "My children fatherless, 
and I A widow?" But I no longer pray, " Let 
this cup pass from me !" I drink it, and know 
it is well ; for my Father's hand, though unseen, 
prepared it. 

For eighteen months have we watched anx- 
iously, amid our country's night, for the breaking 
of the morning when, the war ended, husband 
and father would be again safe at home. That 
will never come ! What do I write ? Ah, yes : 
it has come ! He is safe at home ; and 
through my tears I still look forward to a 
brighter, more glorious morning than ever 
dawned upon this sorrow-stricken earth, that 
shall give me back the not lost, but gone before. 

11 O, heaven is where no secret dread 

May haunt love's meeting hour ; 
Where from the past no gloom is shed 

O'er the heart's chosen bower ; 
Where every severed wreath is bound, 

And none have heard the knell 
That smites the soul in that wild sound : 

Farewell, belov'd, farewell." 

On the twenty-third of May, in reference to 
that dear one, came these few words, " Mortally 

WOUNDED ON THE ELEVENTH." Ah ! who that 

hath not felt it, knoweth the anguish hidden 
in those two words ? Then, a few days after, 
written by a friend and companion at his side: 



58 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

" I was the first to reach your husband after he 
fell. I found him suffering intensely ; spoke of 
moving him off the field. He replied, ' No; let 
me die on the field of battle;' then looked up, 
and, with joy and animation unspeakable beam- 
ing in his countenance, added: 'O Sergeant, you 
do nt knoiv Jwzv happy I am ! Tell Emily not 
to mourn for Truman ; for it is all right. I 
die happy.' " 

This was while making a rapid raid on the 
enemy's ground, and he, with others, had to be 
left ; left dying — never to be heard from more, 
as the wound was known to be mortal. Friends, 
brothers in Christ and companions in arms, 
gathered around and hastily took the parting 
hand, speaking with regret of leaving him thus. 
He replied, "It is no matter; we shall soon meet 
in heaven." 

The little left to do for the dead has 
been done. In a changed world, we made 
preparations for the funeral services; and gath- 
ered in our village church, where we had long 
worshiped together, and at whose altar he gave 
his heart to God. And as our loved pastor — 
Rev. H. Law — with tearful eye and choked ut- 
terance, read for the text, " There the wicked 
cease from troubling and the weary are at rest ;" 
and the choir sang, " Let me die on the field of 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 59 

battle," from the " Guide to Holiness," which 
he had loved at home and in the army, and 
" There's a light in the window for thee, sister;" 
we felt that there were angels hovering round us, 

" Unperceived amid the throng;" 

and though, perhaps, some saw but the sad 
funeral tapers, we caught glimpses of heaven's 
distant lamps. 

" Over the river they beckoned to me, 

Loved ones who had crossed to the further side; 
The gleam of their snowy robes I could see, 
But their voices were lost in the dashing tide." 

Ah, Truman ! Thou art 'mid the shining 
throng ; I amid the sorrowing ! Thy life-borne 
cross hath carried thee beyond the reach of 
change and suffering ! Beyond the stormy bat- 
tle-field, thou art triumphing now! The " star- 
spangled banner" thou didst love ; but with 
thee, ever placed just above the " glorious stars 
and stripes," was the standard of the cross, with 
the Christian's motto, " Victory through the 
blood of the Lamb !" That victory thou 
hast gained. O, what a change ! From the 
battle-field, after days of weary marching, into 
the presence of God, to behold his glory! Thy 
far-off grave, in lands unknown, I may never 
visit, there to weep ; but that glorious clay, of 



60 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

which thy pen, in thy last missive to the absent, 
spake, "when Christ shall come to make up his 
jewels," will soon come ; then thy grave will be 
found by him who watches all thy dust until he 
shall bid it rise and put on immortality! Until 
then I wait ; wait, watching for the morning 
when the dead shall wake. 

August Qtk. Another month of sadness. The 
storms of earth are passing, wafting my little 
bark nearer and nearer the haven of eternal rest. 

Since writing last, have received intelligence, 
by open letter from Richmond, that my husband 
was taken prisoner, carried to R., lived seven 
days, and then passed away, with the dying 
message on his lips, "Tell my family to 
meet me in heaven<;" and thitherward I 'm 
journeying. 

"Thou knowest, in the spirit of prayer, 
We long thy appearing to see ; 
Resigned to the burden we bear, 
But longing to triumph with thee." 

Our national affairs are growing darker and 
darker. The protracted dry weather in many 
parts seems threatening our land with famine. 
But "our Father's at the helm." Faith 
catches glimpses of light in the distance. "The 
Lord reigneth ; let the earth rejoice." " He that 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 6 1 

dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High 
shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." 
"God is our refuge and strength, a very present 
help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, 
though the earth be removed, and though the 
mountains be carried into the midst of the sea ; 
though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, 
though the mountains shake with the swelling 
thereof." 

Have been blessed with many comforts of 
late — fellowship with kindred minds, and mes- 
sages of Christian sympathy from friends highly 
esteemed. Among these was a deeply interest- 
ing letter from Rev. J. Boynton, of Manistee 
District. He had just read the notice of my 
dear husband's death, and hastened to comfort 
me ; and well did he perform his mission. He 
speaks of him as not being slain, but as only 
having departed this life tp be with Christ, 
which is far better ; says, when I think of him I 
need not think of his coffin, his winding-sheet, 
or his grave, but as a glorified spirit; and that I 
hope very soon to meet that loved one, where 

"The dirge-like sound of parting words 
Shall smite the soul no more." 

Thank Heaven, this consolation is mine ! He 
writes : " I was led to rejoice as the notice of 
the death of brother Page brought you to my 



62 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

mind, as I thought, ' She enjoys full salvation 
through the blood of the Lamb/ " O, how that 
sentence caused deep heart-searching before God ! 
And long after the silence of night had hushed 
all around into quietness, the searching went on. 
When we last met, I could say with confi- 
dence, as he now writes, "My witness is clear ; 
the blood of Christ cleansetli me" but, amid the 
sorrows of the past two years, I should fear to 
say, " In all this I have offended not." Fear 
mine has been too much the sorrow of the 
world, which " worketh death." Yet, God is my 
witness, I have desired his glory above all 
earthly good. But O, the weakness of the flesh ! 
God help me, now and forever, to renounce all 
strength but strength Divine ! O, I gain noth- 
ing by this looking at self! Compassionate Re- 
deemer, I lift mine eye to thee ! Thou liftest 
the mourner from, the dust. O, satisfy the long- 
ings of this tempest-tossed soul, and make me 
more like thyself! I want the witness that all I 
do, all I say, and all I feel, meets the Divine 
approval. I ask no higher state than this. 'T is 
enough. 

11 Lord, shall the breathings of my heart 
Aspire in vain to thee ?" 

No ! no ! Thou wilt perform in me the 
promise of thy Son. 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 63 

October 2d. The blessings of the sanctuary 
have to-day been most precious to my soul. 
" One thing have I desired of the Lord, that 
will I seek after ; that I may dwell in the house 
of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold 
the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his 
temple. For in the time of trouble he shall 
hide me in his pavilion : in the secret of his 
tabernacle shall he hide me : he shall set me up 
upon a rock." 

Nearly five months since, the body of my 
husband was laid by the hand of the enemy be- 
neath a Southern soil. But it is a Christian's 
grave ; and, borne on the breeze wafted from that 
Southern clime, comes a gentle whisper, " Not 
here, but risen ; tell my family to meet me in 
heaven." 

A friend, who is alike passing through the 
furnace, a few days since handed me the follow- 
ing lines, to us so expressive : 

11 O, mourning one, watching 'mid our country's night, 
For footsteps which come not ; O, look to the light ! 
On distant and bloody fields, piled with the slain, 
They sleep, who were folded within thy heart's fane. 
Above their damp pillow thou never may'st weep, 
No tear-drop shall waken the hero's last sleep, 
Yet mourn not. The angels, from climes of the blest, 
With pitying footfall, are guarding their rest: 
And, though the storm howleth, and wint'ry winds rave 
Through snowy veil, there is light on the grave ; 



64 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS, 

For soft as the angels tread on the dark sod, 

There lingers a radiance which brightens the clod. 

Deep sorrow has shrouded the sun's joyous light; 

No pitying Luna steps into thy night ; 

Yet on the dark curtain of thy troubled skies 

Stands a little star-promise, 'thy husband shall rise !' " 

Upon that star the eye of faith is fixed. It 
shines with a steady lustrous light. With this 
above it, the grave has lost its gloom. " O death ! 
where is thy sting ? O grave ! where is thy 
victory ?" 

My heart loses none of its sadness, yet I be- 
lievingly read, " Blessed are they that mourn ;" 
" For our light affliction which is but for a mo- 
ment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and 
eternal weight of glory !" I am kept from all my 
fears, and my lonely home is cheered by the pres- 
ence of the Unseen, and oft becomes a bethel to 
my soul. O, the victories of the Cross of Christ ! 

"A sovereign balm for every wound ; 
A cordial for our fears." 

January 20, 1865. Time is hastening on. 
Our life is even " a vapor, that appeareth for a 
little time, and then vanisheth away." 

" No matter which my thoughts employ, 
A moment's misery or joy ; 

But O, when both shall end, 
Where shall I find my destined place ? 
Shall I my everlasting days 
With fiends or angels spend ?" 



EXTRA CTS FR OM EXPERIENCE. 6 5 

J. S., a prisoner from Richmond and Ander- 
sonvilie, a former friend of my companion, and a 
resident of our place, has returned, bringing the 
further particulars of the death of my husband. 

O, how clearly do I see in him the answer of 
the prayer of that ever-to-be-remembered day, 
May ii, 1864 — a friend raised up in the land of 
a cruel enemy, in direct answer to prayer, to care 
for the wants of a dying Christian soldier! God 
be praised ! Tears of gratitude, of thanksgiving 
and praise to our Father in heaven, whose special 
providence is over his own, course down my 
cheeks. After the regiment left, my companion 
revived ; the next day, was taken prisoner, and 
carried to Richmond. J. S., being there a prisoner, 
was detailed for service in the hospital of our men, 
and was called upon to assist in carrying him 
from the ambulance, in which he was brought to 
Richmond, to his bed. In going up the second 
flight of stairs my husband recognized him, 
reached out to him his hand, calling him by 
name. From that moment, J. S. stood by him as 
a brother, doing all in his power to alleviate his 
sufferings during the six days he tarried upon 
earth. Of him, he says : " He never once, amid his 
pain and suffering, spoke of it, but was almost con- 
tinually, during waking moments, giving vent to 
the joy within in praises to God ; and, when dying, 

5 



66 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

took the weeping soldiers around him — sufferers 
together in the land of the enemy — separately 
by the hand, and mingled with thanks for their 
kindness to him exhortations to meet him in 
heaven ; and when the tongue became palsied 
and silent in death, he raised himself on his 
couch, and, with both hands pointed upward, sank 
back, and slept in Jesus ! And though no 
earthly companion, father, mother, brother or sis- 
ter was there to smooth that dying pillow, again 
was proved, as it has been on so many a battle- 
field, in hospitals and loathsome prisons, that 

* Jesus can make a dying bed 

Feel soft as downy pillows are, 
While on his breast we lean our head, 
And breathe our life out sweetly there.' " 

-Death was once again despoiled of its sting 
and the grave of its victory ; and, though long 
accustomed to look upon the dreariness of the 
rebel prison and hospital as without equal, I can 
only now think of it as one of the bright spots of 
earth, where the spirit of my dear one passed up 
to the realms of day. O no: to hint there was 
no gloom there. 

"Glory had chased away the gloom, 
For Christ had conquered there." 

Long I watched for the coming of his foot- 
steps here. I wait and watch no longer. Two, 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE, 67 

of such of whom the Savior said, " Suffer" them, 
"and forbid them not, to come unto me," have 
ceased to ask, " When will papa come ?" but 
up yonder, in our Father's mansion, where there 
is plenty of light, he waits and watches for us ; 
and, with my eye steadily fixed upon the eternal 
Word, "The just shall live by faith," I press for- 
ward. Mine eyes shall yet see " Jerusalem a 
quiet habitation, a tabernacle that shall not be 
taken down ; not one of the stakes thereof shall 
ever be removed, neither shall any of the cords 
thereof be broken." J. S. is earnestly seeking 
the salvation of his soul. Is a young man of 
much promise. Dates his convictions to that 
happy death-bed scene in a Richmond hospital. 
Ah, dear T. ! brighter stars than ever decked the 
brow of an earthly conqueror are thine. 

April 10th. Memorable evening! O, what 
joy is in our land.! While I write, cannons are 
being fired ; in every direction bells are mingling 
in wild harmony with the grandeur of the scene. 
" The war ended !" is the cry. Lee has surren- 
dered. Notes of victory every-where are heard ; 
and why seek I the seclusion of my room ? O, 
why can not I, too, mingle with the joyous throng ? 
His battle's fought; the victory he hath won. 
Looketh not that one down from glory upon this 



68 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

scene ? And though he cometh not with the greet- 
ing so long looked for ; though, while hearts 
to-night beat high with the joy within, mine in 
sadness lingereth at a far-off grave, where lieth 
but dust, — shall I not join in the anthem upon the 
air, " Rejoice ! he hath done all things 
well ?" O Father ! to thee I lift my tearful 
eye and heart of anguish. Are not the tears of 
the widows and orphans of our land shed to-night, 
bottled up? Cry they not unto thee? "And 
shall not God avenge his own elect which cry day 
and night unto him, though he bear long with 
them ?" I hear the answer : " Shall not the Judge 
of all the earth do right ?" Thy purposes are 
already ripening. -O, how they have been unfold- 
ing to our astonished nation during these years of 
bloodshed and sufferings ! In my sorrows I see the 
hand of God. Complete the purposes of thy will. 

September $d. A long time has passed, and 
nothing has been written of the precious dealings 
of God with me. Time has been so fully occu- 
pied as to leave but little opportunity for pursuits 
most loved and prized ; but is not this discipline 
of mind needed ? I joyfully yield what most I 
prize, to Him, 

" Who never has a good withheld, 
Or will withhold from me." 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 69 

My mind is being kept in uninterrupted peace. 
How rich the legacy, " Peace I leave with you ; 
my peace I give unto you ; not as the world 
giveth give I unto you !" " Let not your heart be 
troubled, neither let it be afraid." Here I rest. I 
know not the future ; can not see to take one 
step ; but with confidence I look up, and say, 
" Father, I am blind ; lead me !" 

Was permitted, last month, to rest for a few 
days from my arduous school duties and attend 
the Quincy Camp-meeting. Went, feeling that 
it would be but to suffer ; so much to bring re- 
membrances of the past, when one sang with us 
the songs of Zion in that consecrated grove, 
whose place on earth is now forever vacant, who 
now sings the song of the redeemed with the 
multitude around the Throne. But I would here 
record to the glory of God's grace, that that grace* 
wonderfully triumphed. Earth no longer fetter- 
ing the soul, faith in the Unseen brought us near 
"unto Mount Sion, and unto the city of the liv- 
ing God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to an innu- 
merable company of angels, to the general assem- 
bly and Church of the first-born, which are written 
in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the 
spirits of just men made perfect ; and to Jesus, 
the mediator of the new covenant; and to the 
blood of sprinkling ;" and looking away from the 



70 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

far-off graves of buried friends, we beheld in this 
Mediator the connecting ladder betwixt earth 
and heaven : 

" Ah ! metbinks there is a union, 

There are ties which heavenward draw; 
Faith reveals, in clearest vision, 
Just the ladder Jacob saw;" 

and on its golden rounds we climb, until 

" By faith we join our hands 

With those that went before ; 
And greet the blood besprinkled bands 
On the eternal shore." 

Was this all imagination, but an idle chimera 
of the brain, that made our communion with the 
heavenly throng so precious in that leafy temple? 

And God be praised that here also, in walking 
forward in the path of obedience, my soul found 
the perfect rest it so much desired ! Glory to 
God above ! The waters, so long overwhelming 
my soul, are ceasing. The swift-returning dove 
is bringing home signs of peace. He hath "re- 
moved me out of a strait into a broad place, 
where there is no straitness." The Spirit made 
so clear to me what was lacking on my part : 
that, " with the heart man believeth unto right- 
eousness ; and with the mouth confession is 
made unto salvation. " For some time past, my 
witness not being clear, I have been careful not 
to speak definitely of the work accomplished in 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. ?l 

the soul ; but, in an unlooked-for manner, was 
brought ^ut of my lurking-place. 

I stood, on the second day of the meeting, 
amid a group who were earnestly discussing the 
subject of full salvation. I had been a silent 
listener, when, unexpectedly, a brother turned to 
me with the interrogation, " Sister Page, do you 
enjoy the blessing of perfect love ?" 

For a moment I was silent ; but felt that to 
say no would greatly dishonor my Savior ; and, 
casting myself anew upon the atoning blood, 
tremblingly replied, " I would not dare say I do 
not; I am daring to reckon myself ' dead indeed 
unto sin, but alive unto God, through Jesus 
Christ our Lord.' M 

From that moment, no doubts were mine. 
Power, beyond that hitherto possessed, was given 
to labor in the vineyord, to help those desiring 
to find the way of holiness ; so that I seemed 
continually a wonder to myself. 

O, the blessedness of this "highway!" I love 
of late to call it the path of obedience — a con- 
stant walking, simply in "the light." This to me 
so fully expresses it. The light may be feeble 
at first ; but a moving forward brings the 
increase. 

" Walk in the light ; and thou shalt own 
Thy darkness passed away, 



72 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

Because that light hath on thee shone, 
In which is perfect day." 

"If we walk in the light as he is in the 
light, we have fellowship one with another ; and 
the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us 
from all sin ;" not hath cleansed, or will cleanse, 
but cleanseth. 

THE TRIAL AND VICTORY. 

The last night of this meeting had come ; 
and, from the victories already achieved in the 
name of our Conquering King, glorious results 
were expected. It being stormy, we gathered 
in a large tent prepared for the occasion ; but 
Eternal Wisdom, who seeth not as man seeth, 
chose that by the trial of our faith glory 
should come unto his name. The first of the 
evening was spent in listening to an earnest 
sermon from one who during the meeting had 
entered the rest of faith ; but a darkness that 
could be felt seemed to settle upon the speaker 
and congregation. 

At its close, a prayer-meeting was com- 
menced ; but spiritual power was lacking, and 
many of us felt that help must speedily come 
from God, or the last night of our meeting 
would be a failure, when we had asked for and 
expected triumph through Israel's Redeemer. 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 73 

Our soul was unusually burdened ; and so 
great were the temptations of the adversary that, 
had we dared, we should have left the tent. 

Opportunity was given for speaking; but' the 
darkness seemed but to increase. 

We arose simply to frustrate the designs of 
the tempter in our case, and, while every word 
seemed withstood by the powers of darkness, 
repeated in strong language our consecration 
vows, saying, notwithstanding his insinuations, 
"From this moment, we live or die to serve 
our God alone ;" and sat down with our burden 
but increased, until it seemed the frail body 
could endure no more. 

Entering into a silent struggle of prayer for 
victory to come to our tent, we were lost to all 
around, until our own voice, crying aloud for 
victory, was heard above the silence that had 
fallen upon us. Moved as never before, and 
greatly to our humiliation, we exhorted those 
around us who had the meeting in charge to 
hold on to the promises of God by faith, and 
victory would be ours. Here the adversary 
endeavored to close our mouth by the interroga- 
tion, "What will your friends think of you?" I 
felt they would be greatly tried, and in agony 
of soul cried out, " Let me sink into the dust, 
but let God be glorified !" and, but for the 



74 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

support of friends, would have fallen to the 
ground. At that moment the Lord took the 
work into his own hands, and glorious were the 
victories of that night. 

Person after person, by name, was presented 
to our mind ; and, calling aloud upon God for 
his blessing, upon them, without exception they 
came and bowed with us, and travailed in soul 
until the baptism of the Holy Ghost fell upon 
them. 

During this, our mind was intently fixed upon 
those whom God had so wonderfully laid upon 
our soul, and upon looking up for the first, what 
was our astonishment and humiliation to find 
the congregation standing, gathered around, and 
looking, some with wonder, upon this unusual 
demonstration ; and among the number a young 
lady in whose salvation we had become prayer- 
fully and intensely interested. As we saw her 
looking upon this, to her, strange scene, the 
adversary tauntingly suggested, " This will drive 
her conviction all away ; you can have no more 
influence over her to lead her to the cross of 
Christ." But what was our joy as, a few mo- 
ments after, she, unsolicited, threw herself upon 
her knees at our side, begging us to pray for 
her ; and then, with strong cries and tears, 
began pleading for salvation, and thus continued 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. J$ 

until the garment of mourning was exchanged 
for that of rejoicing ! 

Cries for God's mercy now arose from every 
part of the tent, strong ones in faith and prayer 
going back and forth amid the congregation, 
pointing the sinner to the " Lamb of God which 
taketh away the sin of the world," and the 
hungry .and thirsty soul to the " open fountain." 

Never before were we so completely hum- 
bled, and never before did we so fully recognize 
the power of God working in the weak "to 
confound the things which are mighty, that no 
flesh should glory in his presence," but in Christ, 
" who of God is made unto us wisdom and 
righteousness and sanctification and redemption." 





CHAPTER IV. 




EPTEMBER i8th. Under the last 
date, the third, I wrote, surrounded with 
precious society and influences, at the 
home of our beloved presiding elder, Rev. R. C. 
Crawford, at Coldwater. The week spent with 
my dear friends, sisters Crawford and Trauger, 
and others at that place, will forever be remem- 
bered as one of the green spots in life's journey. 
How sweet the communion of kindred minds ! 
True it is, "Their fellowship is like to that 
above." Had heaven no other attraction, this 
were sufficient inducement for a pressing for- 
ward. O, how precious these way-side resting- 
places, these soul-communings, to the lone, 
burdened heart ! There is power in words of 
kindness; " apples of gold" are they, "in pictures 
of silver." They make earth more a heaven. 
Father, help me to scatter these wherever I go : 
freely as I have received, freely give ! 
76 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. J 7 

Have seen, of late, great meaning in the 
words of Inspiration : " Behold I have refined 
thee, but not with silver ; I have chosen thee in 
the furnace of affliction ;" and have felt it, as 
one has said, an honor such as the worldly- 
minded comprehendeth not to be thus chosen ; 
to have the dearest, best one of the household 
taken to dwell with Himself. And I have 
thought, in reference to that one watching for 
our coming on the other shore, that perhaps he 
is looking on with interest and joy to the erec- 
tion of our mansion there ; that the overcoming 
of every trial and temptation may add a new 
polished stone to that house made without 
hands, and be another cause for songs of tri- 
umph from that one saved forever from the 
storms of earth. 

The Detroit Conference held its annual ses- 
sion last week. My father, Rev. J. Dobbins, 
has again placed himself on the effective list 
(having been, on account of ill health, superan- 
nuated the past four years), and has received an 
appointment to Waterloo and Franciscoville. 
They will move soon ; and, if the Lord will, I 
shall soon follow them to their field of labor. I 
go from choice — from a desire to be useful. My 
pleasant home and surroundings have strong 
attractions ; but they are nothing compared with 



?8 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

those of our Father's house, where there are 
"many mansions." There I '11 lay up my 
treasures. 

" 'T is hid from view ; but we may guess 
How beautiful that realm may be 
For gleamings of its loveliness 
In visions granted oft we see." 

Time is short : what is done must be done 
quickly. And what matters it whether our head 
be pillowed upon down or stone ? whether we 
travel over rough and thorny ways, or beside 
still waters, in green pastures ? Christ, our 
Anointed, " the same yesterday, to-day, and for- 
ever," hath said, " I will never leave thee nor 
forsake thee." Zion is our secure resting-place. 
All her foes shall be confounded ; and, though 
millions of worlds should combine against her, 
" My people," saith He that sitteth between the 
cherubim, "shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, 
and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting- 
places." And satisfied, with no fear of want, 
drinking of the pure "river of water of life, 
clear as crystal," and eating of the " tree - of 
life," the leaves of which are for the "healing 
of the nations," where He appoints we go, 
glorying in nothing save the cross of Christ. 
And when our work is done, with the now 
Church militant and Church triumphant, which 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE, ?g 

are one, we '11 lay our trophies at his feet. Until 
then, 

" In the desert let me labor, 
On the mountain let me tell 
How he died, the blessed Savior, 
To redeem a world from hell." 



MRS. C. E. M'ALLISTER * 

Have just learned of the death of a dear friend, 
Mrs. C. E. M'Allister, one who, for over twelve 
years, has been a sharer in the joys and sorrows 
of the itinerant life ; of whom it might well be 
said : 

" None knew thee but to love ; 
None named thee but to praise." 

But the tie of earth is severed, or, rather, the 
mysterious chain uniting her spirit to kindred 
ones upon earth is not severed, only lengthened, 
until its links have reached God's throne. 

But a few days before the crown that shines 
immortal was placed upon her brow, to her it was 
said of an only child, a son of eleven : 

" The Lord has need of this floweret gay ! . . . 

And the mother gave in tears and pain, 

The flower she much did love : 
She knew she would find it soon again 

In the fields of light above." 

♦Wife of Rev. J. E. M'Allister, Michigan Conference. 



80 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

But a few hours before his death, when all 
thought him gone, and his mother, hiding her 
face in his pillow, sobbingly exclaimed, "Joey 
is gone ; his sufferings are ended !" he sud- 
denly looked up, and said, " Do n't cry, mamma ; 
I am better now !" and soon after, as his happy 
spirit passed away to his home where bright an- 
gels are now folding him close beneath their glit- 
tering wings, with a smile upon his face, " Good- 
bye, papa ! good-bye, mamma ! I am going home." 

The Healer was near, pouring balm upon the 
mother's heart, and very calmly she bowed to the 
will of Him who doeth all things well, as the 
reaper death carried from her embrace her darling 
boy, and placed him, the " planted in the house 
of the Lord," safely "in the courts of our God 
above," and then hastened on another mission to 
earth, and to the stricken father said, " I have 
come for the mother of thy boy !" 

. " There is weeping on earth for the lost ! 

There is bowing in grief to the ground ! 
But rejoicing and praise 'mid the sanctified host, 
For a spirit in paradise found! . . . 
And a new harp is strung, and a new song is given 
To the breezes that float o'er the gardens of heaven !" 

As she neared the valley of the " shadow of 
death," as one moistened her lips with water, she 
replied, " How good ; but not as good as the river, 
'the streams whereof make glad the city of our 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 8 1 

God!'" then pointing with her hand, "There! 
Joey has come ! Joey has come for me !" A sister 
standing by, said, " Do you see him ?" " O yes !" 
she replied, "can't you?" and soon after, as her 
feet dipped still deeper into the river, she sweetly 
sang : 

"There is sweet rest in heaven." 

Loved, gone from earth ! Your memories we 
cherish. As thy life is, soon shall ours be ; then, 
in one unbroken band, we '11 sing Christ's power 
to save. 

" We have friends in spirit-land, 
Not shadows in a shadowy band ; 
Not others, but themselves are they." 

October 2$d. Over a month since my last date. 
Has been a month, in some respects, of trial ; in 
others, of joyful triumph through the blood of 
the Lamb. The candle of the Lord has shone 
upon my pathway with a steady light, cheering 
all the dark places. Am in a land of strangers. 

" A stranger in the world below, 
I calmly sojourn here ;" 

and yet I 'm not a stranger. Every-where I go 
I find some of my Father's family. "Fellow- 
citizens with the saints, and of the household of 
God ; made nigh by the blood of Christ." 

Have just returned from our first quarterly- 
meeting ; my first meeting with this people. 



82 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

Went, trusting in the promise, " My grace is suf- 
ficient." The presence of God was felt among 
the people. While Brother G. was preaching, Sab- 
bath morning, a number shouted aloud. Sabbath 
evening, God's blessing again rested upon his 
people. The glory of the Lord filled the house. 
My soul drank from the fountain until the small 
earthly vessel could contain no more, and I gave 
vent to the joy within in praises to Jesus. 

The adversary afterward suggested that it 
would have been better not to have made quite 
so public a demonstration while so perfectly a 
stranger ; but the earnest desire of my soul re- 
plied, "Let not only my lips, but my life, with all 
its powers, be employed in spreading Thy praise 
abroad." My soul was exceedingly happy during 
the night. Never in my life have I felt more like 
giving myself to the work than at present. 

January 24, 1866. The labors of another year 
are entered upon. Its first hour found me renew- 
ing my covenant with God ; " by the mercies of 
God " presenting my body " a living sacrifice." 
The altar is Christ. There my offering is this 
morning. The eternal Word is my refuge. On 
its promises I stand. My feet are pressing solid 
rock ! Alleluiah ! 

At present, am with father at F., where, with 



EXTRA CTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 83 

many discouragements, he is engaged in laboring 
for the salvation of souls. Lord, revive thy work !" 

Last evening was the fourth I have been here, 
and the first in which any female but myself took 
a part ; but with a Wesley, I am ready to say, 
" Let me stand single and alone, if need be." But, 
O Father, raise up here, for thine own sake, 
witnesses for Christ ! 

When, O when, shall the cry of God's Israel 
be, " For Zion's sake will I not hold my peace, 
and for Jerusalem's sake I will not rest, until 
the righteousness thereof go forth as brightness, 
and the salvation thereof as a lamp that burnetii ?" 
Then, and not until then, will our beloved Zion 
" stand forth as the morning, fair as the moon, 
clear as the sun, and terrible as an army with 
banners." 

The great want of the Church at the present 
age, is earnest workers — men and women every- 
where baptized with power from on high, who 
are ready for any work, the " child-work " and 
" man-work ;" who dare, as one has it, to give to 
the Church " all the God-talk in them, without 
changing an accent ;" those who on their breast- 
plate will ever bear the motto, " Victory or death," 
and who are ready unflinchingly to carry the 
blood-stained banner of the Cross into the ranks 
of the enemy. 



84 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

Were the Church, with her millions, such an 
army, where is the power that could stand before 
her ? May the day hasten when she shall thus, 
all over our land, put on her strength, her 
beautiful array ! 

January 26th. Yesterday was spent with 
father in calling from house to house. Last even- 
ing was a precious season to my soul. I arose in 
the congregation to witness for Christ, and the 
power of the Highest rested upon me, and I felt 
that, had there been present a congregated world, 
undaunted I could have told them of the love of 
Jesus. I almost forgot that I was still a resident 
of earth, so near seemed the heavenly world, 
while the glory within inspired this poor, lisping, 
stammering tongue. 

"The Church triumphant in thy love, 
Their mighty joys we know ; 
They sing the Lamb in hymns above, 
And we in hymns below." 

The Church seems in a degree reviving ; but 
O, what need of a thorough work ! There is much 
feeling among the unconverted. To-morrow is 
our quarterly-meeting at W. May the Savior be 
with us ! 

January 29th. Again at F., where we came 
last evening after our quarterly-meeting services. 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 85 

The Lord was with his people. Felt in the love- 
feast to praise God that my lot has been cast for 
a season with this dear people. 

" Surely Thou didst unite 
Our kindred spirits here, 
That all hereafter might 
Before thy throne appear." 

One incident of the meeting made it a season 
ever to be remembered by me. My Ellen R., two 
years ago this Winter, though not then eight 
years of age, gave good evidence of a change of 
heart, and was taken within the folds of the 
Church. The news of her conversion reached 
her dear father but a few days before his triumph- 
ant discharge from the Church below, and wel- 
come to the Church above. In reference to her, 
he wrote : " I had rather my children would be 
early seekers of the ' pearl of great price,' become 
early the subjects of saving grace, than to have 
them become possessors of the accumulated 
wealth of a universe, or of the highest honors earth 
can boast." And all through that last letter were 
written exclamations of joy and praise for God's 
mercy in answer to prayer, manifested in the con- 
version of his little E. 

She is possessed, naturally, of a very timid, 
shrinking nature, and though oft found in secret 
upon her knees, and often, of her own accord, 



86 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

collecting her young playmates together for a 
prayer-meeting, from which she would come with 
her face beaming with the love of Christ, — yet 
would often burst into tears as the public cross 
was from time to time presented. On yester- 
day she, unsolicited — though the church was 
crowded — arose in love- feast, and told in her 
child-like way, but in a manner which touched 
every heart, of the love of Jesus ; and at the 
sacrament arose, and kneeled alone at the altar, 
and received at the hands of brother P. the 
emblems of the 'dying love of Christ, who, when 
upon earth, took little children in his arms, and 
blessed them ; while the exclamation of, " Chil- 
dren have the best right to come," and the tear- 
ful eyes of the congregation, assured my heart 
that no one there was disposed to forbid her. 

Who will say that the spirit of that departed 
father hovered not over that child as she there 
commemorated the sufferings of her dying Sav- 
ior ? Again to me seemed echoed from that 
Richmond hospital, " Tell my family to meet me 
in heaven." To-day my heart responds, " We 
are coming." Together we will by and by sit 
down at the marriage-supper of the Lamb ; and 
for the accomplishment of this, "Thy will be 
done." Yea : rather let this heart break in its 
anguish here, than that- we be there a divided band. 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 87 

January list. The Lord is with us, speak- 
ing through lips of humble clay, and hearts of 
adamant are being broken. Some are coming 
to Christ. 

Last evening, went to the house of prayer 
with so great a burden of soul that it seemed 
insupportable. Father preached from, " What 
shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole 
world and lose his own soul ?" Unusual solem- 
nity rested upon the congregation. It almost 
seemed that, for a time, the curtain hiding the 
realities of the other world was drawn aside, 
while we gazed upon the joys of the saved and 
the miseries of the lost. 

The call for seekers was made; but no one 
moved. Then the Church were invited forward 
to seek a deeper baptism of power from on high. 
I arose to go, but so clearly did I feel that de- 
cisions were being made for eternity, and that 
to-morrow it might be too late for some present 
to make their peace with Heaven, that I turned 
to the brethren and sisters and told them that I 
felt I could not go to the altar without some of 
my unconverted friends with me ; and then, 
drawn by a power almost irresistible, went to the 
back part of the congregation, and with tears and 
entreaties invited them separately and collectively 
to come to Christ. Some wept aloud, but did not 



88 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS, 

move ; and at their feet I bowed, and pleaded 
with the insulted Spirit in their behalf. 

The spirit of entreaty and exhortation rested 
upon the Church ; and, with earnest pleadings, 
they besought the unsaved to be reconciled to 
God, If they refuse, some of us feel that their 
blood will not be found upon our skirts. I 
tremble for the results of this day. Decisions 
are being made that will tell upon the eternal 
destiny of souls. 

May nth. Seasons of interest, precious 
seasons, have passed since a record has here 
been made ; but indelibly are they written upon 
memory's tablet, and in eternity they will not 
be forgotten. Trials have been mine until my 
soul has cried out, " All thy waves and thy 
billows are gone over me." But my soul has 
rested upon the word, " I will be with him in 
trouble : I will deliver him, and honor him." 

Never before have I so fully realized the 
blessedness of the eternal truth, " And we know 
that all things work" — not shall work, but — 
" work together for good to them that love God." 
The trials of earth are bringing me nearer thee, 
O precious Savior ! 

"By the thorn road, and none other, 
Is the mount of vision won." 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE, 89 

It 's the path my Savior trod before me, and I '11 
press on. My soul exclaims, " Pure and spotless 
let me be!" 'Mid the fiery trials of earth, let 
me but, like Moses' bush, " mount the higher," 
and "flourish unconsumed in fire," and I'm 
content ! 

Two years to-day since my companion fell a 
sacrifice upon the altar of his country. Two 
years has he been singing the song of the 
redeemed. Long and weary ones, O my Tru- 
man ! have they been to her thou hast left be- 
hind to battle alone against sin ; but were they 
ten thousand instead, to thee it were happiness, 
eternity but just begun. I leave thee with Him 
who gave thee such victory, such peace to bear 
with thee above. We are not a separated family! 
I claim the sentiment of a sainted Wesley: 

" One family we dwell in Him, 
One Church above, beneath, 
Though now divided by the stream, 
The narrow stream, of death." 

THE CHRISTIAN'S LEGACY. 

" For unto you it is given, in behalf of 
Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to 
suffer for his sake." 

A love of suffering, for its own sake, can 
never be. Every law of our nature shrinks 



90 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

from the fiery ordeal, either of body or mind ; 
but Eternal Wisdom hath chosen that through 
suffering the graces of the Christian should be 
brought to a state of perfection which no other 
means can accomplish. And shall finite man, 
all ignorance and blindness, cry out against the 
process by which his prayer, " Create in me a 
clean heart, O God!" is being answered? Shall 
the clay say to the potter, "Why hast thou 
formed me thus ?" Rather, let the cry of the 
heart be : 

" Deepen the wound thy bands have made 
In this weak, helpless soul, 
Till mercy, with its balmy aid, 
Descend to make me whole. 

The sharpness of thy two-edg'd sword 

Enable me to endure, 
Till bold to say my hall\ving Lord 

Hath wrought a perfect cure." 

And then, when, in answer to this prayer, 
the chastening hand of God is laid upon us, let 
us glorify God that unto us "it is given, in be- 
half of Christ, not only to believe in him, but 
also to suffer for his sake/' 

Shall we ask for the pure gold, for the dross 
of our nature to be destroyed, and then murmur 
at the refining process ? Shall we ask for the 
white raiment wherewith to be clothed, and then 
contend with him who washeth whiter than snow? 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 9 1 

Years since, in the beginning of a walk of 
faith — all ignorance in regard to the way, but a 
babe beginning to walk while our mind was in a 
state of wonderment and perplexity, suffering in- 
tensely from the buffetings of Satan and from sur- 
rounding circumstances, yet endeavoring to hold 
fast our integrity — -we bowed at the throne of 
grace, earnestly pleading for deliverance ; but 
it came not. We opened the Word of God, seek- 
ing there for comfort and deliverance. The eye 
rested upon, " Beloved, think it not strange con- 
cerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as 
though some strange thing happened unto you ; 
but rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of 
Christ's sufferings ; that when his glory shall be 
revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy." 

From that hour, how precious the exhortation t 
Faith in the eternal Word enabled us to receive 
it as spoken from the throne, fully believing and 
resting upon the Word, " that the trial of your 
faith being much more precious than of gold that 
perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might 
be found unto praise and honor and glory at. the 
appearing of Christ, whom, not having seen, ye 
love ; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet 
believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full 
of glory, receiving the end of your faith, even the 
salvation of your souls." 



92 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

Years have since passed by ; but this legacy — 
to suffer — is still mine. The oft-repeated prayer, 
" Nearer, my God, to thee," has entered the ear 
of the Most High. That prayer is being an- 
swered ; but in answering, " He hath led me by a 
way which I knew not." 

The storms of earth are passing, and I am 
nearing home. Already, at times, I seem to catch 
glimpses of the snowy robes of loved ones passed 
over — of one dearer to me than life itself, whose 
body, in a far-off, unknown grave, is moldering 
back to dust ; but while, as ever and anon borne 
on the breeze from that soldier's grave, comes the 
soothing murmur, " Not here, but risen," re- 
echoed by, "Jesus said unto her, I am the resur- 
rection and the life," we look up, knowing the 
loved of earth are placed on the evergreen shore 
to bring us nearer God and heaven ; and with 
rapture, our soul triumphantly exclaims : 

" I know I am nearing the holy ranks 
Of friends and kindred dear. 

I 've almost gained my heavenly home ; 

My spirit loudly sings- ; 
The holy ones, behold they come ! 

I hear the noise of wings ;" 

then come down from Pisgah's mount, and join 

with the few who in spirit sing : 

^ " The cross for Christ I '11 cherish, 

Its crucifixion bear ; 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 93 

All hail reproach or sorrow, 
If Jesus lead me there !" 

I wait the resurrection morn for the knowledge 
of the whys and wherefores. Now, as from God 
himself, we hear the words sounding, reverberat- 
ing in the magnitude of their meaning, " The just 
shall live by faith." 

Dear reader, have the storms of earth reached 
thy dwelling, threatening to ingulf thy frail bark? 
Look up ! List for the voice, and above the 
foam-capped billow thou shalt hear, " Peace, be 

stiii r 

Firmer and firmer let us cling to the vine ; and 
by and by, from our resting-place on the Rock, 
forever we shall look down on rocks that threaten 
and waves that o'erwhelm the soul no more. 
Until then, look for fragrance to come from the 
wounded part ; look amid thy sorrows for the 
touch of Him who turneth darkness into day ; for 
true it is, that 

11 Sorrow, touched by Him, grows bright 
With more than rapture's ray ; 
As darkness shows us worlds of light 
We never saw by day." 

Grace comes as often to us clad in the dark 
robes of affliction as in more shining attire. 
"What are these which are arrayed in white 
robes, and whence came they ?" Listen to the 



94 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

answer : " These are they which came out of great 
tribulation, and have washed their robes and 
made them white in the blood of the Lamb. 
Therefore are they before the throne. ,, May God 
inspire our hearts with the laudable desire to get 
near the throne! 




CHi\PTER V. 




UNE 28th. Would that earth had lan- 
guage in which to speak satisfactorily of 
the precious seasons I have been per- 
mitted to enjoy since my last date ! But O, how 
incompetent am I to tell of the joys of the re- 
deemed ! My soul reaches forward to know more 
of Christ. Shall it ever be satisfied ? Thank 
God, the answer we find in the Word which 
abideth forever: "I shall be satisfied when I 
awake with Thy likeness." 

" Far out of sight, while yet the flesh enfolds us, 
Lies the fair country where our hearts abide ; 
And of its bliss is nought more wondrous told us 
Than these few words, " I shall be satisfied." 

Yet earth has its seasons, while in communion 
with God's people, when the soul, drinking so 
freely of the streams which make glad the city of 
our God, seemingly could endure no more, and 
not escape from its prison-house and soar away 
to join the blood-washed above. 

95 



96 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

Such a season was our 

ALBION CAMP-MEETING. 

Here we were privileged to sit, for the first 
time, under the teachings of Doctor and Mrs. 
Palmer. O, how many went from that meeting 
impressed, as never before, with the truth, " Holi- 
ness is power !" And with this newly-found power, 
many, we may hope, went to raise the "banner 
of holiness ;" and many who had been tremblingly 
raising the standard, went to their fields of labor 
to raise it higher. 

Other banners, stained with sin, were trampled 
in the dust while with these Fletchers of our day 
we joined in singing: 

" O, who '11 stand up for Jesus, 
The lowly Nazarene ? 
And raise the blood-stained banner 
Amid the hosts of sin ?" 

The hasty visit of Doctor and Mrs. Palmer to 
our state was to not a few an epoch in our life- 
history. Said many — some of them God's hon- 
ored legates of the skies — " I see the way of 
faith as never before, its simplicity, its power ;" 
and we all went from that grove meeting, feeling, 
as said our beloved presiding elder in our closing 
love-feast after their departure, that their visit to 
us had been " as the visit of angels." A hun- 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE, 97 

dred, it was estimated, were brought to Christ, 
and as many more fully saved. To God be all 
the glory ! 

This was our centenary convening, in this part 
of our state. Thought was turned to the past of 
the history of Methodism in our lovely West. 
Never was there a more perfect fulfillment of the 
prophecy : " The wilderness and the solitary place 
shall be glad for them ; and the desert shall re- 
joice and blossom as the rose. It shall blossom 
abundantly, and rejoice even with joy and sing- 
ing." The memory of the "just is blessed." 
Thus is the memory of those who, during the 
past century, have, sowing beside all waters, 
toiled in our midst. They labored when small 
and feeble was the day, and have gone up to 
receive their reward. We, above their sacred 
ashes, sing : 

" See how great a flame aspires, 
Kindled by a spark of grace !" 

.Thank God ! The Word doth " swiftly run." 
We now hear the shout from the mountains of 
the far West, and the vales and valleys echo back 
in joyful reply: "A way is here! It is called 
the way of holiness." 

We are not left in sadness to sing of former 
days better than these, but with joy we behold 
Zion coming up out of the wilderness, leaning 

7 



98 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS, 

upon her beloved, and with the Psalmist we ex- 
claim, " Out of Zion the perfection of beauty, 
God hath shined ;" and, " Beautiful for situation, 
the joy of the whole earth, is Mount Zion/' 
Tried long in the furnace, 't is true ; but she flour- 
ishes still, unconsumed in fire, and hastening to 
attire herself in her bridal array. Already the ex- 
ultant strain has commenced : " I will greatly re- 
joice in the Lord : my soul shall be joyful in my 
God ; for he hath clothed me with the garments 
of salvation ; he hath covered me with the robe 
of righteousness as a bridegroom decketh himself 
with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself 
with her jewels." 

In looking upon the past and present of our 
beloved Zion, may not we expect glorious things 
in the future ? The army of Christ in all the dif- 
ferent branches of the Church is steadily increas- 
ing ; and though, for over eighteen hundred years, 
all the combined powers of darkness have been 
brought to bear against it, offensive in her move- 
ments she stands to-day, " Onward," the motto, 
while on the banner unfurled to the breezes that 
float from Calvary we read, " Victory through the 
blood of the Lamb !" God be praised that the 
spirit of the martyrs is with us still ! Men and 
women there are, scattered here and there, all 
over our land, who, with the standard of holiness 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIEXCE. 99 

firmly planted, are ready at the command of our 
Captain to push the battle to the very gate of the 
enemy — who, at every call of the Master, are 
responding, " Here am I ; send me." 

Beholding by faith the eternal triumph of our 
holy Christianity, knowing that 

"Jesus shall reign where'er the sun 
Does his successive journeys run," 

onward they move ; and we, catching the exult- 
ant strains of their music rising above the mists 
of unbelief, with triumph join their song : 

" Thy saints in all this glorious war 
Shall conquer, though they die ; 
They see the triumph from afar — 
By faith they bring it nigh." 

O, the power of holiness — of a life of faith ! 
May this way — the simple, royal way of faith and 
obedience — speedily spread all over our Western 
States, until Jesus' love the whole land shall fire, 
and " set the kingdoms on a blaze !" 

July 1st. Am again with my beloved sisters 
at Coldwater. The tie binding our hearts by this 
meeting is being strengthened. Last Friday 
was a day never to be forgotten by us, for its 
earnest struggle of soul for our approaching 
feast of tabernacles on Coldwater District, and for 



100 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

THE VICTORY GAINED. 

It was the sacred hour of prayer — an hour set 
apart by a few made one in Christ, separated in 
the flesh, in which to meet each other around 
one common mercy-seat, and mingle their voices 
at the throne of grace, for the promotion of 
holiness in their own hearts and that of brethren 
and sisters in Christ. 

In the providence of God, after having been 
long separated, three of the little band had met. 
Preparations were being made to meet God's 
Israel in the tented grove. The day had been 
set apart as one of fasting and prayer, in which 
to present "large petitions to a King" for the 
salvation of God to rest upon his people while on 
the encampment. The soul had prepared its suit, 
fully believing that "Jesus loves to answer prayer." 

Years before, the injunction had been obeyed 
by these now bold ones in Christ, " I beseech 
you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, 
that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, 
holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reason- 
able service." And now the cry of these earnest 
hearts was not only to be presented spotless 
before the throne, but that the "whole spirit 
and soul and body be preserved blameless unto 
the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ." 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 10 1 

It was an hour of deep heart-searching. The 
sharpness of the two-edged sword was being 
endured. Duties crossing to nature were being 
presented, and glorious results from these were 
looming up. 

It had been asked that God's people might 
be so endued with power from on high to do 
battle for the Lord, might be so enabled to 
carry the banner of " Holiness unto the Lord," 
shouting, "Victory through the blood of the 
Lamb !" as to scatter confusion amid the ranks 
of the enemy. Petition after petition was being 
presented, tending directly to the results of the 
coming week's stay in the wilderness. 

Faith was grasping the desired blessings for 
the glory of God alone. 'T was laughing at 
impossibilities, and crying, " It shall be done." 
The flesh, which cries out, " It can not be," was 
silence keeping before the Lord. 

Already faith, grasping the unseen, was be- 
holding God's embassadors upon the walls of 
Zion, speaking with the anointing that abideth ; 
the Church arising, " her light being come ;" the 
Spirit speaking through lips of humble clay, — 
while hearts of stone were breaking, and rebels 
were being brought at the feet of Sovereign Mercy. 

But list! what cometh here? Ah! the regions 
of darkness are alarmed, and in commotion. An 



102 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

embassador is sent. With fiendish purposes, he 
mingles with soft whispers in that little group. 
Shall he prevail ? Too well are the insinuations 
of the tempter interpreted ! The name of his 
Conqueror is repeated : " Victory through Im- 
manuel ! Glory to Jesus !" With disappoint- 
ment he quits the field, and Israel gains the 
day. With conquered mien, he returns to his 
dark abode. Hell is in mourning. 

Long these victorious ones continue in praise 
to their Conquering King. Joyfully they sing: 

"Angels now are hovering round us, 
Unperceived amid the throng, 
Wondering at the love that crowned us, 
Glad to join the holy song." 

The Spirit taketh of the "things of God and 
revealeth them unto babes ;" and, strong in the 
strength which God supplies through his eternal 
Son, they go out from that hour's contest to 
become henceforth not only defensive in standing 
against the assaults of the arch-deceiver, but 
offensive in their movements, attacking the 
seemingly strong fortifications of the enemy, 
with the standard of holiness lifted higher than 
before, carrying the blood-stained banner of the 
cross even amid the hosts of sin. 

Was there no victory in this unseen contest, 
no ground gained ? It will never be sounded 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 103 

to the eager, excitement-loving world as a 
" glorious victory ;" but by and by, in the great 
summary, it will be known who is the greatest 
conqueror : he that subdues a world and brings 
it in subjection at his feet, or he that " over- 
cometh " and is made " a pillar in the temple of 
God ;" who goeth " no more out ;" upon whom is 
written " the name of God, and the name of the 
city of my God, which is New Jerusalem," and 
to whom shall finally be given the inheritance, 
" To him that overcometh will I grant to sit 
with me on my throne, even as I also overcame 
and am sit down with my Father on his throne." 

" Angels our march oppose, 

Who still in strength excel, 
Our secret, sworn, eternal foes, 

Countless, invisible. 
From thrones of glory driven, 

By flaming vengeance hurled, 
They throng the air, and darken heaven, 

And rule this lower world 

But shall believers fear ? 

But shall believers fly ? 
Or see the bloody cross appear, 

And all their powers defy ? 
By all hell's host withstood, 

We all hell's host o'erthrow ; 
And, conquering them through Jesus' blood, 

We on to conquer go." 

July 2d. Yesterday, after services which 
were so precious to our souls while we sat 



104 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

together in the sanctuary, I went with sister 
C. to the home of our dear sister T., to spend 
the remainder of the day in social prayer and 
converse of the deep things of God ; and to- 
gether we again " sat in an heavenly place in 
Christ Jesus." 

Never did heaven and earth seem more com- 
pletely blended into one than on that Sabbath 
afternoon, as we three communed at the blood- 
bought mercy-seat. Again it was, ask and re- 
ceive. My soul is filled with wonder at the 
condescension of the King of kings and Lord 
of lords. " Whosoever will do the will of my 
Father which is in heaven, the same is my 
brother and sister and mother." 

July nth. Have just come from the tented 
grove. O, how gloriously have we been per- 
mitted to realize the victories gained on that 
memorable Friday ! 

Nearly every charge on the district was rep- 
resented by some, strong in the strength of 
Israel's God, ready to do battle for the Lord. 
God's chosen embassadors spoke with lips 
touched anew with living coals from off the 
altar, until, in wonder, many exclaimed, " We 
never saw it in this wise !" 

Battle after battle was fought, until near two 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 105 

hundred, in answer to the prayer, labor, and 
united faith of the Church, had brought their 
weapons of warfare and laid them at the feet of 
their Conquering King. Many sought and ob- 
tained the blessing of purity, the baptism of the 
Holy Ghost, the tongue of fire. 

GIFT OF POWER RECEIVED. 

Rev. G. Newton, one of the Lord's chosen 
watchmen, from an adjoining state, came, ear- 
nestly seeking, as he expressed it, " the gift of 
power/' some overwhelming manifestation while 
in the wilderness. He had previously entered 
the rest of faith ; but desired power to labor, to 
lead on his people to the immediate possession of 

" The land of rest from inbred sin, 
The land of perfect holiness." 

The gift of power was given ; but not as ex- 
pected. The way was clearly presented (as he 
since writes), that all needful power to glorify 
God would be given as needed, so long as he 
moved forward in careful obedience to the 
Spirit's voice ; and by faith he sweetly rested in 
the assurance that, as his day so would his 
strength be. 

Before leaving the ground (on Friday), he 
had asked the prayers of two interested ones, 



106 SUNSHINE AMONG THR CLOUDS. 

especially for Sabbath evening. Of this he 
writes : 

" I was looking for victory ; I expected it. I 
knew you prayed for me. But O, what a strug- 
gle I had amidst thick darkness before evening 
service ! My body, weak and faint, invited Sa- 
tan's attack. But I had learned to walk by 
faith, seeing the Invisible One by my side, though 
greatly pressed. Night came ; larger congrega- 
tion than usual ; and, from stepping into the 
pulpit, power was given. God was manifest to 
mortal sense. The opening prayer led near the 
Throne ! My soul seemed burdened for the 
Church, and, taking a text the Spirit had led me 
to in answer to prayer (Isaiah lxvi, 4), I por- 
trayed the state of Israel's backslidden children, 
and that God would not always be trifled with, 
but will visit their fears upon them with an awful 
realization. The Lord blessed, and, at its close, 
I called all who would ask the baptism of the 
Spirit to surround the altar. I never saw such a 
readiness ; and, as we poured out our souls in 
prayer, blessings came, and I realized victory had 
been given. 

" Monday, I was led to pray that my body 
might be sustained, as it generally, in that day, 
has subjected me to fierce temptations ; and 
it was ! 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 107 

"Bat whilst I have precious victories, I have 
severe struggles. Last evening, at another point 
on my charge, at a prayer-meeting, several souls 
were blessed with pardon, and others are praying 
for purity. Even in July, a revival of religion is 
in waiting for us here." 

Was permitted here to form many new asso- 
ciations, which will be lasting as eternity itself. 
O, ye dear ones in Christ, with whom I 've met 
and parted ! How strong the tie binding my 
heart to yours. We may never meet again on 
earth ; never here again unite in songs of praise 
and mingled vows, which have made our com- 
munion so sweet ; but up yonder in our Father's 
mansion, we shall surely meet. 

" O, what a joyful meeting there ! 
In robes of white array'd ; 
Palms in our hands we all shall bear, 
And crowns upon our head." 

We shall know each other there, as here, and 
together we '11 walk — not earth's paths of sorrow — 
but the gold-paved streets of the New Jerusalem ; 
for heaven's gate shall surely, if we are but faith- 
ful a few days longer, open for us, as one after 
another we sleep in Jesus. 

The fellowship of souls made one in Christ, 
here, is, beyond expression, precious ; but how 
much more glorious when, with the Church, 



108 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS, 

redeemed from all iniquity, free from every spot 
and wrinkle! The fellowship of saints will then 
be made known as on earth it can not be ; and, O 
my Father, may I be one ! 

" O, let my lot be cast with these, < 

The least of Jesus' witnesses ; 
O, that my Lord would count me meet 
To wash his dear disciples' feet !" 

August \st. Am now at my present home at 
W. ; the aim and happiness of my life " to glorify 
God, and enjoy him forever." Spend some time 
in writing. Has been something of a trial to 
find my name with what, a short time since, was 
written for the " Guide and Beauty." It is what I 
never intended. I shrink from thus being ex- 
posed to the view of thousands ; but God's will be 
done. Perhaps this is one of the ways in which 
I am to bind my offering upon the altar. While 
so great a number of witnesses hold me in full 
survey, the Lord help me to run well, even unto 
the end ! O, how weak human endeavors, human 
reliances ! Were these my trust, I were undone ; 
but my weakness with "Thy strength" I join. 
That strength shall enable me to trample be- 
neath my feet my foes, and, following my Guide, 
on to conquest go. 

August 2\st. God is still dealing most gra- 
ciously with my soul. Have an intense desire to 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. IO9 

tell a world what a dear Savior I have found ; for 
the arms of love that are encompassing me would 
embrace all mankind. Feel oft, as did a sainted 
Fletcher, " O, for a gust of praise to go through 
the breadth and length of our land !" 

Was permitted, last week, to meet with God's 
people on the Ann-Arbor Camp-ground. Was a 
stranger among that people, but the language 
they spoke I knew ; the songs they sang were 
those of Zion, and very soon I could but exclaim, 
we are "no more strangers and foreigners/' but 
are " made nigh by the blood of Christ." The 
spirit of prayer in which I went, was to be ena- 
bled to get more entirely out of self into Christ, 
and to this prayer I realized an answer. 

On Wednesday evening of this meeting, after 
services at the stand were closed, while engaged 
in social prayer at the family altar, while asking 
that the "banner of holiness might be lifted on 
the ground, as it had not yet been," suddenly the 
whole encampment seemed enveloped in a glo- 
rious light, and so distinct, to my vision, was this 
light, that I as suddenly fell to the ground as if 
struck bv lightning. It was but for the moment, 
as I immediately had power to arise again. A 
Divine influence pervaded the entire encamp- 
ment. Our tent seemed filled with the glory of 
God. Some shouted aloud ; while others seemed 



1 10 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

filled with silent awe. All spoke afterward of the 
influence in the tent and about the ground as 
being sudden and overpowering. 

Thursday, Doctor and Mrs. Palmer came upon 
the ground, and with them I was permitted to 
enjoy most precious seasons of communion, both 
at public exercises and in private conversation. 
Mrs. Palmer said many things to me which will 
always be remembered ; among these, that I musf 
" forever settle in my mind that when, for the 
Divine glory, I asked help of the Spirit, and 
obediently went forward, that help was given ;" 
also, that I was " too much inclined to question 
in regard to the performance of public duty f 
and that I must " ask of the Lord a stronger 
voice for those duties ;" to which I could re- 
spond, "Just what shall be most for Thy glory 
I dare ask of thee." Find my soul so fully in 
sympathy with Christ in the great work of 
saving a world, that no sacrifice I can make in 
this work seems too great ; and the grace of God, 
his love constraining, inspiring me, is overcoming 
the natural timidity and shrinkings of nature, and 
enabling me joyfully to go forward, glorying in 
nothing save the cross. O, the cross ! How it 
has subdued the pride of this heart ! 

"It makes the coward spirit brave, 

And nerves the feeble arm for fight; 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE, 1 1 1 

It takes the terror from the grave, 

And gilds the bed of death with light." 

Here, the heart's best affections do, and shall 
forever, cluster ; and with the cross my strength, 
lead where thou wilt, O Redeemer ! I '11 follow 
thee. The Lord enable me to help raise the 
standard of holiness to his glory. I love this 
banner ; the banner committed to us as a people, 
that it might " be displayed because of the truth ;" 
but O, how many of our leaders in Zion permit it 
to droop ! But God be praised that some of the 
watchmen do give the certain sound. Some do 
prove their high commission by being 

"Temples of the Holy Ghost, 
And fill'd with faith and hope and love." 

"HE SET A CHILD IN THE MIDST." 

At this meeting, one evening, were bowed 
many who, with uplifted heart, were saying, " I 
would see Jesus ;" some asking forgiveness for 
sins, the accumulation of years of wanderings ; 
some seeking the spotless robe of Christ's right- 
eousness, the beauty of saints ; all alike dependent 
alone upon the merits of the Crucified. We 
kneeled b\ r one of tender age, apparently not more 
than ten years, and asked, " For what have you 
come, my dear ?" " For a clean heart," she replied, 
with a sweetness of manner we shall never forsret. 



112 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

By a few words of questioning, we found that, 
over a year previous, angels had carried the 
tidings home of this child saved from the do- 
minion of sin, and a name had been registered 
in the Lamb's Book of Life ; and now, knowing 
that her Redeemer liveth, she had come seeking 
the beautiful dress without "spot or wrinkle or 
any such thing." 

We remembered the words of the Savior, 
" Whoso shall offend one of these little ones 
which believe in me, it were better for him that 
a millstone were hanged about his neck and that 
he were drowned in the depth of the sea," and 
tried in simplicity to lead her to the open fount- 
ain ; and while Dr. and Mrs. P., who were 
present, sang, 

" My sins are washed away 
In the blood of the Lamb," 

an entire change came over her countenance. 
The large tears, which were forcing themselves 
down her face, seemed stayed in their course ; 
and, with a countenance radiant with joy, she 
arose to her feet, and, with clasped hands, stood, 
seemingly lost to all around, while the inner eye 
was with rapture fixed upon the "beauty of 
holiness." 

Opportunity was given for testimony. With 
majestic calmness she said: " I love Jesus, He 



EXTRA CTS FR OM EXPERIENCE. 1 1 3 

has given me a clean heart ; has washed my 
sins away in his own blood. " Who of that 
crowded altar doubted it? O, how we longed, 
as we stood there looking upon that lovely face, 
those clean, white robes of that child, to show 
her to every infidel, every unbelieving man or 
woman in our land ! Methinks it would have 
been an argument unanswerable. 

Thus shall the Church be, when clothed with 
her power, " holiness." 

" Except ye be converted and become as little 
children, ye shall not enter the kingdom of 
heaven," was for hours after in our mind. 
"These things" are hid from the "wise and 
prudent," and revealed " unto babes." 

May our Father in heaven save the Church 
from her vain philosophy and reasoning, and 
give her child-faith and simplicity! 



CHAPTER VI. 




PREPARED. 

" Is that a death-bed where the Christian lies ? 
Yes : but not his. 'T is death itself there dies." 

^HIS, well has one said, is the land of 
the dying ; yonder, the land of the 
living. What ! call those dead who, 
with God's seal, " They are mine/' upon their 
brow, have walked amid earth's pollutions with 
garments white, overcoming through the blood 
of the Lamb — -who have met the last foe, 
trampled his power beneath their feet, and, with 
shouts of victory, gone to be forever with the 
Lord ! 

" Who are these arrayed in white, 
Brighter than the noonday sun, 
Foremost of the sons of light, 
Nearest the eternal throne ?" 

These are they we miss so much here. But 

our tears cease to flow ; for we know their day 

has but just commenced ; their sun risen, not 

set ; theirs not an ended life, but one just begun. 

114 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 115 

O, happy they who have thus forever escaped 
from the land of the dying ! And soon, our 
conflicts, our toils ended, we shall join them — 
not they come to us. O no : we would not 
have it thus ; we shall go to them. 

With such joyous thoughts, memory places 
oft before us the form of our beloved Mary,* 
an only daughter, possessed in a high degree of 
an amiableness of disposition and those adorn- 
ments of nature which make life lovely. 

At the age of thirteen, she gave her heart to 
God her Savior, and became henceforth an orna- 
ment to the Christian religion. Of none, per- 
haps, could it be more truly said, while for a few 
years she tarried in the Church militant, " His 
seal was on thy brow." 

The first labor of this saved one was to in- 
duce her- father to erect the family altar ; nor 
could she be persuaded to retire for the night 
until the desire of her heart was granted. This 
earnestness characterized her future labors. Love 
being the motive power, no obstacle thrown in 
the way of her onward progress was too great to 
be surmounted ; seeking not, like some who have 
taken upon them the name of a follower of the 
Lamb, to see how near the pit of perdition they 
may drive their chariot-wheels, and yet finally be 
*Miss M. L. Smith. 



Il6 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

admitted at heaven's gate, but how near heaven 
she might live here ; searching God's Word, as 
for hidden treasure, to find the narrow way. 

At the age of eighteen, she received Christ, 
an all-sufficient Savior, joyful to find the way so 
beautifully described by the prophet: "A way 
shall be there, and a highway. It shall be 
called the way of holiness." 

From this time, the nobleness of the victory 
that overcometh the world, even our faith, was 
exemplified in the life of Mary. Possessed of a 
reserved and shrinking nature, grace overcoming 
the fear of man, glorying in the cross was the 
more manifest ; and she was permitted to know, 
even before the spirit burst its house of clay, 
that her labor was not in vain in the Lord. 
Hers* we know, though but few years were given 
in which to win souls, is no starless crown. 

We love to remember the "enduring" in 
hours of darkness, "as seeing Him who is in- 
visible," the triumph in Christ as she went from 
strength to strength ; but there is a scene that 
we always feel was 

"Privileged beyond the common walks 
Of virtuous life, quite on the verge of heaven." 

It is where our loved Mary passed up from the 
Church below to the Church above. Heaven 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 1 J 

has always seemed nearer since with her we 
went down to the brink of the river, saw her 
fearless plunge, and caught the echoes of the 
music on the other side, as the white-robed 
company welcomed her home. 

Her final illness lasted some five days, during 
which she suffered beyond expression ; but, when 
permitted a season of comparative ease, her fa- 
vorite expressions were, " My father 's at the 
helm ; my Jesus doeth all things well." 

A few hours before her death, she called a 
dear aunt to her bedside, and asked her opinion 
in regard to her recovery. On being told that 
she had no evidence in respect to her restoration 
to health, she replied, " I have no choice. " 

Soon after, being taken violently worse, the 
physician pronounced her dying ; but, as soon 
as she could speak, she exclaimed, with all the 
earnestness of which she was capable, " Chris- 
tians, live! Christians, live!" and, with sen- 
tences of earnest entreaty and warning, ex- 
horted those present to be faithful in the service 
of Christ. 

To her mother, whom she sought to comfort, 
she said, " Go to Jesus with all your sorrow r s ; 
he '11 help you every time." To her father, for 
whom she had long prayed, desiring to see him 
take a decided stand for Christ, " You know the 



Il8 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS, 

way ;" then gave her Bible to her brother of 
twelve years of age, and held his hand until he 
promised to meet her in heaven. To her be- 
trothed she said, " We shall soon meet in that 
better land ;" then said to her aunt, " Sing," and 
joined her in singing several hymns ; then re- 
quested her to pray, and, when she ceased, broke 
out in prayer herself 

Her countenance now beamed with unearthly 
radiance ; and, to those who looked on and list- 
ened to her words, she seemed no longer like an 
inhabitant of earth. 

After praying for friends, the neighborhood, 
her brethren and sisters in Christ, she asked 
that the place might be made holy ground ; and 
for herself, as her last earthly boon, "perfect 
victory in death." God was very near, and 
quickly answered the petition ; and she shouted 
aloud the praises of her Redeemer until her 
strength was exhausted. 

Soon after, the adversary, unwilling that such 
complete triumph should be hers, suggested, 
"You asked this blessing to be seen of men." 
She mentioned it to one standing by, who re- 
plied : " Mary, that was the tempter. Put your 
trust in God." She immediately replied, "Though 
he slay me, yet will I trust in him." 

This was the last conflict, after which she 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 119 

conversed but little, exclaiming oft, in prayer, 
"Jesus, come a little nearer!" and to those 
around: "'T is nothing to die. Jesus is here." 
After the physicians present had pronounced 
her nearly gone, she requested her pastor, Rev. 
Wm. Birdsall, to sing., and joined him in singing: 

" We 're going home, to die no more." 

But the chariot was waiting ; and, lifting up 
her hands in token of victory, she exclaimed, 
" Though I walk through the valley of the 
shadow of death, I will fear no evil ; for thou 
art with me : thy rod and thy staff they comfort 
me ;" and was borne by her heavenly escort to 
her home above. 

We 've laid the form of our loved one in the 
tomb, but we know she is not there. By faith, 
we behold her mingling with the blood-washed 
around the throne. Sometimes we almost ap- 
prehend her presence here, and list to hear her 
softly whisper words of holy triumph as before ; 
and she seems beckoning us upward, where 
friends never part. 

" The sting of death is sin, and the strength 
of sin is the law : but thanks be unto God, which 
giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus 
Christ." 

" O, how wonderful to see 

Death and life in conflict meet ! 



120 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

Life hath won the victory, 

Trodden death beneath his feet." 

And now we know that, to the Christian, 

" There is no death ; what seems so is transition : 
This life of mortal breath 
Is but the suburb of the life Elysian, 
Whose portal we call deatft." 



UNPREPARED. 

What a contrast to my meditations of yes- 
terday ! Have just come from the bedside of 
one with no hope of life beyond the grave — a 
young lady, possessed, as was our dear Mary, 
with all those surroundings that combine to 
make life useful and happy. But hers was the 
vain search for happiness in the world. 

In the ball-room, 'mid the pleasure-loving 
throng, she sought to drown the gentle wooings 
of the Good Shepherd, who would fain have led 
her into green pastures, beside living waters. 
Friends had affectionately urged upon her his 
claims ; but, " Not now," was her repeated reply. 

Four weeks ago to-day, she stood at the altar, 
a happy bride ; but the interests of the soul 
were still forgotten. 

To-day, the cry was made : " Behold the 
Heavenly Bridegroom cometh !" " Go ye out to 
meet him !" 



EXTRA CTS FR OM EXPERIENCE. 1 2 1 

Friends gathered round, and told her of the 
summons, pointing her to the Lamb of God, who 
saved the thief upon the cross. But it was too 
late to make the needful preparations. In an- 
guish she exclaimed, " O, I can not die ! Do n't 
tell me I must die !" and then in unconsciousness 
passed through the dark valley. 

" How shocking was thy summons, O death, 
To her that was at ease in her possessions ; 
Who, counting on long years of pleasure here, 
Was quite unfurnished for the world to come !" 

In her bridal garments we dressed her for the 
tomb, while all the time the question was forcing 
itself upon our mind, "Will this bridal attire 
answer to appear in before the ' King of kings ?' " 

Our Bridegroom has provided the "white 
robes/' and given the command, "Be ye also 
ready ;" and who, without this attire, dare go out 
to meet him ? O, who can bear the anger of an 
offended God ? 

Let me wear here the spotless robes of Christ's 
righteousness, watching ever for the coming of 
the Master! 

" There is a death whose pang 
Outlasts the fleeting breath ; 
O, what eternal horrors hang 
Around the second death !" 

September ist. The Lord of Hosts again met 
his people in his own tabernacle (Moscow Camp- 



122 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

meeting), made without hands. Here the time 
was spent in united effort for the glory of God, 
with my dear friend, Mrs. M. H. Twogood. Why 
have our lots been cast together ? Are we not 
made one in answer to Christ's own prayer for his 
disciples, " That they all may be one : as thou, 
Father, art in me and I in thee, that they also' 
may be one in us : that the world may believe 
that thou hast sent me ?" 

We have drank of the same cup of bereave- 
ment, are alike in aims and aspirations, joys and 
sorrows, and more — are united in Christ by the 
band of love, the threefold cord which never can 
be broke. 

This time was almost constantly occupied in 
labor for others, in which God greatly blessed. 
Some battles were fought and victories won. 
Thanks be unto God, who "always causeth us to 
triumph in Christ." 

October ytk. Another conference year is com- 
menced. Father is returned to W. and F. The 
toils, the battles, and, we trust, holy triumphs of 
another year, are before us. Already the battle 
has commenced. The adversary is busy ; but 
we expect it will be seen that there is a God in 
Israel. 

'Tis Sabbath evening, the close of our first 



EXTRA CTS FR OM EXPERIENCE. 1 2 3 

quarterly-meeting. We have here many discour- 
agements, — -the greatest of them all, the coldness 
of the Church ; the great want in some (and 
those our leaders in Zion), of the mind of Christ. 
O, how painful to see those who should be, and 
to whom we have a right to look, as lights spirit- 
ually, led by the great arch-deceiver ! Were our 
trust in human help, we should surely fail ; but 
looking to God alone, resting upon the firm foun- 
dation of his Word, " For in due season ye shall 
reap if ye faint not," we go forth " weeping," our 
record on high, proving the trial of our faith 
more precious than " of gold that perisheth." 

There is a day of rest coming for the weary 
itinerant. How glorious then his triumph, carry- 
ing his sheaves with him ! 

Our hearts have been greatly cheered, of late, 
by the news of the conversion of a dear uncle, for 
whose salvation many prayers have been offered 
in the past. These prayers were answered in 

EDDY'S MISSION. 

Upon a mission on earth, bringing joy and 
sunshine, with little feet pattering from morn till 
night, and joyous laugh ringing every-where, came 
little Eddy, pet Eddy; while fond parents and 
three sisters clasped him tightly in their grasp of 



124 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

love. But a mission hast thou, darling boy, not 
only to bring joy and gladness, but to wring 
hearts with anguish. Why this ? 

In childish glee, he climbs upon the knee of 
one he loves, and, throwing his tiny arms around 
her neck, says : 

" Grandma, Eddy's got wings growing." 

" Hush, darling ! Grandma will need wings 
first/' 

" Grandma will have big wings ; but Eddy's 
'most big enough now!" 

In a few days, death opens the door for the 
" caged bird," and Eddy joins the warblers above. 
His body rests in a short, narrow bed in the city 
cemetery. His wings, if needed, have carried 
the spirit up to the bright Elysium. 

From that hour of dark sorrow to those be- 
reaved parents, that unconverted father hears 
ever a little voice, saying : 

"Come this way, my father — 
Steer straight for me ; 
Here, safe on the shore, 
I am waiting for thee." 

'T is the hour of worship. In a crowded city 
church a man of influence arises, and, with sub- 
dued utterance, speaks of the slighted opportuni- 
ties of years ; of the repeated grievings of the 
spirit of God ; of the late, perhaps last call, in 



EXTRA CTS FR OM EXPERIENCE. 1 2 5 

the removal of a cherished idol ; and, with deep 
contrition, before that congregation, pledges the 
remainder of his life to the cause of Christ. 

Strong men are touched, and weep ; and, one 
after another, arise and pledge themselves to " go 
to their Father." Thus the work goes on, until 
a hundred, from a life of sin and wandering, have 
turned their feet unto the testimonies of the Lord. 

Was Eddy's mission upon earth, though so 
short, a useless one ? Will he have any stars in 
his crown ? Mourners, weeping beside little 
mounds, listening in vain for the pattering of 
little feet, joyous prattling, look upward ! List 
for the voice, and thou shalt hear it : " I am wait- 
ing for thee !" And the mission of thy now angel 
babe to bring thee nearer God and heaven, to link 
with golden chain thy spirit near the throne, shall 
not have been in vain. And when thy work is 
done, thy darling, with harp and crown, standing 
on the ever-green shore, shall welcome thee home. 






CHAPTER VII. 

REV. H. LAW. 

ICTOBER 8th. The news of battles 
fought and victories won have filled our 
land with rejoicing ; while long and con- 
tinued have been the shouts echoing from north 
to south, and from east to west, of triumph over 
a vanquished foe. Of a greater, more glorious 
battle fought and victory won our pen to-day 
writes : 

" O, the burst gates, crushed sting, demolished throne, 
Last gasp of vanquished Death ! Shout earth and heaven !" 

The particulars of the sudden death of Rev. H. 

Law, of the Michigan Conference, have just 

reached us. On Sabbath evening, September 

9th, he went from his Conference, then in session 

at Hillsdale, to Mosherville, a previous field of 

labor, where he preached with unusual unction 

and power, from " Now, thanks be unto God, 

which always causeth us to triumph in Christ." 
126 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE, 12J 

At the close he made an earnest and affecting 
appeal to the young people present, exhorting 
them to an immediate acquaintance with Christ ; 
and then, with outspread arms, breathed forth the 
longings of his soul in " God bless this people !" 
and suddenly fell upon the altar near which he 
stood, shouting " Glory to God !" and "was not," 
for " God took him." 

Brother Law was a holy man. What more 
can be said? Has fallen at his post; ceased at 
once to work and live. The startling and sad- 
dening news has been swiftly flying through our 
state, " Brother Law is dead !" This is the cry 
of mortals. Angels sing, and loud heaven echoes 
with their song, " He lives !" By death he has 
only escaped from death, and immortality gained ; 
his one desire on earth realized, " Forever with the 
Lord ;" and, though his place is forever vacant on 
earth, long will he live in precious remembrances 
in the different charges and districts where he has 
labored. 

Brother Law was dear to me — a friend in days 
of deep affliction. They have met in that better 
land, where sorrow is a word unknown, while 
sister Law and I alone journey thitherward ; but 
there is to us whispering a voice which we know 
to be that of our God, 

" I love thee ! I love thee ! pass under the rod !" 



128 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

and the chain which death has broken in twain is 
being fastened still firmer to the skies. 

Sister Law is being sustained to the glory of 
God's grace in this hour of bereavement. She 
thus writes me : 

" You know of the sorrow of hours like these. 
But the Lord is wonderfully sustaining me ; and, 
though my heart has been riven as never before, 
the Savior has been so preciously near, and some- 
times I have had so sweet an earnest of the 
glorious rest, that my sorrow has melted away in 
the blessed sunlight of the better clime. 

"The Lord has been preparing me for weeks 
for this trial. I have had glorious victories ; such 
pantings after God, such consecration, such pure, 
ardent love for the cause of Christ, I had never 
known before. But I need it all. I had been 
praying that my dear, precious husband might do 
more good this year than ever before in any of 
his life. I asked, with tearful pleadings, 'Any- 
where, any sacrifice! so God might be honored, 
souls saved. The Lord heard my prayer ; he 
answered, O how mysteriously ! But I knew it 
was the twofold answer to our prayers. When 
they lifted his bowed form from the altar, the 
whole truth was plain from the first look. I said, 
' It is the answer to his oft-made prayer, that he 
might go from labor to rest ;' and in his thus 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 29 

going, I knew, was the answer to mine. Words 
can not express the feelings of my heart in this 
glorious hour, for it was heavenly. I had never 
heard him so clearly portray the triumphs of the 
Gospel as at this time ; and to see him thus tri- 
umph over death with the waving of his hand, 
and a ' Glory be to God ' upon his lips, was 
glorious. 

" He was gone as soon as the ebbing blood 
could cease to flow — gone to his reward. I kneeled 
near him, to commend to God my interests and 
say, ' Thy will be done ;' to know that my conse- 
cration was perfect, now so suddenly tested. The 
first words that escaped my lips were the last that 
fell from his, ' Glory be to God !' O, the victories 
of that hour! Earth faded; sorrow melted; 
heaven and earth strangely commingled, while 
with shouts of victory I joined with the redeemed 
around the throne, * Unto Him who halh loved 
us and washed us in his own blood !' 

" Heaven came to earth — earth rose to heaven. 
At times, the waves of sorrow pass over my soul, 
and if Jesus did not come quickly to strengthen, 
I could not endure it. This holy Sabbath morn- 
ing I missed him so much ! The books were 
ready for prayer. It seemed, for the moment, I 
must hear his voice. I could not see the words, 
and gave the book to Sister Caroline. 

9 



I30 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

" No need, now, of the clean linen. No : for 
they are always clean and white. No need now 
to pray that physical strength may be given, the 
Holy Spirit's power imparted, that another Sab- 
bath's labor may be done to the glory of God ; 
for he * rests from his labors,' and his ' works do 
follow him/ 

" * Father, to us vouchsafe the grace 

Which brought our friend victorious through ; 
Let us his shining footsteps trace, 

Let us his steadfast faith pursue ; 
Follow this follower of the Lamb, 
And conquer all through Jesus' name.' " 

October 22d. Have just returned from a 
week's visit at the orphan home of my friend, 
sister T. It was a week to be remembered, for 
its holy communings and precious seasons of 
prayer, especially at our " sacred hour of ten." 
Spent some of the time in writing. We wrote, 
by request, the particulars of brother Law's 
death, for the Guide. While thus engaged, his 
presence seemed so near that I was forced to 
lay aside my pen, and give vent to the over- 
powering feelings of the soul in tears and 
praises to Him who is "the resurrection and 
the life," and who will bring with him those 
who " sleep in Jesus." 

While there, learned of the death of Mr. C, 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. I31 

a man of promise and influence, whom we had, 
with others, unitedly urged to an immediate 
surrender to Christ, on the Coldwater Camp- 
ground. He faithfully promised that he would 
set about the work immediately ; and said that 
we might know, when we thought of him (he 
was then about to leave the ground), that he 
was living a Christian life ; that all earthly 
considerations should not hinder in the imme- 
diate work of saving the soul ; and, to make 
this promise still stronger and more sacred, 
if possible, wrote his name in my Hymn-book, 
under the hymn : 

" Lord, in the strength of grace, 
With a glad heart and free, 
Myself, my residue of days, 
I consecrate to thee. 

Thy ransom'd servant, I 

Restore to thee thine own ; 
And from this moment, live or die, 

To serve my God alone." 

Thus we parted. But O, the broken vow ! 
How it will rise up in the Day of Judgment, to 
his condemnation ! 

Instead of yielding to the just, acknowledged 
claims of God, he plunged more fully into the 
world than ever before, little realizing that, 

" Soon, borne on time's most rapid wing, 

Should death command him to the grave, 



132 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

Before God's bar his spirit bring, 
And none be found to hear or save." 

In three short months from the making of 
that pledge, upon a bed of death he said to 
those around him : " The remembrance of the 
unkept promise made to those sisters at C, has 
been with me by night and day — a thorn in my 
pillow, a barbed arrow in my heart ; and the 
thought of that broken vow is now filling my 
heart with anguish ; and if I live I will imme- 
diately set about the work, but it is of no use 
now!" And thus he passed away to the spirit- 
land. How true that, " Whatsoever a man sovveth, 
that shall he also reap !" 

October 26th. " In all thy ways acknowledge 
Him, and he shall direct thy paths," is much 
on my mind. 

" Leave to his sovereign sway, 
To choose and to command." 

December \st. On the thirteenth of last 
month, was united in marriage to Rev. J. E. 
M'Allister, of the Michigan Conference. This 
step has not been taken without realizing the 
sacred obligations incurred, and the toils and 
sacrifices to be shared with the itinerant. But 
so emphatically do I feel it to be of the Lord, 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 33 

that, notwithstanding all my unworthiness and 
unfitness for a work so important, I should 
hardly dare (did my heart prompt) to refuse to 
say, " Whither thou goest, I will go ; thy people 
shall be my people, and thy God my God." 

We arrived at the parsonage at Leroy, Mr. 
M'Allister's field of labor, late in the afternoon 
of the fourteenth of last month, where we found 
a large company met to welcome us, with a 
hearty welcome, judging from the table groaning 
beneath its load of varieties. 

Every thing was done that could be to make 
our coming among this people pleasant ; and, had 
it not been for the suffering state of Mr. M'Allis- 
ter, we could have asked no more. But our Father, 
who is too wise to err and too good to be unkind, 
ordered that the cup of happiness should for the 
time be exchanged for one of sorrow. His dis- 
ease (hemorrhage of the stomach) increased with 
rapidity until the eighteenth, when word came 
that his physician had said he could " do no 
more for him ; there was no hope of life." 

With feelings indescribable, after writing tel- 
egrams to absent friends, we retired, to be 
" alone with God;" feeling that new strength 
must be imparted, or we should sink beneath 
the sudden, unlooked-for sorrow upon us. 

We thought of the past : how hopes fondly 



134 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

cherished, by one dark wave of sorrow were 
forever crushed, and laid in broken fragments at 
our feet; and of the grace that, amid it all, had 
sustained, enabling us, in joyous anticipation, to 
look forward to the time when these broken 
fragments, clothed with immortal beauty, would 
be all gathered again by Him who hath declared, 
" The very hairs of your head are all numbered ;" 
and, with earnest pleadings, we beseeched the 
Throne for present grace, to enable us now, while 
in a land of strangers, to magnify that grace 
which saves to the uttermost ; and arose to our 
feet with our feelings best expressed in the lan- 
guage of the prophet, " The work of righteous- 
ness shall be peace : and the effect of righteous- 
ness, quietness and assurance forever." 

As we re-entered Mr. M'Allister's sick-room, 
we said to a dear brother in Christ present, 
" We must have a season of prayer." And at 
his bedside we bowed, while brother Sprague 
talked with God as friend with friend ; pleading, 
if it might be God's will, for the restoration of the 
health of their pastor ; and, in broken utterances, 
we followed. O, there were, at that hour, turn- 
ings away from human instrumentalities to the 
"balm in Gilead," to the " Great Physician" 
there ; and prayer entered the ear of the Most 
High. Heaven and earth blended into one ! Glory 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIEXCE. 135 

crowned the mercy-seat, while together my hus- 
band and myself shouted aloud the praises of 
our adorable Redeemer! 

From that hour, there was a marked change. 
His physician, coming in soon after, said, " You 
are better." His disease abated, and he is now 
about, though unable as vet to do effective work 
on his circuit ; but is steadily improving, and 
savs that he must forever acknowledge that he 
owes his recovery to the direct answer to the 
prayers of those who on that Sabbath kneeled 
at his bedside. Our soul responds, " To God 
alone be glory I 1 ' 

11 Thus to the Lord I raised my cry ; 
He heard me from his holy hill ; 
At his command the waves rolled by : 
He beckoned, and the winds were still." 

February 12, 1867. Mr. M'Allister has just 
closed a series of meetings here, in which some 
twenty-five have been converted. 

God has been with his people in power, hear- 
ing and answering prayer. Some very interesting 
young people, in whose salvation we became very 
much interested, give clear evidence of a change 
of heart and promise of usefulness. 

Several evenings of this meeting were marked 
with more than ordinary interest. 

One Sabbath evening, as Mr. M'Allister was 



136 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

about to close the public services, suddenly he 
was overcome with burden of soul for the un- 
converted present ; and fell upon his knees and 
commenced pleading aloud for their salvation, 
that the insulted Spirit that, day after day, had 
of late been so deeply moving their hearts, 
might not take its everlasting flight. This same 
burden at the same moment fell upon several 
others present, and, for over an hour, the earnest 
prayers of these were heard, while the uncon- 
verted looked on with amazement, obliged to con- 
fess, " Lo, God is here !" and quite a number arose, 
asking for prayer in their behalf. 

One young man, who was specially remem- 
bered, and who afterward yielded to his pungent 
conviction, remarked that, during that hour, he 
had so clear a sense of the awful presence of God 
and of his own unsaved condition that it would 
have hardly been possible for him to rise from 
his seat. 

Another evening, while Mr. M. was yet preach- 
ing, a young man arose from his seat in the back 
part of the house, starting, as we supposed, for 
the door, but reeling like a drunken man as he 
went, supporting himself as best he could through 
the aisle, until he reached the chair where Mr. M. 
was standing, in front of the desk, when he fell 
upon his knees, exclaiming : " Pray for me !" 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 37 

and, before he arose to his feet, was happily con- 
verted to God. He is a young man of promise, 
and bids fair, if faithful, for a future of much 
usefulness. 

May we be permitted to meet these when we 
shout our harvest-home ! 

February 25th. We are much drawn out in 
prayer for S. E. Leroy. God's people there are 
very few and feeble, and so many following the 
" Lo, here !" and " Lo, there !" of the world. Can 
human instrumentality reach these, hardened by 
the deceitfulness of sin ? We turn away from 
trust in human help, to Him who hath said : 
"Ask of me, and I shall give thee" even " the 
heathen for thine inheritance, and the uttermost 
parts of the earth for thy possession." 

March 2^th. During the past few weeks, have 
been permitted to labor incessantly in the vine- 
yard of the Lord ; and our hearts have been glad- 
dened by witnessing a gracious outpouring of his 
Spirit at S. E. Leroy. Some forty or fifty have 
turned their feet from the ways of sin and folly 
into paths of pleasantness and peace. Husbands 
and wives, young men and maidens, together 
came, seeking the " pearl of great price ;" and 
even the gray-headed sought not in vain. 



138 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

Thank God for the privilege of directing these 
burdened, sin-sick souls to the Lamb for sinners 
slain, and of rejoicing with them when newly 
clothed in the robes of praise ; and though dur- 
ing these weeks I was the only female present to 
labor at the altar, I would here record, to the glory 
of God's grace, that I was wonderfully helped, 
proving, O so sweetly, "My grace is sufficient!" 
O, the preciousness of the privilege of being per- 
mitted to stand up amid the hosts of sin, raising 
the blood-stained banner of the cross ! I ask no 
higher honor ; I seek no greater happiness. 

"Might I enjoy the meanest place 
Within Thy house, O God of grace ; 
Not tents of ease, or thrones of power, 
Should tempt my feet to leave thy door." 

That God is not slack concerning his promises, 
as some men count slackness, we know ; and, as 
year after year is revealing to us more and more 
of the mystery of godliness, again and again, in 
plainer and yet plainer characters, do we set to 
our seal, " God is true ;" but at this meeting we 
learned new lessons of 

THE POWER OF FAITH. 

Streams of living water were all around us, 
gushing forth ; and the wilderness and solitary 
place of sin was " blossoming as the rose;" but 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 39 

Satan's kingdom, which has so long had dominion, 
is in danger, and infidels and spiritualists must 
needs come to the rescue. Who shall triumph ? 
Shall the few followers of the lowly Nazarene 
expect to be victors when the contest is so un- 
equal ? But we hear the command of our Cap- 
tain, " Go forward!" and, knowing in whom we 
trust, we obey. Evening service arrives, and a 
crowded house, with but a few to stand up for 
Christ, betokens the need of special help. One 
sat in the congregation whose faith was in unison 
with the faith of him who had it in charge, who 
had learned the worth of prayer; and, as that 
embassador of Christ arose to plead with sinners 
to be reconciled to God, these words to that one 
were presented, "This is the confidence that we 
have in Him, that if we ask any thing according 
to his will he heareth us ; and if we know that 
he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we 
have the petition that we desired of him ;" and 
with it the inquiry, " Have you the faith to ask for 
present victory over these opposing persons, and 
a new impetus to this work ?" For a moment 
faith wavered. The tempter reasoned, "Circum- 
stances are against it : the crowded house, the 
presence of those who so earnestly oppose the 
work ;" while the Spirit whispered, " But it is in 
accordance with the will of God that salvation 



I40 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS, 

come to this house to-night; that the Word be 
so clothed with power from on high that present 
fruit be the result ; and the power is yours, of 
every disciple of Christ, to claim it." 

Not daring the non-exercise of this power of 
faith, we stepped out, upon the promise. From 
that moment, access seemed given into the audi- 
ence-chamber of the Unseen, and steadily we 
held our petition, presented in the name of Jesus, 
before the throne, awaiting results ; saying to the 
flesh, which cried, " It can not be," " Keep silence 
before the Lord ;" until the answer came, in the 
burning words of truth that fell from the sacred 
desk ; in the commanding manner of him who 
spoke in honor of his Divine Master, "who 
spake as never man spake ;" and in the rush 
that was made by many, at its close, for the 
altar of prayer. 

One gray-headed man, who sat near the 
center of the congregation, who, but a few even- 
ings previous, had, in anger, left before service 
closed, arose, and, facing his former friends — the 
enemies of the cross of Christ — in a manner 
which thrilled the audience, said, "The Spirit 
and the Bride say, Come! and I am going; come 
with me !" and then hastened to the altar, fol- 
lowed by nine, men of influence, mostly heads 
of families ; and we bow with them, presenting 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 141 

their case to the Father, knowing that our God 
heareth prayer. 

For a few days the work moves steadily on : 
then, again, we behold the enemies of the cross 
in battle array. A text is given, from which the 
minister of Christ consents to speak, and pains 
is taken to have one, previously not an attendant 
of the meeting, present ; one in whom those 
earnest workers for their master, "the great 
arch-deceiver,'' have confidence as a leader and 
helper. He spends the evening taking notes, 
while the two-edged sword — the eternal word of 
truth, given by themselves — is wielded against 
them. Again we flee to our Rock of Defense, 
presenting the Word which abideth forever, and 
again claim its fulfillment. The result is, he in 
whom they had expected so strong a re-enforce- 
ment remains to pray. And night after night 
finds him with the people of God, contending 
for the truths of our holy Christianity. And 
again, as we look upon him, are we led to ex- 
claim : " Now thanks be unto God, which always 
causeth us to triumph in Christ !" 

Again, it is Sabbath evening. We are met, 
with a few of t?he disciples of Christ, for social 
prayer. Worn and weary in body and mind, the 
adversary seems ready to withstand every onward 
step. We opened our mouth in prayer ; but 



142 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

power seemed lacking, power to prevail with 
God ; and, with a feeling of unrest of soul, we 
arose to our seat. We were earnest in the de- 
sire to make all these means of grace steps in 
the way to lead us nearer God and heaven, and 
therefore were led to ask of the Lord to cause 
even the experience of this evening to result in 
his glory ; and, asking calmly and confidingly an 
increase of the power of a life of faith in the 
soul, arose to testify for Christ, expressing pres- 
ent experience, and our present petition and 
expectation of its fulfillment. 

The coming week was one of unusual spirit- 
ual conflict, causing the exclamation, "Why go 
I mourning because of the "oppression of the 
enemy?" the adversary oft suggesting the inquiry, 
"Where now is the answer to your petition?" 

Sabbath morning came, and we repaired to 
the house of God. During the opening prayer, 
while not drawn out in any unusual manner, our 
soul was suddenly filled to overflowing. The 
baptism of the Holy Spirit is upon us, and we 
are constrained to give vent to the fountain 
within in expressions of praise and flowing tears. 
Wondering at such condescension, why we are 
fed so bountifully, we look up inquiringly to the 
Giver — and quick the response, " This is the 
answer to. your petition of last Sabbath evening." 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 143 

Thus, as we onward urge our way, are we 
permitted to realize the answer to the prayer of 
faith, in " new creations " in our own and the 
souls of otherSo 

" This is the victory : 

Before our faith they fall ; 
Jesus hath died for you and me — 
Believe, and conquer all." 




CHAPTER VIII. 



ril 23*. 



REV. J. JENNINGS. 

" Lift not thou the wailing voice, 

Weep not ; 't is a Christian dieth ! 

Up where blessed saints rejoice, 
Ransomed now, the spirit flyeth. 

High in Heaven's own light he dwelleth ; 

Full the song of triumph swelleth ; 

Freed from earth and earthly failing, 

Lift for him no voice of wailing.'' 

AVE just learned of the death of Rev. 
J. Jennings, of the Michigan Confer- 
ence. He was long a great sufferer ; 
but we can not look back upon that noble life — 
given a blessing to those among whom he has 
ministered in holy things — and the peaceful, tri- 
umphant exit to the land of the "living," without 
exclaiming, " Let me live the life, and die the 
death, of the righteous !" 

He had hearkened diligently to the commands 
144 




EXTRA CTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 45 

of God, and his peace was " as a river," deepen- 
ing and widening until it efnptied its mighty, 
unruffled waters into eternity. 

When told by his counsel of physicians, for 
the first, that his disease was cancer' of the 
stomach, and that he must soon die, the physi- 
cian who held his hand, with his finger upon his 
pulse, remarked, that there was not the least flut- 
ter, not a beat quicker. Ah, heaven's gate to 
him stood ajar ! Glory w r as gilding the pathway 
there, lighting up the valley, and he feared not 
to enter. 

Though constitutionally not emotional, peace — 
deep, abiding peace — best expressing the state of 
mind in which he lived, while Rev. R. C. Craw- 
ford, who, but a few days before his death, visited 
him, at his request was singing at his bedside, 

"Come all ye saints to Pisgah's mountain ; 

Come view your home beyond the tide ; . . . 

O, the prospect it is so transporting, 
And no danger I fear from the tide ! 

Let me go to the home of the Christian — 
Let me stand robed in white by his side ;" 

he became very exultant, and at its close, ex- 
claimed, " O, won't I jump and leap and shout 
when safe landed on the other shore !" 

We could but wonder, as we visited his sick- 
room, which .always seemed privileged for its 



I46 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

nearness to heaven, why upon him, in the prime 
of life, beloved by all, eminent for usefulness as 
a minister of the Gospel, death should be per- 
mitted to fix his seal. Reason argued, so much 
needed ! Brethren in toil, cultivators together of 
Immanuel's land, gather around, and would fain 
detain the spirit bursting its bonds, for he is a 
leader in the van of the host. But our vain 
questioning was silenced. 

A short respite from pain is given, and the suf- 
ferer sleeps. A heavenly smile plays upon the 
countenance ; light from the upper world is re- 
flected upon that face of clay. The eyes gently 
open, and are directed toward the darkened win- 
dow. The lips move, and we catch the whisper, 
" O, how beautiful ! how beautiful !" His weep- 
ing companion approaches, saying, " Yes, it is a 
lovely day ; shall I throw open the shutter so 
that you may once again look upon the beauties 
of nature?" The countenance, already radiant 
with heaven's own light, beams with more than 
angelic glory as he responds, " O, I see beyond 
the shutters — far beyond the shutters !" 

Reason is hushed. Faith speaks, " Our light 
affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for 
us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of 
glory." " Clouds and darkness are round about 
him ; righteousness and judgment are the habita- 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 47 

tion of his throne." How beautiful, how full of 
meaning to us, was that lesson ! 

Are the storms of earth howling around our 
habitation, threatening to ingulf amid the waves 
upon which we are tossed ? Are the habiliments 
of mourning ours ? Has affliction thrown her 
sable garb over all nature ? A wanderer, dark- 
ness over us, our pillow a stone? Are we in 
poverty's vale ? Has disease laid its wasting 
hand upon us ? Faith looks beyond the dark- 
ened window, pierces through the gloom of the 
things seen, and takes us beyond, to the things 
unseen, " beyond the shutters !" There all is light. 

We hear the voice. Its joyful echo comes pen- 
etrating the darkest gloom of earthly sorrow : 
" Behold, I have loved thee with an everlasting 
love." " He that overcometh shall inherit all 
things," whether he be from a throne of earthly 
glory, or a weeping Lazarus from the rich man's 
gate. If we walk amid earth's pollutions with 
garments white, we shall " have right to the tree 
of life, and enter through the gate into the city." 

" There, no bond is ever sever'd ; 

Partings, claspings, sob and moan, 
Midnight waking, twilight weeping, 
Heavy noontide, — all are done." 

July \st. During last month was permitted 
to attend the camp-meeting on Coldwater Dis- 



148 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

trict. Here we were permitted to renew the 
precious acquaintances of the past ; also, to meet 
again our beloved friends, Doctor and Mrs. Palmer. 
It was sweet to commune together on earth ; to 
tell each other of the dealings of God with our 
souls in the past ; to labor together for the salva- 
tion of others. But there cometh a happier, more 
glorious meeting ! Here, when we meet, tears 
will fall as we look upon the vacant places of 
those who have forever ceased their labors upon 
earth. We list in vain for their words of comfort, 
of holy triumph, in the feasts of love. There, 
there will be no vacant place, no voice missing, 
while the redeemed millions join in the new song 
" unto Him that loved us, and washed us from our 
sins in his own blood !" 

" Blest hour, when righteous souls shall meet, 
Shall meet to part no more ; 
And with celestial welcome greet 
On an immortal shore !" 

This meeting was greatly blessed to my own 
establishment in the way of faith ; and my com- 
panion and myself were greatly encouraged to go 
forth, endeavoring, as we go, to scatter Scrip- 
tural holiness, contending earnestly for the faith 
delivered to the saints. 

Sabbath evening, the last that some of us were 
permitted to remain on the ground, will ever be 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 49 

remembered. Expecting to part in the morning, 
and most likely never all meet again until the 
morning of the resurrection, after the public serv- 
ices, a few of us gathered in our beloved presiding 
elder's tent to reconsecrate ourselves to our life- 
work ; and, while pleading the " promise of the 
Father" to requalify us for our mission, the bap- 
tism of the Holy Ghost came upon us. The form 
of the " Fourth " appeared in our midst, and in 
awe we exclaimed : " How dreadful is this place ! 
This is none other but the house of God, and this 
is the gate of heaven." 

My bodily powers, as were others, were pros- 
trated. My lips could not have uttered a sen- 
tence ; but it was 

"The speechless awe that dares not move, 
And all the silent heaven of love." 

If this be seeing through a glass darkly, what 
will it be when we see face to face ? That may 
be our next meeting with the loved ones with 
whom we that night so sweetly communed in 
foretaste of the better, when this mortal shall 
have put on immortality. Until then, may 
Christ's righteousness be our beauty, our daily 
dress ! for, as Dr. Palmer remarked, " Our Father 
is rich enough to provide all his children with 
white raiment for every day." 



150 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS, 

Father, save me from garments having spot 
or wrinkle or any such thing ! 

" Finish then thy new creation ; 
Pure and spotless let us be ; 
Let us see thy great salvation 
Perfectly restored to thee." 

From here we went to our Albion feast of 
tabernacles. Here God met his people in his 
own leafy temple, and "his candlestick was gold." 
O, what infinite condescension of the Holy One 
that inhabiteth eternity ! "And I will pray the 
Father : and he shall give you another Comforter, 
that he may abide with you forever." Glory to 
his name! Humanity still walks and talks with 
Jesus. 

On Sabbath of this meeting, a number banded 
together to pray especially for the descent of the 
Holy Spirit upon the multitude upon the ground, 
and every interval between public services found 
these together in a tent, pleading the promise, 
" If ye abide in me and my words abide in you, 
ye shall ask -what ye will, and it shall be done 
unto you," for this one thing. Some looked on 
in somewhat of amazement that a few of Christ's 
disciples should expect to hold in check that vast 
multitude by the simple prayer of faith. Evening 
service came, and oft we heard the exclamation, 
as we looked upon the large, attentive, and 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 15 I 

perfectly orderly congregation, " I never saw it 
in this wise! What does this mean?" while 
these few importunate ones, strong in faith, gave 
glory to God, 

There is a God in Israel that heareth prayer. 
O, when shall the Church of the living God real- 
ize her privilege in this respect ? The power is 
already given the army of the Captain of our 
salvation, would she but use it, to take the world. 
He, to-day, is speaking to the Christian Church, 
in words not to be misunderstood," " Hitherto 
have ye asked nothing in my name : ask, and ye 
shall receive, that your joy may be full." 

" O, wondrous power of faithful prayer ! 

What tongue can tell the Almighty grace ! 
God's hands or bound or open are, 
As Moses or Elijah prays." 

August \%th. Since my last date, have seem- 
ingly been brought very near death's door, by 
heart-disease and partial paralysis. Some of the 
time it seemed but a step over to the other 
shore. Felt to say : 

" Hark ! they whisper : angels say, 
Sister spirit, come away !" 

Yet I had a strong desire, if it were the will of 
the All-wise Father, to live ; not but what all 
looked bright and joyful! O no ! It was all 
light about the river: could hardly see even the 



152 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

shadow of the conquered monster, Death ; but, 

as I looked over the past of my life, so little had 

been done for the cause of Christ, so few stars 

gathered for the diadem of the Redeemer, and 

so many thronging the broad road that I would 

fain bring home to God and heaven, that I could 

but feel that, if Infinite Wisdom saw fit, it were 

preferable to live, even though it be to go forth 

weeping, bearing precious seed, that I might 

finally come again " with rejoicing," bringing my 

sheaves with me. And then there were loved 

ones, who need I should stay. God has heard 

their prayer. 

" Still let me live, Thy blood to show, 
•Which purges every stain." 

September 4th. Have just been permitted to 
attend a camp-meeting on our own circuit. It 
was appointed amid many discouragements; but 
we heard the command, " Go forward ;" " Lo, I 
am with you alway ;" and, looking away from 
human encouragement, the meeting was ap- 
pointed, and we betook us to the place of 
prayer, asking of Him who heareth prayer to 
incline the hearts of his people to leave their 
worldly cares, and go and sacrifice unto the Lord. 

This prayer was answered beyond our expec- 
tations, and eternity alone will tell the results 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 53 

of the meeting. Many of our own members, as 
well as those on adjoining charges, were here 
enabled to realize their calling's glorious hope — 
"inward holiness;" and others were taken out 
of the " horrible pit, out of the miry clay," and 
their feet placed upon " the Rock," and a " new 
song" put in their mouths, even praise unto our 
God. To God alone be all the glory! 

During this meeting my companion, who had 
it in charge, was wonderfully helped in his ardu- 
ous duties ; and, beyond the expectation of my 
friends, though very feeble in body, I was per- 
mitted to mingle in the assembly of God's saints. 
And there we again set to our seal, " God is 
true." With newly-learned notes of praise, we 
there raised our " Ebenezer," having come hither 
on our pilgrimage home, by the help of God still 
looking forward to the finding of happier ground 
than ever we have found while in the tented 
grove. 

September 20th. Have just returned from our 
Annual Conference, held at Lansing. Went ask- 
ing that that mingling with God's chosen might 
be made a special blessing to my own and the 
souls of others ; and I here record it as one of 
the best weeks of my life. 

Our social prayer and converse circles at 



154 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

brother Johnson's — the dear family with whom 
we boarded — were made a lasting blessing. Sev- 
eral of those occupying positions of usefulness, 
there sought and found the rest of faith ; and 
went to their newly appointed fields of labor 
with renewed courage and increased strength to 
labor in the vineyard of the Lord. 

Our Sabbath morning Conference love-feast 
was a season of unusual interest. Most of those 
who spoke gave a clear testimony of the present 
witness of the Spirit to the efficacy of the blood 
of the atonement to cleanse from all sin. God 
be praised that this " central idea " of our holy 
Christianity is gaining ground in our state! The 
sons of Levi are being purified. The watchmen 
are giving the certain sound. 

In answer to the united prayer of God's 
people, Zion is arising, is putting on her 
strength. 

The morning does of hope and joy foretell: 
the light is dawning ; the morning breaketh ! 

The prayer Christ himself taught us, " Thy 
kingdom come ; thy will be done in earth, as it 
is in heaven," will be answered. 

We are returned to Leroy. Have commenced 
the year with renewed consecrations of all to 
Christ. Never felt more the worth of immortal 
souls than at present. 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 55 

December 20th. 

" Joy for thee, happy friend ! thy bark hath passed 

The rough sea's foam ! 
Now the long yearnings of thy soul are stilled : 
Home ; home ! thy peace is won, thy heart is filled, 

Thou art gone home !" 

To loved ones in Christ, with whom so often 
in the past we have sat in " heavenly places" in 
Christ, the cry has been made, " Behold, the 
Bridegroom cometh : go ye out to meet him !" 
But long had they been watching, clad in bridal 
attire, with lamps trimmed and brightly burning. 

" Notv their lamps are gleaming from the distant shore, 
Where no billows threaten, where no tempests roar." 

MRS. HARRIET BROCKWAY* 

They who, without a murmur, have given 
their loved ones to the grave, and with tearless 
eye — looking upon the heaven-side of the. dark 
cloud gathered about their pathway — have said, 
"The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away: 
blessed be the name of the Lord !" know some- 
thing of the victories of the cross. % But the 
mother who, with the question pressing hard 
upon her, " Who will shield my daughters ? who 
will guide my boys ?" has placed the hands of 
the little group into the hand of God, and then, 

* Wife of Rev. N. L. Brockway, Michigan Conference. 



156 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS, 

with a smile, has turned aside into the valley, 
knows more. This victory was sister Brockway's. 

While in the midst of the swelling tide, in 
triumph she exclaimed, " Strong consolation ! 
strong consolation ! who have fled to Christ 
for refuge !" 

By her words, we were reminded of a beauti- 
ful illustration we recently heard Bishop Clark 
use, while preaching from "The word of the 
Lord is tried :" 

"A lady came to the bank of a swollen river, 
whose waters were foaming and dashing wildly 
upon the rocks beneath, which could onlybe 
crossed by a single foot-plank. 

" She placed her feet upon the plank, took a 
step or two, when, affrighted by the angry roar- 
below, she retraced her steps, and again stood 
upon the shore. Then, again summoning new 
courage, her feet were placed upon the sin- 
gle foot-piece ; but her head grew dizzy as she 
saw, beneath, the splashing tide, and again in 
haste she retraced her steps, and stood upon the 
bank of the river. For a few moments she stood 
undecided, while with earnest desire she looked 
over the tide ; then, with her eye fixed upward y 
with firm, steady step, she placed again her foot 
upon the plank, and, without faltering, reached 
in safety the desired shore. 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 57 

"A friend who, from the opposite bank, had 
watched her, inquired, ' How dare you cross on 
that single plank, with those deep, angry waters 
foaming beneath ?' She replied, i Others, look- 
ing upward, had crossed over in safety ; the plank 
had been tried ; and, then, here were loved ones 
waiting for me !' " 

O death ! thy stream is bridged forever ! Not 
all the combined forces of earth and hell can bear 
away the foundation thereof. A thousand Niag- 
ara's blended into one have here no power. 
"That by two immutable things, in which it was 
impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong 
consolation who have fled for refuge, to lay hold 
upon the hope set before us, which hope we have 
as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, 
and which entereth into that within the veil." 
" The Word of the Lord is tried ;" our friends 
cross over the river in safety. 

Sister Brockway was an earnest laborer in 
her Master's vineyard ; and many, at the different 
places where, with her devoted companion, she 
has toiled, will "rise up and call. her blessed." 

We last met her on the Coldwater Gamp- 
ground, where she mingled with God's people, a 
joyful witness of the power of grace to save from 
sin. As she lived, so she died ; and now is ming- 
ling with the host that have crossed the flood. 



158 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

" Write, Blessed are the dead which die in the 
Lord, from henceforth ; yea, saith the Spirit, that 
they may rest from their labors : and their works 
do follow them." 

MRS. ELEUTHERIA CRANE* 

For forty-one years sister Crane shared with 
her devoted companion — who was prominent 
among the noble men who laid the foundation of 
the Church in our West — the toils and triumphs 
of the itinerant life. Many of her gathered 
sheaves have passed over before her ; others will 
come after. She possessed in no usual degree 
the mind of Christ ; and this, like the natural out- 
gushing of a pure fountain, was constantly vent- 
ing itself in acts of unselfishness. Of her we find 
written by a friend, who knew her well, the 
following : 

" Modest and unobtrusive, she was still inde- 
fatigable. At the bedside of the sick and dying, 
in homes bereaved, and in the abodes of want, she 
was a ministering, angel. In every place she 
lived, her name 'is as ointment poured forth/ 
Her piety was unpretending, but pervaded her 
whole life. She exhibited the spirit of Jesus. 
Repeatedly it is said : ' We never saw any thing 

*Wife of Rev. Elijah Crane, Michigan Conference. 



EXTRA CTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 5 9 

in her spirit or conduct we would have otherwise/ 
God's Word was her constant study and guide^ 
God's house and ordinances her chief delight. 
Even in advanced age she was seldom absent 
from the public or social assembly. To the close 
of life she was a teacher in the Sabbath-school, 
and her class were tearful mourners at her grave. 

" In the privacy of her own home her beautiful 
character shone with its sweetest luster. ' Her 
husband's heart trusted in her, and her children 
rise up and call her blessed.' It was a priceless 
privilege to dwell in a home pervaded by a pres- 
ence so pure, so exalted ; to be loved and guided 
by one so good and wise. The hospitalities of 
her home, the genial welcome, the unwearying 
tenderness, and the thoughtful care, will never 
be forgotten by hundreds. 

" She sickened and died within one week ; and 
thus was gratified an often-expressed desire that 
she might ' cease at once to work and live.' To 
the Church of her love, and to her sorrowing 
husband and children, she leaves the priceless 
legacy of her beautiful character and life, and the 
blessed assurance that ' they who sleep in Jesus 
will God bring with him.' " 

" Servant of God, well done ! 
Thy glorious warfare 's past ; 
The battle's fought, the race is won, 
And thou art crowned at last." 



l60 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

By these bereavements, two itinerant homes 
have been made sad, O so sad and lonely ! Two 
pillars of the Church have been removed. But 
they live in Zion above. There, " not one of the 
stakes thereof shall ever be removed, neither shall 
any of the cords thereof be broken." 

December 2%th. A Christmas-gift of " Life 
and Letters of L. L. Hamline." Read a few 
pages, and laid the book down with breathings of 
soul after God, and intense longings to know more 
of the inner life, the life of faith. O, how full of 
poverty this soul ! How poor the offering it gives 
compared with such ! Thou God of Jacob, of 
Elijah, breathe into my soul their faith, and 
then, O " Son of man !" stand confessed in all thy 
saving power ! Am taking these aspirations of 
soul to the Father, pleading the merits of the 
Son. Am so unsatisfied with self, even with 
every effort to glorify God. O Father ! art thou 
in this way already answering these soul-aspira- 
tions, and leading me nearer thyself? — causing 
me to see my poverty, that of thee I may buy 
"gold tried in the fire," that I may be rich ; my 
blindness, that of thee I may have "eye-salve" 
wherewith to anoint mine eyes, that I may see? 
causing me to behold my nakedness, that of thee 
I may be provided with " white raiment ?" Then 



EXTRA CTS FR OM EXPERIENCE. 1 6 1 

I thank thee for even my poverty of spirit ; thank 
thee for humbling me in the dust, if need be. 
Only from this let me arise to glorify thee. Only 
let me, out of all my griefs, a bethel raise, and be 
brought nearer thee, and I 'm content. 

January 12, 1868. Sweet is the day of sacred 
rest. Deprived of the blessings of the sanctuary 
by ill health ; but in my surrendered heart there 
is consecrated a house of prayer. 

Thousands, while I write, are mingling in the 
assembly of God's saints. Were I permitted to 
be among' them, my glad heart might learn new 
themes, new songs of praise. My soul seems in 
communion with the pure in heart, both here and 
on the other side of the narrow stream which di- 
vides the Church ; with the loved ones in Christ, 
east, west, north, and south, in whose company I 
have taken so much delight, and the multitude 
whom I have never met, but whose acquaintance 
I shall form in heaven. Have thought of the 
ecstasy of joy I should know were a company of 
these gathered upon earth, and I permitted to sit 
among them, and listen to the words that would 
fall from their lips as they told of the victories of 
the cross ; then, in blissful anticipation, my mind 
.reaches forward to that,, not day, but eternity, I 
shall be permitted to spend with these, and more! 

11 



l62 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

"That great mysterious Deity, 
We soon with open face shall see ; 

The beatific sight 
Shall fill the heavenly courts with praise, 
And wide diffuse the golden blaze 

Of everlasting light." m 

O, wondrous thought, that I, even I, shall be 
thus exalted! — raised from my low estate, and 
made a king and priest unto God ! O, wondrous 
exchange ! my garment of guilt, pollution, shame, 
and sorrow, exchanged for one of spotless purity, 
and thus be made meet for an inheritance with 
the saints in light ! What a mystery, yet what a 
glorious truth, that faith in a crucified, risen Re- 
deemer, should produce a change so great ! Not 
strange that angels should wonder at the love 
that crowns us ! 




CHAPTER IX. 



<Ha2 1st. 

REV. ELIJAH CRANE* 

"And if the brightest diadem, 
Whose gems of glory purely burn 

Around the ransomed ones in bliss, 
Be evermore reserved for them, 
Who here, through toil and sorrow, turn 

Many to righteousness ; 
May we not think of thee as wearing 
That star-like crown of light, and bearing, 
Amid heaven's white and blissful band, 
The fadeless palm-branch in thy hand ; 
And joining, with a seraph's tongue, 
In that new song the elders sung ?'' 



JJHE pillars of Zion below are fast being 

O, that the 



•MiP/Si removed to Zion above 

TSJJ mantles of those who have so Ions: 



blessed the Church and the .world with their 
example and labors, as they vanish from sight, 
may fall upon those who take their place ! 

* Michigan Conference. 

163 



164 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

Inadequate are we to the work of penning the 
tribute our heart would dictate to the memory of 
this champion of Jesus. Memories of the past, 
personal words of comfort and strength given, rush 
upon us ; and, with those who mourn him as father, 
we would weep. 

Those clear pointings from the sacred desk to 
the " blood that cleanseth ;" the testimonies for 
years listened to, of the power of a life of faith ; 
those prayers leading so near the Throne, causing 
one to forget all but the one thought: "We are 
in the presence of God," — how the memory falls 
upon us as "ointment poured forth," and we can 
but exclaim, Though dead, he yet lives on earth 
as truly as in heaven ! 

For forty-seven years, immortal monuments 
have been marking the pathway of this devoted 
minister of Christ here ; and a monument of 
immortal souls, saved through his instrumentality, 
is before the Throne. His " record is on high." 

Little did we think, when upon our heart fell 
the saddening intelligence, " Sister Crane is no 
more," that so soon they would be reunited in 
the mansion made ready for their rest. No one 
visited him during his last hours but that felt to 
say, " If this be death, 't is happiness to die !" 

To his daughter, Mrs. Daugherty, who — after 
a week's absence — being overcome with emotion 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 65 

upon coming into his room and seeing him so 
greatly changed, he said, " I am going very fast ; 
but O, I wish you could see it as I see it !" She 
said, " How does it seem, pa?" He replied : " O, 
delightful ! most delightful ! I have naturally a 
strong love of life, and although I never, since be- 
coming a Christian, have feared deatJi> yet I have 
always felt an aversion to the grave ; but now 
there is no spot of earth so attracts as a place 
beside your mother. I have felt, for weeks past, 
as though I were more a resident of the spirit- 
land than of this ; am always surprised when I 
awake and find myself still an inhabitant of 
earth." 

At another time, he asked of her, " Do you 
recollect what Bunyan says of the land of Beu- 
lah ?" On receiving an affirmative reply, he said, 
" / know all about it now" To another daugh- 
ter, during a severe paroxysm of pain, when all 
thought him near his departure, he said, "Ah, my 
daughter ! the separation will be but short ; to me 
it looks like no more than stepping into another 
room !" 

The Sabbath before his death, at a communion- 
service in his room, he said, " How I wish I had 
strength to talk for a little while to these brethren 
and sisters in Christ, of the wonderful view I 
have had this morning of the atonement ; of the 



1 66 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

wonderful manner in which the atonement, the 
glories of redemption, has opened up before me!" 
Upon this occasion, he requested that nothing 
should be sung of dying, but spoke of the hymn 
with the words, 

" Sing of His dying love, 
Sing of his rising power," 

which was sung ; during which the words, 
" Glory ! glory !" seemed breathed as from a soul 
who had already joined in the sweeter song of 
" Moses and the Lamb " above. 

Thus passed the closing hours of this servant 
of God. With him, at eventide, it was light, 
and around him has broken the eternal morn 
of heaven. 

May $th. Have been deprived, for some 
months past, on account of ill-health, from en- 
tering actively into labor for the salvation of 
souls. My present allotment seems to be suffer- 
ing, instead of doing the will of God. 

Missives from loved Christian friends came 
laden with tidings of battles and victories ; news 
of sinners returning home ; and, as I have pe- 
rused these precious remembrances, oft have I 
found my heart silently exclaiming, " O, that I 
too might in some way, however humble, enter 
into personal, active effort for the salvation of 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 67 

others !" It has often seemed that a few hours, 
even, of such labor would be a precious boon. 

Deprived in a great degree of accustomed 
communion with Christian friends, the mind af- 
fected by the weakness of the body, the adver- 
sary of late has seemed to take special delight in 
taunting suggestions of my want of the spirit of 
labor, my lack of zeal in the cause of my Mas- 
ter ; and that this was sufficient to convince me 
that I had lost my abiding in Christ, — against 
which I had but one standard to raise up, " The 
just shall live by faith. " 

This morning, at our sacred hour of ten, I 
was led to ask that the Lord would give to my 
soul an earnest hungering and thirsting after 
righteousness, and that thus these accusations 
of Satan but be used for my advancement in the 
way of holiness. 

Realized through the day an answer to this 
petition ; and though my mind was much occu- 
pied in surrounding cares, in the midst of these 
often found my soul going out in aspiration for 
a fresh anointing, the anointing that abideth. 

At evening family devotion, these breathings 
became so intense that I asked of the Lord 
some promise upon which anew to rest my faith. 
Immediately, with wonderful power, these words 
were applied : " And the very God of peace 



1 68 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. . 

sanctify you wholly : and I pray God your whole 
spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless 
unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 
Faithful is he that calleth you who also will 
do it." 

Preserved blameless ! O, the depth of mean- 
ing in those two words ! Can it be that mortal 
should be so transformed, so raised from his 
fallen state? Blameless in the searching gaze 
of a holy God ? Blameless before the multitude 
before the throne, who delight to cry, " Holy, 
holy is the Lord of hosts ?" O grace ! it was 
thou contrived the way of so wondrous a salva- 
tion — grace, that laid the shining way from 
earth's pollutions to heaven's glories ; grace, that 
taught my wandering feet to tread the narrow 
way ; and, when forever saved in heaven, grace 
shall swell the song of a sinner saved by its 
power. 'T is enough ; and, satisfied with all Thy 
dealings, whether joyous or afflictive, I rest me 
in thy will. 

September 4th. At Conference, at Three 
Rivers. Was deeply impressed, this morning, 
by the remarks of Bishop Ames to the class of 
candidates to deacon's orders. His remarks 
upon the growth of the inner life were especially 
blessed to me. Among others, this sentence 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 69 

thrilled my soul : " In this onward march, no one 
owns the lot in front of you." O, how my soul 
goes out in strong desire to know more of this 
" knowledge in Christ Jesus !" Heights I see 
before me ; depths there are yet unfathomed ; 
lengths and breadths of this love of Christ, fel- 
lowship with the Father and Son, of which I 
know so little. Shall I be satisfied when, with 
the redeemed from every tongue, I stand upon 
Zion's heights ? I shall know more when I see 
him as he is, the King in his beauty; but 
eternity will be none too long for the revealing 
of the mystery unknown. 

March 19, 1869. 

" His slender sail 
Ne'er felt the gale ; 
He did but float a little way, 

And putting to the shore, 
While yet 't was early day, 
Went calmly on his way, 

To dwell with us no more. 

He seemed a cherub who had lost his way, 
And wandered hither ; so his stay 

With us was short, and 't was most meet 
That he should be no delver in earth's clod, 
Nor need to pause and cleanse his feet, 
To stand before his God — 
O, blest word — evermore !" 

Have just returned from Litchfield, where we 
went on Wednesday. Almost the first words of 



170 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

greeting were, " Little Brucie 's dead !" How 
sadly the intelligence fell upon our heart! Could 
it be that those active limbs were lifeless ; that 
those little feet had forever ceased their patter- 
ing ; that the music of that voice was forever 
hushed, and the itinerant home of our dear 
brother and sister Hoag so suddenly made 
desolate ? 

We remembered the text of Scripture quoted 
so beautifully wrong, in his childish forgetfulness : 
" Blessed are the pure in heart " — slowly repeated 
several times, in vain trying to get the latter 
clause, when, suddenly catching the beauty of 
the inspiration, he added, " for God is ever with 
them." And we thought, Ah ! the lesson he is 
now learning as no earthly instructor could teach, 
the blessedness of " God ever with them ;" for he 
is forever with God. 

True, the light of an earthly dwelling has 
forever gone out, and a little mound, and a stone 
marking where his form lies, must soon, in the 
wanderings to and fro of the publisher of the 
news of a risen Redeemer, be left to the care 
of strangers ; but there is a family gathering, a 
reunion coming — not in this vale of tears, where 
fears of parting always chill, but in the beautiful 
mansion above, beside the crystalline stream, 
where flowers, which he so dearly loved upon 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 171 

earth, bloom immortal. There little Brucie waits 
the father and mother and weeping sister, upon 
whom a great sorrow has early fallen. 

We did not wonder at the exclamation of our 
dear sister Hoag on the morning after his funeral, 
as she looked upon his little boots, his cap, the 
little saw he used, and the toys scattered here 
and there : " It seems as though I could not re- 
move these from our sight. They make it seem 
more as though he were coming back to us." 
And yet we felt to magnify the grace that enabled 
those stricken hearts calmly amid their tears to 
say, " The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken 
away; blessed be the name of the Lord!" " He 
can not come to us, but we shall go to him." 

During the visions of last night, after min- 
gling our tears together at their family altar, 
where was missed the sweet voice lisping, 

" Now I lay me down to sleep," 

I beheld sister Hoag standing as a teacher of a 
large Bible-class, having herself chosen for the 
lesson, "That the trial of your faith, being much 
more precious than that of gold which perisheth, 
though it be tried with fire, might be found unto 
praise and honor and glory at the appearing of 
Christ." After having very clearly discussed the 
manner in which, by suffering, the graces of the 



172 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

Christian are brought to a state of perfection, 
how often our Heavenly Father, in answer to 
our prayer to be made more Christ-like, permits 
to come upon our heart some great sorrow, thus 
weaning from earth, and proving to us the depth 
of meaning in " Whom the Father loveth he 
chasteneth," 'with a holy joy thrilling her coun- 
' tenance, she gave this beautiful illustration : 

" Some years ago, a few ladies, who were met 
in a certain place for the study of the Scriptures, 
were reading the words, ' For he is like a re- 
finer's fire and like fullers' soap ; and he shall sit 
as a refiner and purifier of silver : and he shall 
purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold 
and silver ;' when one remarked, 'There is some- 
thing remarkable in the expression, " He shall 
sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." ' After 
some conversation, they agreed that, during the 
coming week, and before their next meeting, one 
of their number should visit a silversmith, and 
report what might be said upon the subject. 
She went, and, without telling the object of her 
errand, begged to know from him the process of 
refining silver, which he fully described. •' But, 
sir,' said she, ' do you sit while the work of re- 
fining is going on?' 'O yes, Madam,' he replied ; 
' 1 must sit with my eye steadily fixed on the 
surface; for if the time necessary for refining be 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 73 

exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver is 
sure to be injured^ At once she saw the beauty 
and comfort of the expression, ' He shall sit as a 
refiner and purifier of silver/ and turned to leave 
the shop, when the silversmith detained her by 
adding ' that he only knew when the process of 
purifying was complete by seeing his own image 
reflected in the silver/ " 

Ah yes ; dear, afflicted one ! Thou art being 
tried in the furnace of affliction. " Many shall 
be purified, and made white, and tried ;" but, 
blessed assurance that, the Heavenly Refiner sits 
by. Not one trial more than is necessary will 
be permitted ; and when, in the morning of the 
Resurrection, shall be made known the " whys 
and wherefores," among thy list of blessings this 
shall stand foremost, " That thy heart has bled." 

" Grace comes as oft clad in the dusky robe 
Of Desolation, as in white attire." 

June loth. Am daily becoming more deeply 
impressed with the truth that the hiding-place 
of the Christian's power is sympathy with Jesus. 

If we would reflect the image of Christ, we 
need to be much with him ; with him in prayer, 
in meditation, and with him in our daily walk 
and intercourse with the world. 

The Comforter is given that he may abide 



174 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

with us forever, not as a transient guest, but an 
abiding friend ; and if we thu§, abide with Christ, 
and he with us, will we not — though almost un- 
consciously to ourselves it may be, yet so per- 
ceptible to those with whom we associate — be 
changed into the image of the heavenly ? 

Go, for instance, into a room filled with rich 
perfume. When we go from thence, we shall 
carry with us of its odor ; remain long away, 
and it is lost. Go again, and again we go out 
carrying with us of its fragrance. Thus it is 
with our intercourse with Him who is styled the 
" Rose of Sharon/' and the " Lily of the Valley." 
If much with him, we shall partake of the love- 
liness of his character, of the sweetness of his 
spirit ; and the unseen power accompanying his 
words, causing the utterance, " Never man spake 
as this man," shall be ours, attracting to the 
cross of Christ. O, it is prayer, communion with 
the Unseen, above all else, that will qualify us 
for usefulness in life, and for the "abundant" 
entrance to the city above! 

" Heaven's gates are not so highly arched 
As princes' palaces : they that enter there 
Must go upon their knees." 

Said one, a few days since, of a dear friend who 
dwells in the secret place of the Most High, " I can 
not go into her presence without being blessed." 



EXTRA CTS FR OM EXPERIENCE. 1 7 5 

This truth, that they who thus walk and talk 
with Jesus will exert a power for good wherever 
they move, causing unbelief, in all its forms, to 
hide its distorted face, is beautifully expressed in 
the sentiment of the fable : 

11 One day 

A wanderer found a lump of clay 
So redolent of rich perfume, 
Its odor scented all his room. 

* What art thou?' was his quick demand ; 
' Art thou some gum from Samarcand ? 
Or spikenard, in a rude disguise, 

Or other costly merchandise?' 

* Nay, I am but a lump of clay.' 

'Then, whence this wondrous sweetness, say?' 

' Friend, if the secret I disclose, 

I have been dwelling with the rose.' 

Meet parable ! And will not those 

Who love to dwell with Sharon's Rose, 

Distill sweet fragrance all around, 

Though poor and mean themselves be found ? 

Blest Lord, abide with us, that we 

May catch these odors fresh from thee !" 

July 1st. How oft called to weep with those 
who weep and to mourn with those who mourn, 
while fast are being gathered our treasures for 
the Savior's diadem ! A memorial from Rev. Mr. 
A. Daugherty, informing us of the recent death 
of their little Willie (aged ten years), reads as 
follows : 

" This dear little boy, around whom clustered 
the brightest hopes and warmest love, has thus, 



f/6 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

just in the budding of his young life, been 
transplanted to 

* The everlasting gardens, 
Where angels walk, and seraphs are the wardens ; 
Where every flower brought safe through death's dark portals, 
Becomes immortal.' 

" Through his most painful illness, of four 
weeks* duration, his sufferings were borne with 
the most lamb-like patience and sweetness, his 
intellect remaining unclouded to the very last. 
When asked how he would feel about going to 
the bright land whose inhabitants never say, 'I 
am sick!' he always replied that he was not at all 
afraid to go to the Savior, but did not like to 
leave papa and mamma. A few hours before his 
death, he cheerfully said, * I guess I 'm going, 
mamma,' kissing good-bye to each, and saying to 
his weeping sister and brother, ' Do n't cry, Hat- 
tie ; do n't cry Charlie !' and, again assuring his 
parents that he was 'not a bit afraid,' he sweetly 
fell asleep. ... 

" Reunited to his older brother, Eddie, his 
grandparents, and the blessed Savior, of whom he 
always delighted to hear, we know he will await, 
in the world of light, the coming of those he left 
in darkness and tears, yet who 'sorrow not as 
those who have no hope.' " 

May our dear brother and sister Daugherty 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE, IJJ 

find in Christ that consolation they so love to 
recommend to others, and finally, may they be a 
reunited family in the land of purity, to which so 
many of their number have of late passed ! 

" The dear departed that have passed away 
To the still house of death, leaving thine own ; 
The gray-haired sire that died in blessing thee, 
Mother, Eddie, and Willie, they who gave 
Thy home the light and bloom of paradise ; 
They shall be thine again, when thou shalt pass, 
At God's appointment, through the shadowy vale, 
To reach the sunlight of th' immortal hills." 

July 20th. Years ago I learned to say, " I 
thank Thee for my creation." This morning I 
say it with a fervor unknown before. Thou, O 
Father, readst it, down in the depths of this 
soul, that from that depth, while holy joy thrills 
the being, " I thank thee for this being" — a being 
created for so noble, high, and holy a purpose : 
" To glorify God and enjoy him forever ;" and 
that, with this being, thou hast given to all such 
power for usefulness — a power that, if wisely 
wielded, may affect for good the eternal destiny, 
not only of those now surrounding us, but of 
souls yet to be. It may be but the smallest bark 
on the ocean, but it leaves its track behind ! 
Waves are created by it, which in turn create 
others, and thus its influence is exerted on, and 
on, until each drop of the mighty deep, for miles, 



178 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

is affected by it. Thus it is with the lightest 
wave of influence. Once set in motion, it ex- 
tends and widens until it reaches yonder eternal 
shore ! 

Listened recently, to J. B. Gough. Said he, 
during his lecture, in speaking of one whose name 
is unknown to the world except in abiding fruits, 
who recently died, leaving his family dependent: 
"They shall never want for the comforts of life, nor 
those children for the means of education. And 
why? Because, when I was but a lad, with a 
word of advice, he kindly put his hand upon my 
shoulder! That act saved me from the vortex of 
sin to which I was hastening, and placed my feet 
in the path of virtue." 

"A nameless man, amid a crowd 

That thronged the daily mart, 
Let fall a word of hope and love, 

Unstudied, from the heart. 
A whisper on the tumult thrown, 

A transitory breath, 
It raised a brother from the dust ; 

It saved a soul from death. 
O germ ! O fount ! O, word of love ! 

O thought, at random cast ! 
Ye were but little at the first, 

But mighty at the last !" 

We scatter seeds with careless hand, never ex- 
pecting to see them again ; but in ages yet to 
come, their fruit will appear either in poisonous 
weeds that shall mar the land, or in fruit ready to 



EXTRA CTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 79 

be gathered for garners above. 0, the blessed- 
ness, O the responsibility, of life ! One mistake, 
one neglect, may wreck unnumbered immortal 
souls ! One act, one word, may save immortals 
from immortal woe ! Then 

" Talk not of talents ; what hast thou to do? 
Thy duty, be thy portion five or two. 
Talk not of talents ; is thy duty done? 
Thou hadst sufficient, were they ten or one !" 



KEYSTONE OF THE ARCH. 

1 

In a meeting, not long since, where testimony 
was being given for Jesus, and where the glory 
of the Lord shone among the saints, a beloved 
minister, newly baptized for the work, said : " I 
am going home to write Holiness upon the key- 
stone of the arch. Then shall the inhabitants of 
the rock sing, and the dwellers in the vales catch 
the flying joy." 

God be praised, this joy, through the blood 
that cleanseth, is ours ! Years since, " Holiness 
upon the keystone of the arch " enraptured our 
vision. We were among the dwellers in the vale. 
Dark mountains of unbelief towered on either 
side. We had read, it is true, in the legacy of the 
Christian, of a land where " thy sun shall no 
more go down, neither shall thy moon withdraw 
itself, for the Lord shall be thine everlasting light, 



180 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

and the days of thy mourning shall be ended ;" 
had heard the voice, "And an highway shall be 
there, and a way, and it shall be called, the way 
of holiness. And the ransomed of the Lord shall 
return, and come to Zion with songs and ever- 
lasting joy upon their heads ; they shall obtain 
joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall 
flee away." But as it was in the days of a Saul 
of Tarsus, a Cornelius, that God's order was to 
lead to himself through human instrumentalities, 
sq in our experience ; and not until from direct 
testimony we had heard, "We speak that we do 
know, and testify that we have seen ;" " I know 
for myself and not another, that the blood cleans- 
eth from all sin, ,, were we enabled to enter the 
rest of faith, and testify of the land of Beulah as 
no longer in the distance. And what was true 
in our experience, we find to be true in the 
experience of the Church, with but occasional 
exceptions, that God's order is, " That his Word 
and his Spirit lead to himself through our fellows 
as instruments." 

DEFINITE TESTIMONY 

We believe to be the want of the Church at the 
present day, and is just where thousands are with- 
holding from themselves and others rich, spiritual 
blessings. " Give, and it shall be given unto 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. l8l 

yon : good measure, pressed down and shaken 
together, and running over," has a deep, spiritual 
meaning. This world of sin and spiritual dark- 
ness needs light. Not lamps lighted, and then 
put under a bushel ; but those that, amid infi- 
delity and opposing influences, shall shine with 
an even, clear luster, giving light to all around. 
Not the light of testimony by mouth alone ; but 
the added one of holy lives. Holiness and con- 
sistent lives, we believe, go hand in hand. They 
are inseparable. 

Not long since, we attended a meeting where, 
in public controversy, by some it was maintained 
that direct testimony with regard to^the doc- 
trine of holiness was unnecessary, and where 
reference was made to " the sisters who talk so 
much of holiness." For a moment, a feeling of 
complacency crept over us, as we thought, " We 
certainly are not meant." But this feeling, under 
the searchings of the Spirit, was suddenly swept 
away, and, instead, a feeling of shame, that upon 
this blessed doctrine of the Bible we were so 
silent ; and to bear this cross, to more fully than 
ever before identify ourselves in sympathy with 
this cause, we thus write. 

There are times when our Heavenly Father 
permits us to see only the cross ; leaves us 
for a little while on the bleak side of the 



1 82 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

mountain. We feel the scorn of the world, real- 
ize the ignominy of the cross, see naught but 
the toil and suffering ; but, while whispering, 
"Thy will be done," suddenly the crown, with 
all its glory, shining as the " brightness of 
the firmament," and as the " stars forever and 
ever," and the monument of souls before the 
Throne, bursts upon our vision ; and, more 
firmly than ever before, we clasp to our hearts 
the cross. 

" The way to bliss lies not on beds of down, 
And he that has no cross deserves no crown." 

Thus from that meeting we came. We Ve 
clasped anew the cross ; in humility we lift the 
banner, with the motto, " Holiness unto the 
Lord !" and earnest is the prayer : 

" My faith as gold refine, 

Each grace and virtue prove, 
That in my spotless life may shine 
The light of perfect love." 

Beloved reader : the question is with us, 
"Who shall thus upon the 'keystone of the 
arch' place 'Holiness?'" Famishing thousands 
throng our churches. Wealth, position, and in- 
fluence they lay upon her altars. The preaching 
demanded by the times falls upon the ear of 
these worshipers ; but inly there is a cry of 
unrest. Unsatisfied, the multitude are crying 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 83 

out for the Living Bread. Earnest is the long- 
ing of the soul for the smiting of the Rock, 
from whence shall flow the healing stream. 

Minister of the Gospel: anointed of the 
Lord, and called to this one work, that of crying, 
"Behold the Lamb!" — we speak with humility, 
with reverence for the holy work — we look to 
you to place first in prominence before us the 
banner given to us as a people. O, let the way, 
by your teachings in accordance with the Word, 
be made so plain that " the wayfaring men, 
though fools, shall not err therein !" By your 
testimony, both in our public and social means 
of grace, O feed our hungry souls ! 

God be praised that the sons of Levi are 
being purified, that we have not need to say, 
" The former days were better than these ;" but 
of the Lord there are being called those who 
"feed Jacob his people, and Israel his inher- 
itance ;" and sounds of rejoicing are coming 
from rock and vale. O, that this joy may in- 
crease until, from east, west, north, and south, 
like the noise of many waters, there shall come 
up the shout of triumph, of a world saved by 
the power of grace. 

Class-leaders : you bear a share of this 
great responsibility. Members there are in 
your class who are looking — long have they 



1 84 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

been looking — for some Joshua, who shall from 
knowledge tell of the land flowing with milk and 
honey. O, lead on these weary ones into the 
land of rest from inbred sin ! 

Seeker of this joy — the spotless robe, the 
beauty of saints : enter by faith into the pos- 
session of thy purchased inheritance. No longer 
go mourning because of the oppression of the 
enemy. End the controversy between thy soul 
and God, causing thee so much of sorrow, and, 
by one act of entire consecration, lay thyself 
upon the altar that sanctifyeth the gift. Long 
have you been proving, by fastings, groans, and 
tears, it may be, that 

" No outward forms can make us clean ; 
The leprosy lies deep within." 

O, venture by faith, just as you are, upon the 
atoning merits of the world's Redeemer ; and 
then from the Rock, saved entire, joyful shall 
be the song : 

" Jesus, thy blood, thy blood alone, 
Hath power sufficient to atone ! 
Thy blood can make us white as snow ; 
No Jewish types could cleanse us so." 

Dear reader : hast thou found thy way into 
the temple, and still are at ease in Zion ? Think 
not to shun your share in this work. Say not, 
as the wants of the Church, her lack of moral 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPER1EXCE. 1 85 

^power, comes up before you, "Am I my brother's 

keeper?" Thou art. Around you, turn which 
way you will, are those who have a right, from 
your long experience it may be, or from your 
relation to or position in the Church, to look to 
you for spiritual food. Too few are the fathers, 
too few the mothers, in Israel. " For when for 
the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need 
that some one teach you again which be the first 
principles of God ; and are become such as have 
need of milk, and not of strong meat." Long- 
has trie baptism of power been awaiting you, 
and still what language so applicable as, — 

" Oft did I with the assembly join, 

And near Thy altar drew ; 

A form of godliness was mine, 

The power I never knew ?"' 

While thousands, it may be, looking to you as a 
leader in Zion, are, with you and through your 
influence, feeding upon husks, powerless for 
good. O arise! Shake thyself from the dust 
covering thy garments, wash by faith in the 
cleansing fountain, and put on thy beautiful 
array, ''holiness," which is power. TJien shall 
the "inhabitants of the rock sing," and the 
dwellers in the vale shall " catch the flying joy." 



CHAPTER X. 




CTOBER 8th. We are now settled at 
Moscow, our new home, for the year. 
Found, upon our arrival here, a large 
company met at the parsonage to welcome us, 
which greatly cheered our hearts. 

How true, that the itinerant must be always 
ready to confess himself a stranger and pilgrim 
on the earth ! 

Two weary weeks have been spent in repair- 
ing, papering, and painting; and now we are 
looking with longing toward the already whitened 
harvest. Very few, we fear, are the reapers. O, 
so few to raise the standard of the cross ! 

This morning, while pleading before God for 
help, these words were strongly applied to my 
mind : " For ye shall go out with joy, and be led 
forth with peace : the mountains and the hills 
shall break forth before you into singing, and 
all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. 
186 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 87 

Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir-tree, 
and instead of the briar shall come up the myrtle- 
tree : and it shall be to the Lord for a name, for 
an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off." 

February 20, 1869. Several weeks have passed 
in most earnest extra work for the prosperity of 
Zion, and the salvation of souls- A few have 
sought and found pardon, and the Church has 
taken higher ground in experience ; but opposing 
influences are strong. Infidelity has long had the 
ground, and fearful is the contest. But, God be 
praised, we know that, sooner or later, Truth shall 
triumph ! 

Have been strengthened in reading of the 
rivers Arve and Rhone, whose waters meet but do 
not mingle — "the one, with its waters of heavenly 
blue, which it is almost worth a pilgrimage to see ; 
the other, dark and muddy, because of the clayey 
soil through which it runs, and the glaciers by 
which it is surrounded. For miles they run with no 
barrier between, except their own innate repulsion ; 
and for a long time the struggle is doubtful. But 
if we follow them far down into the valley, we 
find that the Rhone has conquered, and filled the 
whole surface of the valley with its own emblem- 
atic blue." "As I live, saith the Lord, all the 
earth shall be filled with the glory of the Lord." 



1 88 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

Have been greatly blessed in trying, in some 
humble way, to share these labors with my com- 
panion. At times have been completely lifted 
out of self while standing before the congregation. 

One evening, while pleading audibly at the 
altar, suddenly the whole church, and, to my vision, 
the streets of Moscow, seemed radiant with an 
unearthly, glorious light. 'Mid this light I beheld 
myself walking and crying, "Behold the Lamb!" 

The next evening, while testifying for Jesus, 
in a wonderful,- and to me hitherto unknown, man- 
ner, the Spirit came upon me, and I found myself 
walking the aisles of the church, entreating the 
unsaved to be reconciled to God, while hearts 
were melted before the voice of him who spake 
through the frail tenement of clay. 

Being very weak in body, my husband after- 
ward said that he feared the glory was more than 
I could endure ; but I saw in it only another veri- 
fication of " God hath chosen the foolish things 
of the world to confound the wise : and God hath 
chosen the weak things of the world to confound 
the things which are mighty ;" and a fulfillment 
of the promise given me at the beginning of the 
year: "For ye shall go out with joy, and be led 
forth with peace ; the mountains and the hills 
shall break forth before you into singing, and all 
the trees of the field shall clap their hands." 



EXTRA CTS FR OM EXPERIENCE, 1 89 

November 2%th. The past few months have 
been months of trial. Mr. M'AUister's health 
failing, he was obliged, at last Conference, after 
nineteen years of itinerant life, to take a super- 
annuated relation. None but those who have 
passed through the same trial, with heart still 
clinging to the work, know the cost of such a 
decision. 

We were only partly settled in our home at 
Litchfield, when he was taken violently ill (hemorr- 
hage of stomach), and for weeks seemed very 
near the close of earth's pilgrimage ; but our 
Father in mercy has stooped again to the cry of 
stricken hearts, and he seems fast recovering. 

January 1, 1870. A new year dawns upon us, 
and nestling in my arms I find a new-born babe. 

"This beautiful, mysterious thing, 

This seeming visitant from heaven ; 
This bird with the immortal wing, 

To me, to me Thy hand has given. 
Doubts, hopes, in eager tumult rise ; 

Hear, O my God ! one earnest prayer : 
Room for my bird in paradise, 

And give his angel plumage there." 

February 27th. Our Allie is nine years old 
to-day. For some time past, have been much 
drawn out in prayer for his speedy conversion. 
A short time since, unsolicited by any, he went 



190 SUNSHINE AMONG THE. CLOUDS. 

alone to the altar of prayer, and, we think, gives 
good evidence of acceptance with God. 

What a strange doctrine is that which would 
have our children wander for years in sin and 
folly, as a seeming necessity, and then be brought 
back to Christ ! How much better to keep them 
always in the fold ! The promise is to us and 
to our children. 

October 10th. The experiences of the past 
Summer have been somewhat peculiar. From 
care of our little Eddie, have been much deprived 
of the public means of grace ; but my mind has 
been strangely exercised regarding public work. 
For years, I have fully believed that to the women 
of the Church has been given a special mission 
for the Master, and that the promise of the Father, 
and its results, embraced both sexes, for " in 
Christ there is neither male nor female ;" but 
have always had a strong, natural aversion to 
any thing that might be considered boldness in 
this direction. In the experiences of the past, I 
have been pressed, by what I fully believe to be 
the Spirit of God, to duties which, according to 
my previously formed opinions, were in direct op- 
position to the rules of female propriety ; and, in 
the experiences of the present, I am constantly 
hearing, as it were, a voice saying, " I have set 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 191 

before thee an open door, and no man can shut 
it!" In communion with my Father in heaven, 
the word "appointment" is much before me, and 
I see myself standing in this and that place, warn- 
ing sinners to flee from the wrath to come, and 
urging the Church to purity. At times I am 
inclined to think this all of the adversary, to 
hinder and distress me in my journey. 

Last Sabbath, went with husband to his ap- 
pointment at Sand Creek, but had no sooner 
taken my seat near the center of the church, than 
my mind became much exercised with the con- 
viction that I had there some special duty, and 
this exercise of mind continued during the ser- 
mon, so that I trembled much in body, the words 
being pressed upon my heart : " If ye be willing 
and obedient, ye shall eat of the good of the land ; 
but if ye be disobedient and rebel, the blood of 
souls will I require at your hands !" 

Being thus impelled, I arose, at the close of 
the sermon, and asked the privilege of speaking ; 
and as I gave utterance, as the Spirit led, un- 
consciously walked to the front of the altar, where 
I found myself when I ceased. A sweet con- 
sciousness of the approval of the Master, " She 
hath done what she could," followed this. But 
why these out-of-the-way. duties ? I find myself 
often asking. 



192 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

December 20th. Our Woman's Foreign Mis- 
sionary movement is inspiring the hearts and 
rilling the hands of some of the sisters upon our. 
(Albion) District. 

I see in it the opening of a great door, and 
effectual. God's providence and Spirit is surely 
leading. I start back, almost appalled, in view 
of the responsibility. The ladies of our district 
have formed an association, of which I have been 
made a corresponding secretary, and informed 
that it is expected of me that I do what I can 
in the holding of public meetings, organizing 
societies, etc. 

Went, recently, to Mosherville (my first " ap- 
pointment "), and tried to talk for our cause ; but 
thought most of the time, while speaking, that 
the congregation would be so glad when I had 
ended, and I knew I should. Would have been 
glad if there had been a passage back of the altar 
for going out, instead of passing down the aisle. 
Brother Mosher came to me with words of en- 
couragement, asking if this was my first mission- 
ary address. I replied, " Yes : and my last /" for 
at that moment I felt that I could never again 
thus stand before the congregation. 

August 2\th. Our Albion Camp-meeting has 
just closed. To me it was a memorable season. 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 93 

I had but just reached the ground, when a warm- 
hearted brother grasped my hand, with the salu- 
tation : " I understand you preached at Spring 
Arbor last Sabbath. Sorry I was not there," etc. 
His words greatly distressed and tried me, and I 
thought to myself, if this is the report that is to 
go out from my little missionary talks, that " Sis- 
ter M. has gone to preaching !" I will cease. 

That evening, while kneeling in the congrega- 
tion, asking for some promise upon which to rest 
my soul, this was given : " I can do all things 
through Christ who strengthened me." 

A public missionary meeting had been an- 
nounced, but as the ladies we had expected were 
not present, the lot to speak fell upon me ; so I 
found that my time for "ceasing" had not yet 
come, unless, like Jonah, I ran from duty. 

At the close of the missionary meeting, our 
pastor, Rev. G. W. Tuthill, came to our tent, and 
without there ever having a word passed between 
us on the subject, informed me that he expected 
to bring my case before the next quarterly-con- 
ference (which was to be in less than a week), as 
a candidate for license to preach. By his words 
I was thrown into great distress and perplexity 
of mind, and hastened to a retired part of the 
grove, where I spent most of the remainder of the 
day in tears and supplications, alone with God. 

13 



194 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

The next morning, in the closing scene of the 
meeting, while marching round the ground, as I 
took the hand of Rev. N. L. Brockway, in a 
moment's time, I seemed lifted above earth into 
the presence of our departed. The glory of that 
hour is indescribable. 

I could not move a step farther, nor could I 
utter a word. The next I was conscious of, I 
was resting in the arms of my dear sisters, 
while the songs of Zion filling the air, the shouts 
of praise, the countenances of God's saints, and 
all nature around, seemed heavenly beyond 
description. 

That night, after returning home, I awoke, 
at the midnight hour, with the words, " Go ye 
into all the world, and preach the Gospel to 
every creature," with a peculiar emphasis upon 
"ye." My room seemed lighted, up with the 
glory of God. I arose in my bed, and said* 
audibly, " I '11 go, Lord ;" for at that moment 
the way seemed clear. But in the morning it 
was thrust aside as nothing more than a vision 
of the night. 

Whatever the Master would have me do, I 
can see no necessity for a formal license ; but 
believe it would be. a hinderance, instead of 
help, to my work ; and in this my husband and 
others concur. 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 19$ 

September 2d. Spent some time in conversa- 
sion with brother Tuthill to-day. He still 
presses the license question, bringing some 
seemingly strong arguments in favor ; yet I 
think there are as many against. 

He desires me to speak here next Sabbath 
evening. I told him that, if he wished a mis- 
sionary meeting, I would do the best I could, 
but could take no farther responsibility. 

Am greatly distressed in mind. O God, un- 
dertake for me ! I would do thy will ; but this 
can not be my duty. 

September Ajh. Spoke at the missionary 
meeting last evening, to a full house ; but felt 
little freedom or satisfaction in my work. 

I seem to be enshrouded in darkness. The 
words, " Go ye," follow me. They meet me in 
the closet, in the class-room, in the prayer-circle, 
and in the great congregation. "Whither shall I 
go from thy Spirit ; or whither shall I flee from 
thy presence ?" And yet I have loved to go at 
the bidding of the Master. But he requires no 
impossibility. 

November $th. Have decided to go forward. 
My mind is sweetly stayed upon Christ. 

Perhaps I need this crucifixion, for my own 



I96 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

good. It is much pressed upon my mind that 1 
must begin my work at home. 

November 10th. Have had conversation with 
our present pastor, Rev. W.'H. Ware, as I felt 
that I could not, and ought not to, speak upon 
his charge without his approval. 

He, too, presses the license question, and 
again I am thrown into perplexity. " License to 
preach !" is not what I want. I only want to 
work and talk for Jesus as he bids me. I am 
not willing the report should go before me, " She 
has license to preach." 

I fully believe — such are the prejudices of the 
Church, and world — it would hinder my useful- 
ness, in that so much more would be expected. 
I can not consent. 

What I have suffered in mind, for the past 
few days, God only knows. 

January 3, 1872. Went, on last Saturday, 
by invitation of the pastor (Rev. J. Clubine), 
with husband, to North Adams, to spend Sabbath 
and attend watch-meeting. 

It was a season of blessed experience to my 
soul. Felt much depression of mind on my way 
there, and much shrinking in view of the cross, 
but was lifted above all ; and, in an unusual 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIEXCE. 1 97 

manner, God's Spirit was poured out upon his 
people. 

February 28///. We have just returned from 
a week's stay at Union City, spent in labor for 
souls. God greatly helped ; and we were per- 
mitted to see some precious souls come to Christ, 
and some of the leaders in Zion come out in 
clear, definite testimony regarding the efficacy 
of the Blood to cleanse from all sin. Never 
before was I enabled so fully and constantly to 
rest upon the promise, ■■ Lo, I am with you 
ahvay." 

July 10th. The past four months have been 
a season of great conflict with the powers of 
darkness. At times, feel to cry out, " My God ! 
my God ! why hast thou forsaken me ?" 

Find in my heart a great aversion of feeling 
to any public work. Have been greatly pressed, 
and almost constantly occupied, with my house- 
hold cares. I am in the midst of these, placed 
here by Providence, and God's order is always 
one of perfect harmony. One duty never inter- 
feres with another. 

Yet, at times, find myself in much conflict of 
mind. Have settled the question of public work 
thus : I will try and meet all the demands of 



I98 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

God s providence in this direction. Will go to 
the ends of the earth with my companion, if God 
calls, trying in every way to hold up his hands ; 
and will labor as God opens the way, both in 
public and private, for the upbuilding of his 
cause ; but will avoid every thing that looks 
like the assuming of special public work. May 
I not in this way fully meet the requirement, 
" Go ye into all the world and preach the Gos- 
pel?" for preaching, in its generic sense, means 
simply "a proclaiming of the love of Christ to a 
lost and ruined world." 

Mr. M'Allister hopes to be able to take work 
at the next session of Conference. To this I 
am looking forward with earnest longing. Have 
felt, of late, that most willingly would I spend 
my life in going from house to house, in talking 
and praying with the people, if I may but • be 
released from this one cross constantly before me. 

Recently attended a missionary meeting at 
Jackson, but felt no freedom in speaking ; but, 
on the contrary, was filled with anguish, the 
moment I had ceased, in the thought that God's 
cause had not been honored. 

August 22d. Our Albion Carap-meeting for 
this year has just ended. What a year of con- 
flict the past has been ! But, God be praised, I 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 1 99 

have not been left comfortless. During this 
meeting I enjoyed much of His presence. 

Here I asked that, if it were the Lord's will 
that I enter more fully into work for the Master, 
some person might be given me with whom I 
might safely leave the care of my family during 
my absence from home. Again and again, after 
making this request, Miss H. Melvin, a Christian 
lady from Adrian, then on the ground, though a 
stranger to me, was presented to my mind as 
the person ; but such were her circumstances 
that I thought it impossible, and said nothing. 

After our return, we were surprised by a visit 
from her, and her remark that she felt that she 
could not return to Adrian without first coming 
to our home ; and that, the moment she crossed 
our threshold, she felt as though a hand was 
laid heavily upon her. 

Before leaving, she decided, if the way opened, 
to meet us at Conference, and go with us to our 
field of labor, wherever it might be. 

Am much drawn out in prayer that God will 
direct our steps ; that, if not for his glory, if we 
may be more useful in promiscuous work, the 
way may not open for us to take regular work. 
We rest in the promise : " In all thy ways ac- 
knowledge Him, and he shall direct thy paths." 
" He shall choose our inheritance for us. ,, 



200 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

Earthly considerations have no power to in- 
fluence our hearts ; but we feel, more and more, 
that the one work of soul-saving must be ours. 

I remarked, in one of our social gatherings 
near the close of this camp-meeting, that I ex- 
pected to know in the future, as I had not known 
in the past, the meaning of " Alone with Jesus." 
Wondered, as I took my seat, why I thus ex- 
pressed myself; but felt that, in some way, the 
words had a deep significance. 

My experience is not as satisfactory as in the 
past. Have not that constant abiding by faith in 
Christ, and joy in believing, I once possessed. 
But I believe I shall yet praise Him " who is the 
help of my countenance." I call to mind the 
past, when I said, My foot slippeth ; but the 
mercy of the Lord held me up. 

August 27th. Spent last Sabbath at Hanover. 
It was a Sabbath of sweet rest to my soul. 
Husband preached from " Be filled with the 
Spirit." God wonderfully helped in the utter- 
ances of that hour, as he placed before the 
Church her blessed privileges in this respect, and 
the glorious results of being thus filled with the 
Spirit of our living Head. 

In the evening, held a missionary meeting, at 
which I spoke for a short time. 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 201 

September i$th. Husband has been very 
poorly for several weeks past. Is now very sick. 
Was to have preached at the Congregational 
Church to-day (has for some time been occasion- 
ally supplying that pulpit). Had announced for 
his theme, " Entire Consecration," and has been 
very anxious to be able to meet his engagement. 

September 20tk. Husband is still very low. 
It has been a week of great anxiety. Conference 
is now in session at Jackson. Had looked for- 
ward with much anticipation to the meeting with 
loved ones in Christ on that occasion. The 
words, 

" God moves in a mysterious way, 
His wonders to perform," 

are much on my mind. 

September 2^d. Watching still, night and 
day, by the bedside of my suffering companion. 
A line from Miss H. Melvin this evening, saying 
that she will be here on the morning train. She 
had expected to meet us at Conference. 

During the night, my mind was much exer- 
cised with the words, " Behold the fire and the 
wood ; but where is the lamb for a burnt-offer- 
ing ? And Abraham said, My son, God will 
provide himself a lamb for a burnt-offering ?" 



202 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

All seems shrouded in mystery and darkness. 
See by the papers that we have no appointment. 
Find our hearts were much set on again entering 
the effective ranks ; but, on my knees, I have 
been enabled to thank God for all the dispensa- 
tions of his providence, both joyous and afflictive. 

September 2<$th. Hattie Melvin is with us. 
Sent of the Lord, seems best to express her 
mission to us. Being a practical nurse, she 
seems just what we now most need. 

Husband seems slowly improving; but is 
still very weak. 

October id. Mr. M'Allister is able to sit up 
but very little. I gain no evidence in prayer 
regarding his recovery. When pleading "in this 
direction, these words are invariably applied to 
my mind,' "I was brought low, and he helped 
me." I can not comprehend them. Clouds and 
darkness seem gathered about us. At times, am 
filled with foreboding fears ; then, again, am 
lifted above all. Husband is very hopeful, and 
physicians give much encouragement. 

October 28th. How unsearchable are the 
judgments of God, and "his ways past finding 
out !" " For who hath known the mind of the 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 203 

Lord, or who hath been his counselor?" " I was 
brought low, and he helped me !" 

Three weeks ago, my dear companion seemed 
fast recovering, when suddenly he was prostrated 
by a nervous chill, and, in a few hours, his mind 
became an entire wreck. His physician expressed 
but little hope of his ever being any better, as his 
little remaining strength was only kept up by the 
constant use of stimulant. God only knows the 
anguish of those hours. 

Near six P. M., as I was sitting watching by 
his side, suddenly, as if a voice were speaking, 
the question was presented, " If your husband 
live, will you, from this hour, take upon you this 
cross, that of preaching my Gospel?" Unpre- 
pared to answer, I thrust it from me. Soon after, 
his physician coming in, in reply to my anxious 
questioning, and the entreaty that he would keep 
nothing from me, as it were better that I knew 
the worst and prepare for it, gave me to under- 
stand that there was but little, if any, chance for 
hope. Anguish indescribable filled my soul at 
the thought of the bitter cup before me ; but one 
thought seemed to penetrate my being as none 
other — that of going alone to labor in the vine- 
yard of the Master ; and then he, on whom I had 
so heavily leaned, passing away without one word 
of parting counsel or comfort. 



204 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

Near eleven, with still greater emphasis, the 
question again came, " If your husband recover, 
will you, from this hour, take upon you this cross, 
and obey the command, \ Go ye into all the world 
and preach the Gospel ?' " Fearful was the 
struggle ; but there, seemingly standing with 
earth's dearest friend upon the very brink of the 
river of death, I entered into a solemn covenant 
with God, that, let the consequences be what 
they would regarding this life, from that hour that 
cross should be mine. 

In a moment, all anxiety regarding my hus- 
band was lifted from me, and I could have shouted 
aloud the praises of my Deliverer ; and with this 
came the assurance that at twelve his mind would 
return. Precisely at the midnight hour, his mind 
began to rally, and before one, he was himself 
again. 

A few hours after, having lain down to get 
some rest, there came up before my mind a view 
like this : I saw my companion and myself stand- 
ing upon the brink of the river of death. All was 
midnight darkness about the river, the waters of 
which were perfectly smooth, not a ripple being 
discernible. 

On the river I could discern, notwithstanding 
the darkness, different small boats ; and each 
boatman, with muffled oar, seemed anxiously 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 205 

watching for the command to be given from the 
opposite shore, to come for my husband. 

Then, on the opposite side of the river from 
where we were standing, there came a glorified 
band, among whom I realized the presence of our 
loved, departed ones come to welcome him. As 
I gazed upon this company of white-robed re- 
deemed ones, my soul was filled with a glory no 
tongue can describe. 

Then, as I glanced back to where we were 
standing, I saw myself, with my hand, waving the 
boatmen back ; and as I thus stood, making every 
exertion to keep them from coming for husband, 
I saw the glorified company turn from the shore 
toward the celestial city, while my companion and 
myself turned toward earth. The rapture of this 
hour no mortal tongue can express; but I believe 
it to be a faint glimpse of what we shall feel when 
our life's work is wrought, and our friends wel- 
come us to the city above. 

November \ZtJi. Husband has seemed in a 
very critical condition for the past three weeks. 
No one during this time has been permitted to 
enter his room but the family. Hattie Melvin 
and myself have had almost the entire care of 
him, as we dare not risk a change of watchers. 
He is wasted to a mere skeleton. Most of this 



206 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

time the village have been in hourly expec- 
tation of hearing the bell toll, announcing his 
departure to the land of rest ; but I have felt 
clear in the assurance that he will again mingle 
in the family circle. He is too weak to converse 
much, but is calm and patient, some of the time 
triumphant. He fully expects to recover. Says 
that when again permitted to enter the vineyard 
of the Master, he will have a new experience 
from which to preach — that he shall preach 
holiness as never before. 

November 20th. Mr. M'Allister is still improv- 
ing. Am pressed in spirit with regard to a public 
confession regarding the convictions of the past 
two years. Feel that I dare not enter our church 
without; yet difficulties are in the way which 
seem insurmountable. Is this, can this be my 
duty? Am fully decided regarding the work it- 
self, as the Lord opens the way ; but would not 
such an act seem like the opening of the door 
for one's self? God, my Father, knows I would 
not go until sent, nor can I longer tarry if the 
Master bids me go. But my convictions seem so 
strange, so full of mystery to myself, so fully in 
opposition to all the prejudices of the past! 
What will they be to others ? 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 207 

November 24th. On yesterday, received a let- 
ter from sister Crawford, in which she says : 

" God, my Father, reveals to me that he has 
something for you to do. I feel that either a 
great duty or a great sorrow hangs just over your 
head. I am with you every moment, waking or 
sleeping, and so drawn out in prayer for you. 

" In my dreams, I am pressing you to the 
cross ; awake in the silence of the night, with 
outstretched hands, pleading for you. God will 
lift up your head. He will hold you by the right- 
hand. He will be with your mouth, and teach 
you what to say. God is with thee ! God thine 
everlasting light! O Emily, hear him say, 'Go 
forward !' " 

Her words overwhelmed me, and, for hours, in 
a flood of tears I walked the house, crying, " If 
it be possible, let this cup pass from me ;" but 
when I added, " Nevertheless, not my will but 
Thine be done," sweet peace filled my soul. 

November 29th. Mr. M'Allister and myself 
have to-day had conversation with Rev. E. D. 
Young (our present pastor), in which I told him 
of the experience of the past, keeping nothing 
back. When I had ended, he said, " Let us ask 
direction of God before going farther." 

Instead of asking for himself (I supposed that 



208 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

what I had said had thrown him into perplexity 
of mind), he pleaded with God that every doubt 
might be removed from my mind, and I have 
strength to go forward in the work given me to 
do. My soul was richly baptized, and again I 
saw my way clear in the words, "/ have set 
before thee an open door!" 

December 2d. The cross I have so long tried 
to pass round, I have at last found strength (not 
my own) to move on before me. Went to 
church last evening, and told the story of the 
conflicts of the past and decision of the present. 
Some wondered, some wept, and this heart real- 
ized, as never before, the meaning of the words 
given me at Albion Camp-meeting : "Alone with 
Jesus. 

December ^th. The past three days have been 
such hours of conflict and crucifixion to the 
world as I have never before known. Yesterday, 
at morning-prayer, opened to " We have for- 
saken all, and followed Thee : what shall we 
have therefore ?" I have entered upon the pos- 
session of my inheritance, and am satisfied. 
" In the world tribulation, but in Christ peace." 
With this cross I am being lifted toward my 
crown. Ah, the nearer ■ I get to Calvary, the 



EXTRA CTS FR OM EXPERIENCE. 209 

smaller my cross appears ! How it dwindles into 
insignificance ! 

Last evening, while met in our social-meeting, 
in telling my brethren and sisters in Christ that 
my trust was in the God of Israel, a rich bap- 
tism rested upon me, and if, instead of a small 
congregation of Christ's disciples, I had had be- 
fore me the multitude of opposing men and 
women, I am sure I could have spoken unto them 
Jesus and the resurrection. 

December $th. Husband continues to improve. 
Has rode out some this week. Yesterday, we 
visited at the parsonage. A large company 
present. He enjoyed it much. Three months 
since his last visit. We are beginning to antici- 
pate very soon being able to redeem our pledges 
made to several, to assist in extra meetings during 
the Winter. 

December \OtJi. On yesterday, husband was 
able to be about the street attending to his busi- 
ness. My heart was filled with joy and gratitude ; 
but this morning he was taken suddenly worse. 
His physician expresses fears concerning him, 
which, from kindness to me, he has not before 
mentioned. I can not but think he will soon be 
better again. 

14 



210 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

Rev. E. D. Young and brother Kellog (class- 
leader) have spent the evening with him. Had 
a blessed season of prayer. Husband was very 
triumphant. After they left, he called me to his 
side, saying : " My dear, does it not do your soul 
good to hear persons pray with such access to 
the Throne ? Did you notice how confidently 
they asked that I might 'yet preach Christ as 
never in the past ?' " 

December \2th. O, what hours are these ! All 
yesterday, hope seemed giving way to fear. Last 
evening, my dear friend, Mrs. Rev. H. Jordan 
(formerly Mrs. Twogood) very unexpectedly came 
to me. Did not God, my Father, see my need, 
and send her to strengthen my falling hands ? 
We prayed together for husband. Blessed access 
was given. O, how I was pressed to the bosom 
of Infinite Love, until I asked for his life, when 
suddenly, my mouth was closed, and I could not 
utter a sentence more! 

This morning, the certainty of the future 
seems settling upon me. Alone I seem to stand, 
exposed to the pelting storm, while, one after 
another, every earthly prop is being taken away. 

They have just been singing by his bedside, 
" The war is almost ended now !" He exults ; / 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 



211 



weep ! O, what anguish ; what desolation ! And 
not one gleam of light ! 

"Deep in unfathomable mines 
Of never-failing skill, 
He treasures up his bright designs, 
And works his sovereign will," 




CHAPTER XI. 



ECEMBER i 8th. It is past ; and I sit 
down in my desolated home, not to 
write of pain and anguish, but of joy 
and victory ! 

" Life hath won the victory — 
Trodden death beneath his feet !" 

On Thursday, the twelfth, we were convinced 
that an ulcer had broken in the left lung of my 
husband, and that we could not longer hope for 
his recovery. Upon being informed of his situa- 
tion, with a smile he replied, " It is all right ; 
/ am all ready F 

Friday afternoon, we saw that he was failing 
fast. Toward night, he said, "- Pray that if it be 
the Lord's will, I may have strength given me to 
talk to each, separately." This prayer seemed 
immediately answered, and he commenced giving 
to weeping ones, at his bedside, such words of 
parting counsel as will always be remembered. 
212 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 21$ 

He spoke in holy triumph of his recent, last 
conflict with the powers of darkness ; of the 
power given him to say to the tempter, as he 
came with his accusations, '-Thus far shalt thou 
come, and no farther ;" saying that, as he uttered 
these words, fee " saw the Lord Jesus standing 
right behind him," and then he knew he was 
conqueror. During all that night of intense 
suffering, his face beamed with an unearthly 
radiance ; and such were the utterances con- 
stantly falling from his lips, so full of glory the 
responses given, as the songs of Zion, such as 

" I know I am nearing the holy ranks," 
" Shall we gather at the river," 
11 Rock of Ages, cleft for me," 

etc., were sung in his room, that all who entered 
felt the import of the words : 

" The place where the good man meets his fate 
Is privileged beyond the common walks 
Of virtuous life, quite on the verge of heaven." 

At midnight, during a severe paroxysm of 
pain, we thought him going ; but he soon rallied, 
and from that hour he seemed more like a res- 
ident of the glorified land than of this vale 
of tears. 

To my father and mother, he spoke of the 
conflicts and victories of the past ; of the trial 



214 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

of not being permitted, on account of failing 
health, to remain in the regular work ; of the 
precious labor in which he had been permitted 
to engage during his superannuated relation, that 
of going here and there presenting Christ a per- 
fect Savior ; of the little heart he had had for 
worldly engagements ; of the all-consuming love 
of the soul for the Church, and of the little he 
had accomplished ; but exulted in the conscious- 
ness that the merits of Christ covered all the 
deficiencies of his life. 

Then he spoke of the custom, when the 
country was new, of the father of the family 
going to what was then the Far West, to make 
ready the new home ; of the parting, and joyful 
anticipation with which the separated family 
looked forward to the reunion around their own 
hearth-stone. Then, of himself as only going a 
little ahead of us ; of the joy with which he 
should welcome us as, one after another, we 
crossed over the river for the eternal reunion in 
our Father's house above. 

Then, with a smile upon his face, he turned 
to me, as I was sitting near the foot of his bed, 
saying, "And now, if Emily will only let me go 
cheerfully, I am all ready !" In anguish of soul, 
I threw myself by his side, exclaiming, " I will 
let you go, my dear ; only speak a few more 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 215 

words of comfort to your poor Emily!" Instead 
of being moved by my sorrow, those who looked 
upon him say, unutterable glory shone upon his 
face as, throwing his arms about me, he replied : 
"My precious one, you have a work to do for the 
Master ! You will have crosses, you will have 
conflicts, you will have reproaches ; but O, the 
reward ! O, the reward ! Will you do that 
work? Will y on do it?" 

Upon my replying, " In the strength of 
Israel's God, I will!" "Glory! glory! Halleluiah! 
Victory ! victory.!" burst from his lips for some 
time. Then, turning to those around (Rev. E. 
D. Young and brother Kellog being present), 
in burning words, he commended his soon-to-be- 
widowed one to the sympathy and help of the 
Church. 

On the morning of the fourteenth, he fixed 
his eye upon a window near the foot of his bed, 
intently gazing, as if upon some object in the 
distance, while a smile of rapture overspread his 
countenance. Hattie Melvin asked, " What do 
you see, brother M'Allister ?" He replied, " Do 
you see any thing unusual ?" She said, " No : 
but you do ; what is it ?" By this time, I had 
reached his side, and said, "What do you see?" 
" Had I strength and language, I would tell 
you," he replied. "Can't you give us just a 



2l6 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

hint of what you see ?" Upon his lips being 
moistened, he said, " My Father! my Father! 
the chariot and the horsemen !" and, with en- 
raptured eye and shining countenance, continued 
gazing. 

Soon after, upon Dr. Howard's coming into 
his room, he exultantly asked : " What do you 
think of my case now, Doctor ? Do you think 
you can keep me now ?" Then, as he took the 
parting hand of his faithful physician, " Are you 
going home now, Doctor?" An affirmative reply 
being given, he said, " You will get home first ; 
but I shall get my mansion first !" 

He then requested us to pray. I repeated 
his request to brother Kellog, who replied, " I 
do not feel at all like praying ; I feel more like 
praising !" to which he replied, " That will do a 
great deal better !" When brother Kellog had 
ceased, my beloved made known to me that he 
wished me to follow ; and there, on the margin 
of the river of death, I gave back to God his 
own, until we meet at the marriage-supper of 
the Lamb. 

Several unconverted coming in as we arose 
from our knees, in a whisper he commenced ex- 
horting them to come to Christ ; and did not 
cease until they had promised to give their 
hearts to God, and meet him in heaven. He 



EXTRA CTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 2 1 7 

then desired that we should go to prayer for 
these, which was done. 

Soon after, brother Young said, " Brother 
M'Allister, have you a word of parting to send 
to your brethren at Conference ?" He immedi- 
ately replied: "Tell my brethren I have been 
connected with the Conference twenty-one years. 
They have been years of toil and trouble ; and 
sometimes I have thought, Why may not I turn 
aside as well as others, and seek wealth and 
ease? But now I understand it! Now I see my 
reward ! I am rich enough now ! If I may give 
my advice, never turn aside from the work to 
which God has called you; but be faithful. 
Preach- Christ! Preach holiness! Never be 
ashamed of it /" 

At near eleven A. M., he requested to be 
raised in bed. This being accomplished, we saw 
that a great change had come over him, and that 
he was swiftly passing to the land which knows 
no suffering. 

He was unable longer to speak, even in a 
whisper; but we had agreed to hold each other's 
hand until the last moment, and, if unable to 
speak, a pressure was to be the signal that all 
was light, all glorious about the river. 

I pause ; for no pen can describe the glory 
which now seemed filling the room, resting upon 



2l8 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

the face, and lighting up the countenance of the 
sufferer. 

One after another of the sweet songs of Zion 
were sung by those around, each one wafting, as 
on downy wing, nearer and nearer the open por- 
tal of glory, from whence the light was streaming 
and resting upon the face of clay. 

As for myself, although my heart was being 
riven with anguish, I seemed not only permitted 
in song to follow his flight, but my spirit seemed 
almost to keep pace with his, as it gazed upon 
the glories of the unseen. 

As they were singing, 

" Out of my stony griefs 
Bethel I '11 raise : 
So by my woes to be 
Nearer, my God, to thee, 
Nearer to thee !" 

by repeated pressures of the hand, he gave me 
to understand that he knew they were singing 
that hymn for me. Then his eye became fixed, 
and for about an hour he was unconscious to all 
around. Brother Young remarked, " He is for- 
ever beyond our reach now !" Dr. Howard, 
holding his pulse, said, " He is almost gone !" 
and I had ceased to look longer for the sign of 
recognition until, with my work done, we should 
meet again on the farther shore. 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 219 

Some one said, "Sing; he possibly may hear, 
even though we know it not." 

They commenced singing, " My sins are 
washed away in the blood of the Lamb ;" and, 
as they came to the words, " Death is overcome 
through the blood of the Lamb," Hattie Melvin 
said, " O see, sister M'Allister ! he is looking at 
you." I replied, " Why, Hattie, you know he 
can not see us [he had previously told us that he 
could not see] ;" but soon felt a slight pressure 
of the hand, and bent over him with the inquiry, 
" Can you see me, my dear ?" to which he replied 
in the affirmative. " Is there any thing you 
want? Can we do any thing for you?" in reply 
to which, with some difficulty, he gave us to un- 
derstand that he wished to be laid back upon the 
bed. This being done, the death-like expression 
all passed from his eyes, and, instead, they 
sparkled with unearthly beauty and light ; and, 
for a moment, I thought, as did others, Perhaps 
God is yet going to raise him up to preach 
Christ. 

" The blood ! the blood ! Victory ! victory !" 
then burst from his lips, after which he made a 
great effort to speak, as if wishing to communi- 
cate something to me. I asked : " Is there any 
thing you wish to say to us ? Have you come 
back to finish up your work ?" Immediately an 



220 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

affirmative response (by the moving of the lips, the 
nod of the head, and the pressure of the hand) 
was given. " What is it ?" A great effort to 
speak. " Have you seen the loved ones ?" " Yes." * 
" Have you seen Katie ?" " Yes." " Have you 
seen Joey ?" " Yes." " Have you seen Truman ?" 
" Yes." " Have you seen the other loved ones ?" 
u Yes." " Is this what you came back to tell us ?" 
" No." " What is it, then ?" Again there was a 
great effort to speak, and I asked, " Is it any thing 
special to me?" "Yes." " Is it any thing con- 
cerning my work ?" A look of satisfaction, show- 
ing that I had at last reached the right question, 
now beamed from his face as he replied, with 
much emphasis, " Yes." Overwhelmed with won- 
der, I hesitated, when brother Young said, " Sis- 
ter M'Allister, ask him if your convictions regard- 
ing your life-work are correct ?" I repeated the 
question, to which he quickly responded, " Yes." 
" Is this what you came back to tell us ?" "Yes." 
" Will I have strength to go forward ?" " Yes." 

I then said to those around : " He will go now 
very quick. His work is done /" To which he 
.responded, with unutterable glory in his look, 
" Yes." Brother Young then turned to me and 
said, " Sister M'Allister, have you any doubts now 
regarding your duty ?" Upon my replying, " No : 

* These responses were all given by the same, triple sign. 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 221 

in the strength of Elijah's God, I '11 go !" " Vic- 
tory ! victory !" again burst from his lips, in which 
I joined ; and upon my strength giving way, they 
laid me upon the bed beside him, and, for a mo- 
ment, I knew not but that together we were to 
be permitted to enter the open gate. 

Then said one, standing by, u Look ! O look ! 
he is trying to clap his hands !" I raised my- 
self and assisted him in his last work upon earth, 
several times clapping his hands together in 
token of victory. Then, without moving a muscle, 
and not a sigh or groan — only the victory on the 
lips and the clasped hands — the spirit entered 
into rest. A thin veil separated us, while I 
turned alone toward earth, clasping to my heart 
the standard of the cross fallen from his nerveless 
grasp. 

They have buried my dead out of my sight. 
" He being dead, yet speaketh !" 

O, now I see why he was permitted to turn 
with me from the dark river toward life's work. 
I thought it to have been for a longer time; but 
God, my Father, knoweth best. I, too, have seen 
the answer to the prayer of which my beloved 
spake so confidently, that he might yet "preach 
Clirist as never in the past /" O, what a sermon 
was that preached on his dying bed ! 

We carried him to his last resting-place just 



222 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

as the sun was sinking behind the western hills. 
A halo of glory overspread the sky, and I thought, 
Thus has his earthly sun gone down ! Then, as I 
entered our desolated home and looked from an 
eastern window, the full moon was rising in all its 
grandeur. Ah, such is the immortal life upon 
which he has entered ! 

December igtk. Last evening was a season of 
severe conflict with the j:ruel adversary of all 
righteousness, he constantly suggesting that, in 
order that I be fully prepared for my work, all my 
earthly comforts would soon be stripped from me ; 
that my children, too, would be lain away in the 
grave ; my home burned ; and, in every sense of 
the word, I would become a wanderer, daylight 
all gone, and darkness forever over me ! 

The fierce storm was raging without ; earthly 
protector gone, and, with feelings only known to 
those who have passed through the same, I laid 
my body down to rest, and at last slept ; but was 
soon awakened by what seemed a voice repeating 
the words of the Psalm (xci) read at the memo- 
rial service of my dear husband : " He shall cover 
thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt 
thou trust. Thou shalt not be afraid for the ter- 
ror by night ; nor for the arrow that flieth by day. 
For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 223 

keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee 
up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against 
a stone. Thou shalt tread upon the lion and the 
adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou 
trample under foot." 

December 20th. Our little Eddie is three years 
old to-day. He goes about the house, saying, " My 
papa up in the sky, called me his precious little 
lamb, and said I must be a good boy." He often 
asks us to sing, " Shall we gather at the river." 
After singing it to-day, he threw his arms around 
the neck of Ella and Allie, saying, " This is what 
we'll do when we gather at the riber !" Precious 
one ! he little realizes his great loss. 

A letter to-day from my dear friend, sister 
Crawford. She has just learned of the departure 
of my dear one to the mansions above, and says : 

" O Emily, what a night I have passed ! Hour 
after hour I lay upon my couch, my soul in deep- 
est, closest sympathy with yours. You seemed 
near me. Some of the time my arms were en- 
circling you. Some of the time you were kneel- 
ing at my feet, resting your weary head upon my 
lap, while my lips were trying t© pour words of 
comfort into your heart. Is it possible my frail 
tender plant again stands alone, exposed to the 
rough blasts of earth ? Could I have known this 



224 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

Saturday, should have come to you instead of 
stopping here [Battle Creek]. 

" O, my precious Emily, do not let your faith 
waver for one moment ! I think I see, in part, 
dimly perhaps, but our God ' moves in a myste- 
rious way his wonders to perform/ Move on, 
thou mighty Jehovah ! Only give us grace to 
say, 'Thy will be donef 

" I spent yesterday afternoon with sisters 
Smith and Mosher. Soon after we were seated 
in the parlor, sister Smith said, 'Brother Joy was 
here to dinner, and said brother M'Allister is 
buried to-day/ I was so shocked and bewildered 
I could scarcely utter a word. 

" A few nights before I left home, I had been 
awakened by a voice saying, ' Your precious 
friend's husband is dead/ I awoke husband, and 
told him of what seemed to be spoken. He said, 
4 1 fear brother M'Allister is not going to stay 
long !' It seemed like the voice of brother Greg- 
ory, at whose house I am now stopping. He was 
sitting on the sofa by my side when sister Smith 
spoke of the burial." 

Brother Crawford thus writes me: "I'll ven- 
ture the assertion, if you and I could have stood 
close by the bank on this side the river, we should 
have heard his shouts as they came echoing back 
across the river, and instead of weeping at the 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 225 

thought that he had left you, you would have 
caught the hallowed flame, and your voice would 
have reached his ear upon the other shore, and it 
would have been glory here, and glory there." 

Ah yes : and thus it was ! I heard his shouts, 
and caught the hallowed flame, and my voice 
reached his ear as he stepped upon the other 
shore, and it was " glory here, and glory there !" 

December 2%th. Two weeks ago, to-day, since 
our home was so honored by the coming of the 
" Chariot of Israel and the horsemen thereof," 
bearing from thence the spirit of one of Christ's 
chosen embassadors. A sacred influence still 
lingers in his room. He seems not far away! 

Brother Young has just been here. He wishes 
me to speak in our church to-morrow evening. I 
am ready to follow my Guide. He leadeth me. 

December ^otk. Spoke last evening, from 
" These are they which follow the Lamb whither- 
soever he goeth." Was kept calm and collected. 
In this I am a wonder to myself. 

January I, 1873. Another year past, and its 
records in eternity. 

" Days come and go, in joy or woe ; 
Days come and go, in endless sum. 
15 



226 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

Only the eternal day 

Shall come, but never go ; 
Only the eternal tide 

Shall never ebb, but flow. 
O, long eternity, 
My soul goes forth to thee !" 

Our watch-meeting was a season of refreshing 
from the presence of the Lord. For myself, 
anew I realized the depth of meaning in the 
words of an apostle : " For ye are not come unto 
the mount that might be touched, and that 
burned with fire ; nor unto blackness and dark- 
ness and tempest. But ye are come unto Mount 
Zion, and unto the city of the living God, the 
heavenly Jerusalem, and to an innumerable com- 
pany of angels/' m 

January Jth. Last week was the Week of 
Prayer. The three Churches of our place came 
unitedly to the mercy-seat, and realized a precious 
outpouring of the Spirit. 

The Baptist minister came out in clear, def- 
inite testimony of the efficacy of the blood to 
cleanse. Great power rested upon him. His 
words were greatly blessed to my soul. O, when 
shall Zion's watchmen all awake and put on 
their strength ? 

On Saturday, just before the close of evening 
service, brother Young came to me, with the 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 227 

united request from the pastors that I speak in 
our Church on Sabbath evening ; saying that, if 
I would consent, there would be no services in 
the other churches. My hand was in that of my 
unseen Guide, and I dared not refuse. 

In a moment after, the Congregationalist min- 
ister came, with the request that I speak in his 
church instead of ours, to which I consented, 
when I remembered the last and unfilled ap- 
pointment of my now sainted companion, and 
immediately felt that his must be my theme for 
the coming evening. 

On returning from morning service, no prepa- 
ration as yet having been made for the evening, I 
retired to the study, and, in a flood of tears, 
walked the room, pleading with God that, if he had 
called me to this work, the needed help might 
be given. My eye rested upon my clear one's 
pocket Bible, the companion of years as he went 
here and there preaching Christ. I hastily took it, 
clasping it to my heart, and then opened to where 
a leaf was turned clown to the words, " If we walk 
in the light as he is in the light, we have fellow- 
ship one with another, and the blood of Jesus 
Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin ;" and 
in them saw my way clear for the evening. 

Realized a lifting up above the fear of man as 
I tried to present Christ, a perfect Savior, to the 



228 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

large congregation, many, no doubt, having come 
from mere curiosity. 

" I shall meet all these again at the judgment- 
bar of God," was so impressed upon my mind, 
that, for the time, the strangeness of my position 
was forgotten. 

But, O how strange, how mysterious, that 
such a worm should be called to such a work ! 
If at the great day one soul may but be found 
upon the right-hand that otherwise would have 
been on the left, the mystery will be solved, and 
my reward sure. 

February 14/A. The extra meetings, com- 
menced at the Week of Prayer, still continue. 
Six weeks of earnest work, resulting in a great 
quickening of the Church, and the salvation of 
many precious souls, have passed. Among the 
newly saved are several of the leading business 
men of our place. To God be all the glory ! 

Most of my time has been spent in these 
meetings, and in personal effort for souls. Have 
been permitted to see several, for whom my soul 
has long been burdened, brought into the fold 
of Christ. In fact, I find so much to do in the 
vineyard, that I have no time to sit idly by the 
way, brooding over my sorrow; and, although 
God has seen fit, in his providence, to hang over 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 229 

my path the cloud that of all others I bewailed, 
at times I see it as a pillar of fire moving on 
before me. 

By invitation of the pastors, spent several 
days at Jackson, and one at Mosherville. God 
here helped me to raise the standard of the Cross. 

Have had some conflicts of late. A few days 
since, a paper giving me license to exhort was 
handed me by my pastor ; and on Saturday 
last I was requested to be present at the Quar- 
terly Conference, to pass the usual examination 
as a candidate for license to preach. 

All my prejudices and self-will in this direc- 
tion I am trying to lay at the feet of Jesus. 

" If Thy grace vouchsafe to use 
The meanest of thy creatures, me, 

The time, the deed, the manner, choose." 

February 16th. The work here still goes on. 
The Church is putting on her beautiful attire, 
and going forth to glorious victory. 

Tried to speak, on Sabbath evening, to a large 
congregation gathered in our Church ; but, not 
feeling usual freedom of spirit, the adversary 
took the advantage, and yesterday was passed 
in severe trial and conflict. It seemed utterly 
impossible to go another step forward in the 
path marked out for me; and the new and 



23O SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

peculiar relation sustained to the Church pressed 
heavily upon me. 

O, how I missed the words of comfort and 
encouragement I have been wont to hear in such 
seasons of trial ! I almost longed for the grave 
to cover my defenseless head. A place beside 
my dear husband looked the most inviting spot 
upon earth. 

In the night, I was awakened, as on a pre- 
vious occasion, over a year since, with the words, 
" Go ye into all the world ;" but this time with 
the emphasis on " Go ;" and " Lo, I am with you 
alway." The cloud was lifted, and again I rested 
upon the arm of my Beloved. 

February 20th. Am now at St. Joseph, with 
my dear friends, brother and sister Crawford, 
where I came, by invitation of brother Crawford, 
to do what little I can for the Master. Find 
souls here seeking Christ. The Lord greatly 
helped, last evening, in speaking for him. 

I have for some time looked forward to this 
meeting with my dear sister Crawford, as a means 
of comfort and strength. God, my Father, in 
tenderness, hath granted me the desire of my 
heart. The journey here, on yesterday, was a 
sad one ; for my husband and myself had antic- 
ipated coming together. 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 23 I 

March ^d. Still at St. Joseph. Have been 
permitted to see some precious souls — among 
these an interesting class of young ladies — come 
to Christ. 

Yesterday morning, lifted a heavy cross, in 
standing before the congregation in this land of 
strangers ; but was sustained by grace divine. 

Last evening was spent, by invitation of the 
pastor, Rev. H. Worthington, at Benton Harbor. 

Here I found the largest congregation gath- 
ered I ever stood before, and but two or three 
familiar faces. One thought seemed constantly 
with me : We meet for the first, and probably 
for the last time, until the great gathering, when 
to the righteous it shall be said, " Come, ye 
blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom pre- 
pared for you from the foundation of the world ;" 
but to the wicked, " Depart from me, ye cursed, 
into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and 
his angels." 

Heaven seemed very near, as I told them of 
the triumphant death of my dear companion. 

Much revival interest has been manifest here 
for some time. Several new ones arose, last 
evening, for prayer. 

Nearly two weeks have been spent with my 
dear brother and sister Crawford in sweet fellow- 
ship and labor with God's dear people in this 



232 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

place. The time of separation will soon come; 
but we '11 meet again. 

Find it a trial to be separated from my family, 
but in cheering power the words are oft applied : 
" Leave thy fatherless children with me : I will 
preserve them alive ;" and regarding all temporal 
interests, I rest confidently upon the promise 
which has been given me several times in the 
experience of the past : " But my God shall sup- 
ply all your need according to his riches in glory 
by Christ Jesus." 

Sister Crawford has to-day given me some 
items of her past experience. With her permis- 
sion, I here record them, believing they will be 
blessed to others as to me. 

EXPERIENCE OF FULL SALVATION. 

"At the age of twelve, I gave my heart to God 
and my name to the Church. For years I walked, 
sometimes in the light and sometimes in doubt 
and darkness. At the age of thirty-four, through 
the labors of a faithful class-leader, Dr. J. B. 
Tuttle, of Jackson, Michigan, I was brought to 
feel my need of a clean heart, and to see my priv- 
ilege as never before. Several weeks I struggled, 
fasted, and prayed, and, at times, in anguish of 
spirit cried, * Victory or death !' The struggle 



EXTRA CTS FR OM EXPERIENCE. 233 

was severe ; but victory was mine through the 
Conqueror. 

"At the close of a day of unceasing prayer, I 
kneeled at my bedside, feeling that all was placed 
upon the altar, and yet fearing that the flaming 
eye of Jehovah saw that the consecration was not 
entire. I said, ' Show me, dear Father, wherein 
I lack, or what withhold ?' Immediately the 
question was asked, ' If the Lord should take 
your husband from earth, would you be submis- 
sive V With tears and anguish of soul, I said, 
* Yes : I '11 step out upon this broad earth alone, 
if it be Thy will !' ' Will you go forth and labor 
for the salvation of souls, talk and pray with sin- 
ners ?' My heart and my flesh shrank, but cried, 
'Any thing; only receive me, fully save me! 5 In 
an instant these words were given : 'And ye shall 
seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for 
me with all your heart. And I will be found of 
you, saith the Lord/ My soul replied, It is enough. 

' 'T is done, the great transaction 's done ; 
I am my Lord's, and he is mine V 

My burden gone, I arose and lay me down to 
sleep without any joyous emotion, but resting, 
trusting, fully in the promise, \ I will be found 
of thee !' 

" I slept, and dreamed that I was in the midst 



234 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

of a broad river, its waters clear as crystal. There 
seemed to be logs, placed one against the other, 
upon which I was walking. Just ahead of me 
were a few dear followers of Jesus, as it appeared, 
hastening to a temple in a beautiful grove far in 
the distance. I could see a narrow path leading 
up the embankment to the temple we were so 
eager to gain. The opposite side of the stream 
appeared low and marshy. A few dear sisters 
were following me. To my surprise, I came to a 
place where one log was removed, and asked, 
' What shall I do ?' They could not advise. 
Knowing that husband was on shore, I called, 
saying, 'Just one log gone; what shall I do?' 
He, waving his hand, replied, ' Plunge in, my dear ; 
it won't harm you !' 

" With perfect confidence, I stepped into the 
pure stream. It did not overflow me ; but I was 
made every whit whole. The glory that filled my 
soul soon awoke me, and ' lo, God was in the 
place!' For days I walked and talked with him. 

' Not a cloud did arise to darken my skies, 
Or hide for a moment my Lord from my eyes.' 

But the enemy of all righteousness was dissatis- 
fied with this ; and, though kept at bay for a time, 
came in like a flood. But, thank God, the Spirit 
of the Lord lifted up a standard against him. 
Hidden in the cleft of the Rock, I was safe. In 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 235 

this hiding-place I keep me, and am safe still. 
Not I, but Jesus keeps me ! 

" * Forever here my rest shall be, 
Close to thy bleeding side !' 

"VIEW OF THE CROSS. 

" Six years ago last Winter, feeling that special 
duties were laid upon me, my whole nature 
shrank. The cross seemed too heavy. Two days 
and one night I prayed to be excused. 

" Just before morning dawned, while seeming 
to pass into a quiet sleep, thought I was standing 
upon a lone but beautiful highway. At my left 
was a vast plain, extending as far as the eye could 
reach, without a shrub or flower. On my right 
was a most beautiful grove ; but not a leaf rustled, 
not the song of a bird was heard, to break the 
stillness. All was silent as though the great 
God had said, ' Be still !' 

" For a moment I looked in wonder at the 
silent, lovely grove ; then turned my eye to the 
plain, anxiously looking for some living, moving 
thing. Presently I discovered, far in the distance, 
an object approaching me, but could not discern 
what it was. As it drew nearer, the form of the 
cross was visible. O, how wonderful it appeared 
to me ! Slowly and steadily it advanced ; when 



236 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

suddenly my eyes beheld a suffering Savior, bear- 
ing the cross alone, in that lone place. As I 
gazed, he sank, in weariness and sorrow, to the 
ground. I made an effort to spring forward to 
help him bear the cross, but could not move. He 
arose, placing his eyes upon me. Such a look of 
love and sorrow combined, no language can por- 
tray. Advancing a few steps, with those speak- 
ing eyes still upon me, again he sank beneath 
his load. Again I tried to go to him, but was 
still powerless. 

" Soon the scene changed. He arose with 
triumph. The victor's crown was upon his brow. 
His hair was white like wool, and no traces of 
sorrow were upon his face ; but O, the look of 
love and tenderness ! With outstretched hands, 
I sprang forward, saying, ' My Lord and my God ! 
I will follow thee ! I will obey thee ; cheerfully 
will I bear the cross !' Our room seemed filled 
with Divinity, and a solemn, sacred awe pervaded 
the entire house. I saw such beauty and power 
in the cross as I had never known or thought of 
before ; and all along my pilgrim-way, since that 
dear morning, I have loved the cross — loved to 
place myself upon it, and let it bear me ! 

" ' The cross for Christ I '11 cherish, 
Its crucifixion bear !' 



EXTRA CTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 237 

"SPECIAL PRAYER BRINGS SPECIAL BLESSINGS. 

"Two months later, months of precious toil 
for Jesus, sister Trauger came to me saying, with 
tears : ' I can not longer rest unless my niece is 
brought to Christ. What shall I do ?' Prayer 
was proposed. I said, before kneeling, ' Let us 
see what God will say unto us f Taking up my 
Bible, I opened to these words : 'Again I say unto 
you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as 
touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be 
done for them of my Father which is in heaven !' 
Said I: 'Will you take this as the voice of God 
now speaking unto us ? Will you claim the ful- 
fillment of this promise ?' She hesitated a mo- 
ment ; then, with streaming tears, said, ' I will !' 
We kneeled, and with the God-Man prevailed. 
During the week we waited patiently for the Lord. 
On Saturday, I awoke at an early hour with my 
whole heart panting after God, in desire for a 
fresh baptism of the Holy Spirit. So intense 
was the burden of soul that everv breath seemed 
prayer. Just after breakfast, as husband was pre- 
paring to go to his quarterly-meeting, sister Trau- 
ger called and urged me to spend the Sabbath 
with her. I accompanied her to her quiet country 
home, and told her of my deep desire for a 'new 
plunge into the all-cleansing fountain. 



238 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

"We retired to her consecrated room, to en- 
gage in devout prayer. Much of the day was 
spent in reading the Scriptures and in prayer. 
Sabbath morning dawned, and, with my soul 
still hungering for the bread of life and thirsting 
for the water of salvation, we prepared for 
church. Just before leaving the house, I again 
entered that room, my heart almost bursting un- 
der the burden, and, kneeling, opened the blessed 
Bible to these words : ' Behold, I will send my 
messenger, and he shall prepare the way before 
me ; and the Lord whom ye seek shall suddenly 
come to his temple, even the messenger of the 
covenant, whom ye delight in ; behold he shall 
come, saith the Lord of hosts.' Faith grasped 
the promise ; and I arose as confident that the 
Lord would come to the temple of my heart as 
though the blessing were already given ; then 
went up to the courts of the Lord's house, and 
tarried at class, calmly waiting for the coming 
of my Lord. 

"Returning home with sister T. and her 
niece, for whom the special prayer was offered 
the previous Sabbath, passed the afternoon, 
prayerfully waiting, watching. The evening 
proved stormy, and we remained at home, im- 
proving the time reading the precious Guide. 
At nine, when we kneeled at the altar, my soul 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 239 

drew near to God. A little later, at my bedside, 
I bowed alone ; but sister T. soon kneeled in 
silence by my side. After a few moments' 
pleading, the Lord, whom I sought, 'suddenly 
came to his temple, even the messenger of the 
covenant, in whom my soul did delight.' The 
whole night was passed in praise and adoration. 
The King of glory condescended to hold con- 
verse with a worm of the dust. My soul was 
satisfied, as with marrow and fatness. My mouth 
praised the Triune, with joyful lips. In the 
morning, I was invited to conduct family wor- 
ship. The prayer led near the Throne. 

' Heaven came down, our souls to greet, 
While glory crowned the mercy-seat.' 

Sister T.'s niece, who was a professed Univer- 
salist, left the room in tears, saying to her aunt, 
who followed her into an adjoining room, 'O 
auntie ! I would give all the world if I felt as 
Mrs. Crawford does this morning.' 

"That evening, she was first at the altar, and 
there remained till her Universalism and sins 
were all washed away by the precious blood 
of Christ. ' If two of you shall agree on earth 
as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall 
be done for them of my Father which is in 
heaven.' Special requests bring special answers. 



240 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

" HEARS ANGELIC CHORISTERS. 

" On the night in which occurred the death 
of my precious friend, Mrs. Mary E. Robinson, 
of Coldwater, and, as nearly as can be ascer- 
tained, at the same moment, I heard, as if in 
the air above our dwelling [parsonage, at Cen- 
terville], angel voices, sweetly singing, ' Home- 
ward bound ! homeward bound !' As the last 
strains died upon my ear, I repeated aloud, 
' Home at last ! home at last !' The music, to- 
gether with the influence in my room, was won- 
derful, thrilling. Have ever believed that an 
indulgent Heavenly Father permitted me to hear 
the angelic choristers, as they bore away the 
pure spirit of my dear friend to her beautiful 
mansion. 

" * Let music cheer me last on earth, 
And greet me first in heaven.' " 

March loth Again at home. With trem- 
bling accent and blinding tears, said I to my 
dear friend, sister Crawford, as we were taking 
the parting hand, and speaking of the anticipated 
meeting with the loved ones at home, " You 
know there will be no dear companion to meet 
me at the depot with the 'welcome home/ as 
usual; and there will be the vacant chair, the 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 24 1 

vacant place at the table, and the vacant place 
as we kneel at the family altar." She replied, 
" I will pray that the joy of the Lord may go 
with you." 

Homeward bound, 'mid the driving storm I 
changed cars at Albion ; but was no sooner 
seated in the coach than the words came press- 
ing themselves upon my mind : " Ye have not 
chosen me; but I have chosen you, and ordained 
you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and 
that your fruit should remain." " In my Father's 
house are many mansions : if it were not so I 
would have told you. I go to prepare a place 
for you." 

As never before, I saw the blessedness of 
being thus chosen, as one of Christ's disciples, 
to go here and there proclaiming a risen Re- 
deemer ; and that I might forever rest in the 
assurance that my labor was not " in vain in the 
Lord ;" that, however feeble the effort might 
appear to myself or others, however void of 
present results, yet the seed should spring up 
and produce fruit. 

" It may toss on many a billow, 
It may strand on many a shore. 
Yon may think it lost forever ; 

But as sure as God is true, 
In this world or in the other, 
It shall come again to you." 
16 



242 SUNSHINE AMONG THE CLOUDS. 

And then, when these toils are all past, the last 
battle fought and the last victory won, in our 
Father's mansion above we'll rest. There no_ 
blinding tears shall ever come ; " for the former 
things are passed away." 

As these thoughts were occupying my mind, 
I glanced out of our coach window, and, as if 
hung from the windows of heaven by God's own 
hand, in front of the dark cloud overspreading 
the sky, and through the driving storm, I beheld 
the reflection of the lamps of our coach. And 
in some manner — how I can not tell, unless by 
the new arrangement now in our coaches of the 
Bible in the rack placed just under the lamps — 
was formed by shadow, just beyond the reflection 
of the lamps, a beautiful mansion encircled by a 
halo of light. And instead of thinking of the 
vacant places in the home-circle, the words of 
my dear McAllister, "I shall get my mansion 
first T brought to my mind a picture of our 
complete home-circle above, as we shall gather 
beyond the darkness and storms of this. 

And I thought, If simply the reflection of 
earth-lights, and the shadow of God's blessed 
Word, can produce so beautiful a picture, and 
cause such joy to thrill the soul at thought of 
the home beyond the sky, what will it be to 
be there ? For " eye hath not seen, nor ear 



EXTRACTS FROM EXPERIENCE. 



243 



heard, neither have entered into the heart of 
man, the things which God hath prepared for 
them that love him." 

" O, when shall I sweep through the gates? 
The scenes of mortality o'er, 
What then for my spirit awaits ? 

Will they sing, on the glorified shore, 
Welcome home ? Welcome home ? 

Yes : loved ones who knew me below, 
Who learned the new song with me here, 

In chorus will hail me, I know, 

And welcome me home with good cheer ! 
Welcome home ! Welcome home !" 




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